How would Jane Austen say ''you're a mean bully you bitch''?

[PearlyBird]

Asking for a friend

You lack the integrity and grace which polite company requires?

You have displayed a total disregard for the fundamentals of appropriate social interaction?

Your mean spirit and manipulative designs are unbecoming of a canine female, still less a woman.

ha ha, you're good at this! I really like these.

If you've any more, keep them coming!

@Palavah I want to be your friend based solely on your third suggestion 🤣

I accept that a woman, as opposed to a lady, must do what she can to survive, but you, Madam, take it beyond all bounds.

Georgette Heyer might say - 'your behaviour is, and I truly hesitate to use such strong language in gentle company but it really must be said; your behaviour is the outside of enough!'

'You must excuse me, I believe the air in here has become a little..... stale.'

I think JA would understate it considerably.

You speak very plainly, ma'am.

Your boldness startles me.

I find you wanting in graciousness.

Hoity toity, miss! Recollect yourself. A lady's conduct to her friends is seen by all.

For shame, that is shabby behaviour indeed.

I can only think you are lost to all sense of propriety and kindness, madam.

@Daisy62 you're goooood!

Elizabeth Bennett and Lady Catherine de Burgh (?) garden scene.

Something like ‘you have offended me by every possible means. I must beg to return to the house’

Badly done Emma, badly done.

“Badly done”

the arguments with which you have supported this extraordinary application have been as frivolous as the application was ill-judged. You have widely mistaken my character, if you think I can be worked on by such persuasions as these. How far your nephew might approve of your interference in his affairs, I cannot tell; but you have certainly no right to concern yourself in mine. I must beg, therefore, to be importuned no farther on the subject.''

``Not so hasty, if you please. I have by no means done. To all the objections I have already urged, I have still another to add. I am no stranger to the particulars of your youngest sister's infamous elopement. I know it all; that the young man's marrying her was a patched-up business, at the expence of your father and uncles. And is such a girl to be my nephew's sister? Is her husband, is the son of his late father's steward, to be his brother? Heaven and earth! -- of what are you thinking? Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?''

You can now have nothing farther to say,'' she resentfully answered. You have insulted me in every possible method. I must beg to return to the house.''

I was coming to says “badly done” but was beaten to it. Only works if the recipient cares what you think. If not, you nothing them. I think.

You think a little too well of yourself.

Or, gloves off…

Your manner is impudent and your conduct excessively stupid.

Badly done Emma, badly done

Isn’t that Knightley? Such a brilliant scene, she really was a genius.

@museumum

Badly done Emma, badly done.

Oof. I can still see/hear Jeremy Northam delivering that line. Cuts to the heart.

OP i like the idea of paraphrasing Jane herself. This is Lizzie to Darcy, for example:

"From the very beginning— from the first moment, I may almost say— of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike. ; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.”

I think the phrase 'most disagreeable' would be good in there somewhere!

It behoves us all to moderate our manners. I feel that on close examination by a person of sense and good taste, your behaviour on this occasion must be found gravely wanting.

@Unsuremover

I was coming to says “badly done” but was beaten to it. Only works if the recipient cares what you think. If not, you nothing them. I think.

I think she does care. She has been quite studiously giving me and just me the silent treatment for over a year and love bombing all others around us. I didn't notice immediately though. I think she sees me as low status, ie, my friendship can't validate her (well that is true) but I annoyed her inadvertently by not knowing my place beneath her. I have done nothing to her besides asking her not to misrepresent me on a certain subject. I did it politely. Since that moment, omg, she has cast me in the role of her enemy which is really tedious but I think she kind of needs an enemy I'd rather not have an enemy to be honest, so I don't want to stoke up her narc injury but at the same time, I definitely don't want to send any signal that could be construed as being a doormat.

Mr Collings, I wasn't sure entirely if you were an actual gentleman.

Well, he's the biggest bitch in the book if you ask me.

There’s a line in the script of The Last of the Mohicans that I always thought was wonderfully cutting:

“You are a man with a few admirable qualities, but taken as a whole I was wrong to have thought so highly of you”

I like the plain speaking approach.

''For shame, you disagreeable behavior lacks kindness''

Head on one side, eyebrows raised “ Pray madam, did you mean to express yourself in such a forthright manner? “

Rings bell for butler/ parlourmaid/ gamekeeper (oops not very JA) “Please ensure Miss Abercrombie’s carriage is brought round immediately. I fear she is sadly indisposed.”

'' did you mean to be so forthright?'' is like the Jane Austen version of Mumsnet's did you mean to be so rude!