The worst food thing that has ever happened.

[Fuckmeupthearseandrogerme]

This is proper gross, much worse than when I ate a crumpet and then looked at the one left in the pack and found it was riddled with mould, in fact it is so awful that I will leave a space so you can choose not to read. If you do read have you ever had anything as awful and if so have you got over it?

I cracked a free range egg into my pan and it had a half formed dead chick in it. Turns out not so dh had left the box in his van for two weeks before putting into fridge, van evidently warm enough to start the process. not envy

Have you had anything worse?

@TheVanguardSix why was the bathroom and kitchen one room? Why did the husband vomit? Why did they make wine in the bath??? I need some air

Shop bought eggs can hatch! In one of those massive 'lockdown activities ideas' groups on Facebook (that I really must leave but then gold like this crops up) they got some eggs from Asda for their broody hens who had no cockerel. Definitely shop bought, you could see the date stamp on them. Anyway, series of photos with them candling the eggs, seeing veins develop etc and then eventually they did have one chick hatch! The non fertilised or 'bad' eggs the chickens kicked out of the hutch. Apparently if the egg is fertilised then as long as it's incubated within something like 10 days from date of fertilisation the chick can develop! My dad tried to argue that all eggs had to be fertilised otherwise they wouldn't produce an egg which I'm pretty sure isn't right but I couldn't quite bear to have a discussion about chicken periods on a family day out to a kiddie farm 😄

No hugely gross stories but I used to work for woman who operated out of her house so her kitchen was free access for staff lunch etc. Oh god she was grim. Had her dog sat up at the table with her and using all the 'people' plates, shared her plate she was using at that moment with the dog abs then carried on eating from it, her bread was frequently absolutely covered in mould and she'd just cut the biggest bits off but munch her way through the smaller bits, sticking her finger in the leftover grease from frying bacon and eating it. Just horrible. She always insisted we could help ourselves to any staples like bread and milk but funnily enough I wasn't keen.

I can't do mould. Have to check any bit of bread for any minute speckle. Spider in tea would be a shock but I don't think would make me sick. Mould or floating white bits of milk in tea however 🤢

This thread is fascinatingly disgusting! 🤢

@SquirryTheSquirrel

A duck's tongue must be minute

Tongues can be disproportionately huge.

Just remembered boiling some broccoli for dinner once and all these little boiled to death caterpillars floating to the surface. God.

I wish I hadn't opened this thread!

I also once found a whole ham on the bone crawling with maggots at work (on the deli counter of a farm shop) The leg had been left sticking slightly out of the counter overnight. Absolute vom.

I can't do mould.

Not an eating story but I remember the time we went on holiday (in the height of summer) for a fortnight and forgot to deal with the in-progress loaf of bread before we left. That was a nice thing to come home to!

My parents had a chest freezer in their garage which they rarely used (they're hoarders - whole other story). Something went wrong with it and it stopped working - by the time they realised, it was full of rotting goodness-knows-what that had been decades old to start with ...

@SquirryTheSquirrel

Mine is tame compared to these but anyway ...

Years ago I stumbled blearily into the kitchen with a massive hangover and thought I'd make myself a cheese sandwich - didn't bother with any refinements such as plate or breadboard, just slapped the sliced bread down on the surface and made up the sandwich.

Took a bite out of it and tasted something salty - looked, and there were lumps of (wet) cat food embedded in the underneath of the sandwich. I'd obviously drunkenly fed the cat the previous night and left bits of cat food lying about on the work surface.

I nearly heaved but chucked the cat food sarnie in the bin and made myself a replacement, this time on a plate!

I will add that this was about 25 years ago and my housekeeping though hardly fastidious has improved somewhat. And my present cats eat dry food.

I don’t know why this made me laugh so much, but it did. I think it’s this bit:

my housekeeping though hardly fastidious has improved somewhat

I have two.

Peeled back the lid of a yoghurt when I was a child and discarded it to the side of me without paying much notice. Started eating the yoghurt but there were lumps and crunchy bits. Stopped eating it and reached over to pick the lid up to throw it all away together and there was the most massive thick black spider squashed onto the inside of the lid...so I assume the crunchy bits in the pot had been bits of spider.

Second one - A few months ago, i boiled broccoli and there were about ten cooked caterpillars floating in the water when done 🤢

If you like broccoli DO NOT READ ON.

I've never checked brocoli particularly thoroughly before. But since the caterpillar incident, I've fastidiously checked every brocoli I've bought. I've bought three since, from different shops. EVERY SINGLE ONE has had at least one caterpillar in it. They really hide, they're really difficult to find and you have to chop the brocoli into really small pieces...but they're there. Research I've done since tells me this is really common and most people cook and eat them regularly, without ever realising 🤢🤢🤢

Can't even look at broccoli now and it used to be my favourite.

@BrilloPaddy

I once ate a plum, thinking it was a little chewy. Then looked down, and found half a maggot sat in it. Presumably I ate the rest of it...... I felt sick for days afterwards.

I now have to cut them open with a sharp knife and inspect carefully before eating.

The exact same here, took a chunk out of my plum and the maggot's head was just there wiggling at me

Not quite the same thing but when we were younger my brother came home drunk looking for something to eat, found a plate of pate in the fridge so had toast and pate before stumbling to bed...

Next morning mum came down and asked where the plate of raw sausage meat had gone that she was planning to use for sausage rolls 😂 not the worst thing my brother's eaten when drunk, obviously has guts of steel

Organic broccoli is usually alive with caterpillars and/or weevils in my experience. Just one of the reason why I never buy organic.

In Spain, on holidays during the 80s, as a kid, I would regularly buy nutty chocolate that had caterpillars and/or maggots in the nuts. You’d snap off a few squares and y esta es! Still alive as well. Impressive endurance work by the creepy crawlies. I doubt that that is still the case in an era of high food standards!

Oh god, now I'm gonna have to soak broccoli in salt water like my mum used to do with cauliflower (always produced a caterpillar or 2). And DD loves the stuff.

I bought some mangetout earlier and went to put it in a stir fry for dinner, but decided against it when I remembered my DD's experience a few weeks ago. She picked up a steamed mangetout and opened it up to eat the tiny peas out of it before eating the whole thing (an odd way of eating them but just what she does ... thank god, as it turned out), to be presented with some sort of grub, essentially a dark grey maggot inside.

now I'm gonna have to soak broccoli in salt water like my mum used to do with cauliflower (always produced a caterpillar or 2)

I was about to suggest this.

Talking of the Donner party, I think I'd be trying duck tongues before resorting to cannibalism.

Oh I have another one which I must have buried in my mind. Few year ago we had a number of friends for dinner. I had made a chicken dish. I took all the plates out and without thinking picked up a piece of chicken to eat it. Straight away it felt cold and weird and then I realised it was one of my guests chewed chicken! I really need to double check when I eat!

About 30 years ago
I made moussaka with mince from the local butchers. I found half an eyelid complete with eyelashes in my serving.

It was many many months before I cooked or ate mince again.

More recently I boiled eggs for breakfast. Cracked mine open to find a cooked green rotting egg took me even longer to eat a boiled egg again.

One incident was this week, I bit into a bacon roll and discovered a mutilated dead moth that had been baked into the roll. I didn't eat the moth but I'll not eat store bought bread again.

The absolute worst was sleeping over my friends house when I was 8 and waking up with serious thirst, her Mam always had the heating on so it was tropical in there. I went downstairs in the dark and grabbed an open can from the kitchen counter because it felt full, had a good glug and my mouth filled with dregs of coke, ashy liquid and fag butts. I threw up in the toilet and went to bed with a foul taste and thirstier than ever

An earwig scuttled out of a steak I cut into. Actually out of it.

Years ago I lived and worked on a Caribbean island. Me and some friends I'd met there went for a meal one night and had the most delicious, melt in the middle chocolate pudding. I also had a bf out there and I suggested we go to the same restaurant so I could have another of the delicious chocolate puddings. My then bf had very limited sense of taste due to an accident when he was younger, he could taste sweet, sour and spicy but that was about it. Anyway, he decided to have a delicious chocolate pudding too. Half way through he asked if it was supposed to be crunchy, it wasn't. We checked and in the middle of his pudding was half a cockroach...

A big bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk and I bit into something chewy. I pulled it out if my mouth and it unravelled into what appeared into a long piece of string.
Sent it off to cadburys for investigation and they wrote back. Although they were unable to trace the source, it appeared to be a piece of string from a mop
I got a £5 voucher for my inconvenience. It's still in the drawer.

Green caterpillar in my green salad but managed not to eat it. Manager was mortified. I thought it was funny

Maggots on dried figs, I gave birth to dd1 hours later due to the shock. That was nearly 12 years ago.

@notangelinajolie I do feel that you were hugely short changed there. I complained to Cadburys once because my giant buttons were one solid bar in the bag and they sent me £8 in vouchers!

A large black fly baked into my Montezuma chocolate bat.

Making a tofu scramble (vegan) and poured sonething (herbs or seeds) into frying pan st the end - turned out to be moth larvae and not small in volume. Gagged at the wriggling.

Caterpillars etc in my organic veg box. Always careful with broccoli but now I feel gross so might try the saltwater thing. How long do you soak it for? Often use tenderstem as less dense so easier to check!

@Historyfan

I was once visiting an then boyfriend (not in my home town)

I was starving so headed over to the takeaway over the road-ordered my curry and went back to his to scoff it alone

Only it was foul-rubbery and salty so ate quite a bit as I was staving but then gave up and binned it

It all came out about 3 weeks later that it wasn’t beef in the curry

It was German Shepard meat-health control found half of its body in the freezer and shut down the takeaway

I remember feeling so sick when I found out

That story's been going around Edinburgh for years

Speaking of chocolate

Got a bar of chocolate out of a vending machine

Took a bite, went for another and noticed legs.

Yep. Spider cooked right into the chocolate bar. Got vouchers for that one

I found a large bumble bee in a tin of HEINZ baked beans once, and also a few years ago, I found a long piece,of what looked like a bristle off a large sweeping brush. in a tin of vegetable soup.

A neighbour was cutting up a cauliflower. and quickly washed it in a bowl of water, and several tiny little scorpion type creatures came out of it. and were swimming around in the water.