How much do you spend on your adult children's birthday/Christmas

[SnickettyLemon]

Further to a previous thread where a child had expectations of how much should be spent on a birthday gift. I know many people think nothing of spending £100s on their offspring for these events. I am sure by the time I got to 18, my parents probably spent the equivalent of £25 tops. Some of my similar age friends tell me their parents still buy them huge gifts. At what age should they realise that as adults they should not have such high expectations?

£50 absolute tops.

I just had a big birthday and my parents gave me a £50 voucher for something that I like doing.

Previously (sporadically once I became an adult) they would take me to the jewellers to pick something in my dad’s home country. Had we been there as planned they would have this year. Not sure how much it would have been but they previously purchased bangles or earrings so I assume within their budget.

I don’t expect gifts anymore though. They also hosted a BBQ for me where they provided all of the food.

Birthday around £50
Christmas a little bit more say £75 But I do buy stuff from October ish and pop in a drawer so hard to tell ...one main gift the rest little bits in a stocking

I would still expect to spend a couple of hundred at least, like I do now. But my oldest is 13 so maybe my views will change by the time they’re adults!

I remember my exh used to a card with twenty quid in it from his parents and I always thought that was really tight of them, Esperanto they weren’t short of money.

Thank you for responses. Some years ago I had a birthday a day after a similar aged colleague ( both late 30s) She said her mum had bought her a new bed and bedding set- not moving house or anything. I thought she would think my DM was a bit tight for buying me a dressing gown and smellies.

It’s really variable, I think. Not everyone reduces how much they spend. I don’t have parents but I have friends who get a few token gifts, and friends that get loads.

DH is an only child and his parents would happily spend £200 or so on him for any occasion. They like to very generous with me; too. They have good pensions & live well and like to spoil him. It makes me really uncomfortable, but it’s totally normal for them.

Well I’m 35 and I have one older and one younger sibling, our mum spends £100 on our birthdays and Christmas presents - I know this because she always says to us “you can choose whatever you want up to £100.” We have pointed out that we’re all adults and all buy our own things so don’t need anything, she usually ends up giving us vouchers!
My eldest child is 17 and I don’t see myself reducing what I spend on her in the near future. I don’t really know how much I spend on them though, I ask all my dc to write a list of things they might like (it’s a letter to Father Christmas which gets chucked up the chimney for the benefit of the youngest ) and then I get what I think is the right amount of things using the list and then going off list for some surprises too.
Their stockings have always been madly extravagant, maybe when they’re older I’ll keep the stockings and then just one or two main presents under the tree.
I don’t know really, I’m not at that point in my life yet so will be watching this thread with interest.

My parents give generous presents. Often practical though, like a new hoover or some new saucepans. They are retired with a massive disposable income living in my childhood home in the London Suburbs which has exploded in value since they bought it... and just want to make things easier for us.

The PIL send £20 in a card for birthday, and we get maybe £25 of present at Christmas. When my mum was capable, I'd guess at £100ish, when dad took over it was £30

A few hundred in a card for both birthdays and Christmas from my parents and in laws. The norm in our circles I’d say, with the odd car/holiday thrown in now and again.

There are 4 of us aged from 19-28. Once we get to 21 it is about £50 for birthday, and £100 max for Christmas. DH on the other hand, MIL spends about £300 on her adult children for birthdays, and £300-£500 for Christmas. It's so bizarre to watch my SILs send her their present lists (yes, these are all grown women!!!) and the. open their presents on Christmas Day. She isn't as generous with the ILs (or grandchildren...) but honestly I think I'd feel a bit weird about it if she was!

Depends, doesn’t it? My parents spend around £250 on us (all in our 30s), my husband’s parents about £100. We’re grateful either way, and I would also be happy for them to say they weren’t doing presents at all going forward. It’s up to them how they want to spend their money, we just show our appreciation for what they give.

We will spend more on ours than we got, even as adults they will remain our children amd I like to treat them.

Have grown up children in their early twenties, spend around £250 each birthdays and more at Christmas.

@SnickettyLemon

Further to a previous thread where a child had expectations of how much should be spent on a birthday gift. I know many people think nothing of spending £100s on their offspring for these events. I am sure by the time I got to 18, my parents probably spent the equivalent of £25 tops. Some of my similar age friends tell me their parents still buy them huge gifts. At what age should they realise that as adults they should not have such high expectations?

My daughter is saving for her own place so I will be buying bits she needs when she moves. She's asked for some kitchen gadgets which I'll get her for Xmas. I'll then get her accessories for another room for her birthday in January

I spend about £100 -£150 on each normally. I may reduce that a bit this year though as they're both working now and have more disposable income than I do!

I’m budgeting about £100 in cash forDSS for Xmas, then probably 50-100 in presents.. he’s 19.
We have little ones and Santa brings presents

My dad is really into Christmas. He spends a couple of hundred on me and my sister (both adults) and always asks us to send lists with ideas.

He's definitely not into birthdays in the same way and as adults we often don't get a card!

My DD was 20 recently. My DH said we should only spend about £100 now. So I said you spend £100, and I will spend another £100. So we spent about £200 on her main present , hubbie then bought her 2 pairs of shoes the next week, which totalled about another £250. He only spends about £25 on his oldest DD who has her own family.

13-19. Older 2 £250 each and bits to open.

Youngest, no idea yet but same amount.

I don’t buy anyone else. Absolutely no one.

@SnickettyLemon

My DD was 20 recently. My DH said we should only spend about £100 now. So I said you spend £100, and I will spend another £100. So we spent about £200 on her main present , hubbie then bought her 2 pairs of shoes the next week, which totalled about another £250. He only spends about £25 on his oldest DD who has her own family.

How hurtful for his older DD. Unless he spent the same on her at 20 and plans to drastically reduce what he gives the younger one at the same age he did with the older DD.

@IWantT0BreakFree.
I think that is his reasoning, to spend much less now she is older, in line with his eldest DD. However she is my only child and I still want to spend more on her.

Birthdays they get £50 cash into their banks and a wee something to open.

Christmas £100 cash into their banks and stockings. DS wife gets the same.

Depends. Some years a lot if there's something specific going on. Other years more token gifts. One year it was a cottage holiday for me and my husband; the next year it was a card, some socks and a pair of PJs. Honestly just depends.

I get £200 cash for my birthday each year, I'm 34 but an only child. Xmas I'm not too sure how much they spend. We exchange a couple of gifts but it's more about my son now as it should be