Reporting a sexual assault (TW)

[howdoireport]

GP has urged me to consider doing this; the thought absolutely terrifies me .

I was sexually assaulted several years ago by my colleague .
He was/is (I’m not sure if he still is) a doctor, I worked with him but I ended up being his patient when he rotated to a different specialism . Whilst he was treating me he sexually assaulted me . I’ve never been able to call it that but gave the details to Dr just now on the phone and her reaction told me everything, she was horrified and wants me to call the police .

She’s also said she wants me to get counselling/therapy specific to the issue and said as well that I could contact rape crisis .

My heads swimming, I’ve only ever told two other people - one (my therapist) by writing it down, the other is a very close friend . I don’t remember telling the friend - she told me I did the week after it happened, she said it took her an hour to calm me down .

GP said she would back me up if I phone police, my therapist has said she would too but I’m scared I would be accused of lying or something . Can I just tell them what happened and leave it there, it wouldn’t have to go as far as a court or something?

Phew! That's a relief

How are you today, how was your sleep last night?

I’m not too too bad thank you , slept OK actually thankfully . That could be the diazepam from the weekend srill in my system a bit ! Therapist ringing me at 2, she emailed saying how sorry she was that this happened to me, she sounded horrified . I’m relieved I sent her that letter now … I’m almost counting down the minutes until she rings . Hope you’re OK x

That's good, it'll be good to talk things over with her. I hope it goes well and you feel okay afterwards

It did - shattered but it was helpful to talk . She said it’s PTSD, it’s remembering/re-feeling the event over and over . She said it doesn’t need to involve police now or ever - but said maybe one day I will - said in her eyes it was deliberate sexual assault and thinks there were comments made designed to shut me up/make me feel it was my fault (he kept telling me my body was weird).

She does want me to go through trauma focused counselling, my GP wanted me to have psychosexual counselling but GH therapist said no way I’d manage to get through that the way I am, said that will maybe come with time but not right now . Said it would be too triggering .

Going to try and de-stress by sorting cupboards for a bit ! Hope your afternoon going OK, horribly grey/cloudy up here .

Thank you so much

Your therapist sounds good, I agree with her opinion that he was manipulating you with his comments and also pretending that he didn't know what he was doing. So easily deniable.

One step at a time and only if and when you're ready

Now, have you shown those cupboards what's what? It's good to do something productive but that doesn't require too much concentration to let your mind go elsewhere for a wee while. It's cloudy where I am too but it's been good to work outside when it's not too hot, good to get some fresh air

@Orgasmagorical

Your therapist sounds good, I agree with her opinion that he was manipulating you with his comments and also pretending that he didn't know what he was doing. So easily deniable.

One step at a time and only if and when you're ready

Now, have you shown those cupboards what's what? It's good to do something productive but that doesn't require too much concentration to let your mind go elsewhere for a wee while. It's cloudy where I am too but it's been good to work outside when it's not too hot, good to get some fresh air

(Sorry for the late reply, period started yesterday and floored with it!)

Therapist is brilliant - my last session with her is next week so am a bit gutted, she’s absolutely fantastic . Very close friend summed it up yesterday by saying (I) will always remember her as a wonderful person who has done her job and can now be left behind - not easy !

Having spoken to therapist in depth that has settled a lot of the more frantic sort of questioning that was happening last week - which is a huge relief . She said it’s ‘inconceivable incompetence and ethically bankrupt’ - which helps, validated it .

Cupboards … getting there ! I’m living with my mum at the moment, am packing my stuff as I’m moving out in a week - proving very difficult, I’m not great at packing sensibly at all ! - but getting there !!

Shit - name change fail - sorry, will report to MN to get that sorted !! Hope you’re having a good weekend

*week!!

Wow, howdoabit , you've got a lot going on just now.

‘inconceivable incompetence and ethically bankrupt’ - a good way of putting it.

It's a scary thought, when you come to the end of your time with your therapist but look how far you've come. She has held your hand while you've walked the walk and done all the hard work. Hopefully you're feeling calmer and less muddled

I hope your packing goes well and your move, when it comes. Busy times!

I realise this thread is two years old but it’s just in case anyone remembers it, I told the police today. They were lovely and they took me seriously and they believed me. Was done in a safe environment. It’s just in case anyone sees it in the future, with a similar issue - I almost wish I hadn’t waited as long as I did

Well Done.
I am so impressed. I'm not sure I could have done that. You are very brave, hopefully it hasn't happened with anyone else but if it has, then this will certainly help stop it happening again

Well done OP that was very brave.
I hope that you can now start to heal from this horrible experience.

Well done, op. 💐 That was very brave. 👏👏

What are the police going to do?

Massive well done because I can only imagine how hard that must have been. I hope you continue to be treated with kindness and sensitivity.

I'm so glad you reported it.

Tbh I wondered whether he was actually qualified. You know you hear stories about people who work under another person's name? I hope he's now charged - everyone you've spoken to (and everyone here) believes you.

Thank you ❤️ it feels really strange and scary in some ways knowing I’ve told them, but they said they need to take it seriously and they’ll investigate what happened. It’ll be passed onto officers from the area in which it happened and they’ll carry out an investigation. They said it can take a long time. I’m glad I did the report in a rape crisis office and not at home.