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Original poster

Anyone getting grumpier as they get older? Why does it happen?

46 replies

GinJeanie · 20/08/2021 09:46

I'm getting grumpier and less tolerant as I age. Think Victor Meldrew. I find myself having to keep my thoughts to myself constantly as everything irritates me and I'm sure it's far worse than when I was younger. A friend agrees this is a thing and says she thinks it's because we've been on the planet longer so are more worn-down by it.
It's quite draining though. As is making sure I don't share/verbalise my annoyance. So many things bug me (but too intensely I think). Middle lane hoggers on the motorway, waiting for people to come through doors and them ignoring/not saying thank you, rubbish parking, litter, endless puppies everywhere, noisy neighbours etc etc. I was so cross on holiday because somewhere I've been lots in the past had a half-empty car park because everyone has started parking on the beach (it used to be a few vans/overflow on beach). Obviously, I didn't voice this but I felt like a grump.
Anyone else feel like this? I feel like it's one of the less desirable aspects of aging and I didn't think it would happen to me... ps I know it could be menopause as am in my 50s!

OP posts:
Thetepidstepper · 20/08/2021 09:49

Probably is menopause. I got positively ragey until I started on hrt.

I still roll my eyes more than I used to when younger and am less patient but I don't hate everyone and everything and am generally less bothered. I also am more able to focus on things I enjoy which is pretty fucking crucial in terms of life quality. Have a chat with your GP.

DramaAlpaca · 20/08/2021 09:51

Definitely menopause. It does come with a good side though, a bit of extra assertiveness which is always a good thing.

Original poster
GinJeanie · 20/08/2021 09:52

@Thetepidstepper - thanks for your reply. I am on HRT, you should have met me before 🤣

OP posts:

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PalmarisLongus · 20/08/2021 09:52

I'm like this at 42... 😁

My issue is that I remember the world of 30 years ago and it seemed so much more considerate than it is now. People back then thought of others far more I think.

So waiting for people to come through doors and them ignoring/not saying thank you, that wouldn't happen because mum would clip my ears and everyone had manners.

rubbish parking, wouldn't happen as people would think 'i won't park here as it's blocking other people'

litter, was less as people would use bins and think 'if o drop it, someone will have to pick it up'

endless puppies everywhere, I have neighbours that let their dogs bark endlessly, this wouldn't have happened years ago as the owner would have stopped it disturbing neighbours.

noisy neighbour, wouldn't have happened as they'd not want to disturb other people.

So on and so on.

Maybe my memory is not so good and I'm wearing rosé tinted glasses, but these days, a lot of people don't think of others at all and just do what they like.
My mum would beat them all with her shoe of she could.

peridito · 20/08/2021 09:53

Fatigue ,decreased stamina. Inability to "push Through" and finish a physically demanding project .

Original poster
GinJeanie · 20/08/2021 09:53

@DramaAlpaca - I agree about the assertiveness. I now care a lot less what others think of me which I love...

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 20/08/2021 09:57

Yes I'm grumpier the older I get, menopausal too.

Lanique · 20/08/2021 10:01

Me too. I stand for a lot less bullshit and am far less apologetic and people-pleasing these days. I have much more of a 'take me as you find me or get stuffed' approach these days. I was really fucking annoying about fifteen years ago, it was around the time that I started doing the nursery / school run, and I was so anxious about seeming lovely and friendly and used to tear myself into pieces worrying about how I might come across. Fuck that.

Lanique · 20/08/2021 10:02
Grin
Lanique · 20/08/2021 10:03

I have spoken to my doctor about having HRT which I'm hoping she'll let me have soon. Because while I quite like this new belligerent me, I'm not sure how easy I am to live with!

MyFloorIsLava · 20/08/2021 10:07

My issue is that I remember the world of 30 years ago and it seemed so much more considerate than it is now. People back then thought of others far more I think.

I don't recognise this at all. I grew up in NI in the 80s. Violence and death everywhere. Violence local to me - the street bullies tried to set me on fire, punched me in the face just for 'looking at' them. Everyone smoked everywhere and if you were ill or asthmatic, tough shit. Racism, sexism, homophones, rife and unchallenged. Sexually assaulted walking down the street. Litter everywhere. Horrible times.

HaroldMeeker · 20/08/2021 10:10

In my case, I'm older (53), tired and in no way inclined to put up with anyone else's shit. I don't give a stuff what people think of me, and although I don't go looking for fights, I won't allow others to walk over me either. I've become an expert in blowing off the annoying, blocking the irritating and so-whating the whining.
Its absolutely fan fecking tastic.

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/08/2021 10:12

Opposite for me.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 20/08/2021 10:16

I used to be a total doormat. A people pleaser, desperate for everyone to like me. My number one priority was that other people were happy and I was always bottom of the pile.

As I've got older and I've gone through so many things and been shat on from great heights I've just run out of fucks to give. It's become less and less important what others think and whether they like me. God knows I never get a tenth of the consideration back that I've given out so why should I care about people who happily chuck me under a bus given half a chance?

I've spent over 20 years fighting for my kids (they're disabled), gone through financial shit like you wouldn't believe, marriage crap, unfairness, bullshit sob stories, etc etc and I've just stopped caring I think. I've grown tired of other people's bollocks because I've seen it and been chucked head first into it too many times. Now, people can just go fuck themselves because I'm done.

Grumpy doesn't go nearly far enough 🤣

Brimorion · 20/08/2021 10:17

I think in my case it’s having finally thrown off the gendered socialisation hammered into me by my upbringing (be nice, don’t challenge men, expect nothing, defer to other people etc), and being entirely justifiably angry about continuing issues surrounding women’s rights. I mean, leaving aside Afghanistan, anyone reading Caroline Criado Perez’s Invisible Women will find plenty of reasons to be wholly justifiably angry. Or, judging by some recent threads here, being a woman going for a run, or a fat woman standing in a queue.

reprehensibleme · 20/08/2021 10:17

There is so much utter bullshit around - little common sense, so many people are well aware (or think they are) of their rights but accept no responsibilites. That's the stuff that makes me cross. As I age I'm increasingly cross about minor stuff and less cross about major stuff Grin

topcat2014 · 20/08/2021 10:18

I watch less news and just deal with stuff in my control.

DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat · 20/08/2021 10:20

I was born grumpy. Difference is now I don’t care who knows it.

WibbleyPie · 20/08/2021 10:22

@PalmarisLongus

I'm like this at 42... 😁

My issue is that I remember the world of 30 years ago and it seemed so much more considerate than it is now. People back then thought of others far more I think.

So waiting for people to come through doors and them ignoring/not saying thank you, that wouldn't happen because mum would clip my ears and everyone had manners.

rubbish parking, wouldn't happen as people would think 'i won't park here as it's blocking other people'

litter, was less as people would use bins and think 'if o drop it, someone will have to pick it up'

endless puppies everywhere, I have neighbours that let their dogs bark endlessly, this wouldn't have happened years ago as the owner would have stopped it disturbing neighbours.

noisy neighbour, wouldn't have happened as they'd not want to disturb other people.

So on and so on.

Maybe my memory is not so good and I'm wearing rosé tinted glasses, but these days, a lot of people don't think of others at all and just do what they like.
My mum would beat them all with her shoe of she could.

Same age and feel like this too.

I'm quite often almost bewildered by others behaviour when it's (to me) selfish with so regard for anyone or anything else, because although I can imagine doing something entitled, because I'm not perfect, if I realised I'd inconvenienced/upset/ affected someone else I'd be changing it and apologising, not shouting the odds about my 'rights' or whatever.

Sometimes I'm really saddened and sometimes I'm really mad - I guess that part at least, is probably the peri menopause!

Ponkypig282 · 20/08/2021 10:23

Lanique I could have written your post. I'm 40 and I'm just not the same people-pleasing arse licker that I was 15 years ago or even 5 years ago!

WibbleyPie · 20/08/2021 10:25

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

I used to be a total doormat. A people pleaser, desperate for everyone to like me. My number one priority was that other people were happy and I was always bottom of the pile.

As I've got older and I've gone through so many things and been shat on from great heights I've just run out of fucks to give. It's become less and less important what others think and whether they like me. God knows I never get a tenth of the consideration back that I've given out so why should I care about people who happily chuck me under a bus given half a chance?

I've spent over 20 years fighting for my kids (they're disabled), gone through financial shit like you wouldn't believe, marriage crap, unfairness, bullshit sob stories, etc etc and I've just stopped caring I think. I've grown tired of other people's bollocks because I've seen it and been chucked head first into it too many times. Now, people can just go fuck themselves because I'm done.

Grumpy doesn't go nearly far enough 🤣

And ^this^^ is a point I'm so looking forward to reaching soon!
PalmarisLongus · 20/08/2021 10:25

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

God knows I never get a tenth of the consideration back that I've given out so why should I care about people who happily chuck me under a bus given half a chance?

This stung me so badly. Too many times have I been there to help only to need help and finding no one. I stopped helping everyone but daughter.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 20/08/2021 10:26

I was just saying to DH last night that I used to attribute my grumpiness to hormones. However I'm now a great dose of HRT that makes me feel marvellous. It turns out that there's just so very much bullshit everywhere and I can no longer be arsed to pretend that there isn't.

FreeBritnee · 20/08/2021 10:29

This is where the Karen meme came from. Middle aged women who no longer want to tolerate shit, speaking up and getting criticised for it. I think it’s definitely ‘a thing’. Probably a combination of being alive long enough to have thrown away the rose-coloured specs, plus hormones, plus overcrowded areas and remembering how things used to be. Feeling invisible and unimportant maybe battling some health issues too which always makes me feel more irritated.

Hesperatum · 20/08/2021 10:46

GinJeanie - this is me to a T