Anyone getting grumpier as they get older? Why does it happen?

[GinJeanie]

I'm getting grumpier and less tolerant as I age. Think Victor Meldrew. I find myself having to keep my thoughts to myself constantly as everything irritates me and I'm sure it's far worse than when I was younger. A friend agrees this is a thing and says she thinks it's because we've been on the planet longer so are more worn-down by it.
It's quite draining though. As is making sure I don't share/verbalise my annoyance. So many things bug me (but too intensely I think). Middle lane hoggers on the motorway, waiting for people to come through doors and them ignoring/not saying thank you, rubbish parking, litter, endless puppies everywhere, noisy neighbours etc etc. I was so cross on holiday because somewhere I've been lots in the past had a half-empty car park because everyone has started parking on the beach (it used to be a few vans/overflow on beach). Obviously, I didn't voice this but I felt like a grump.
Anyone else feel like this? I feel like it's one of the less desirable aspects of aging and I didn't think it would happen to me... ps I know it could be menopause as am in my 50s!

You need to give less fucks.

Try this:

www.goodreads.com/book/show/28257707-the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-f-ck

Definitely. Staring 50 in the face and I simply cannot be arsed with any of it. Do your own thing, don't involve me, I don't need to hear about it and leave me the fuck alone seem to be my most common mutterings to myself.

Me.
Grumpy as heck.
And getting grumpier by the week.
It's not me though; it's just that people are getting more annoying

Yep definitely - me too.

I'm sure there is a hormonal element (just turned 50).

But also, I don't care if people don't like me now. I'm a good, kind person and if people can't see that well that's their loss. And if I see bullshit/injustice/sexism I will often choose to call it out because I'm done with it.

For me personally, honestly, I am struggling to keep up with the changes in society. I’ve given up on relationships because modern dating (and what men want in bed nowadays!) isn’t for me. All this “influencer” stuff online, you tube “stars” etc, it absolutely baffles me! Why do people care what they are doing? I haven’t heard of any of them, other than Mrs Hinch and only from on here! People announcing their gender also baffles me! I read today they are re-releasing “its raining men” as “it’s raining them” I won’t lie, I rolled my eyes so hard! I also don’t like the fact that young women are feeling the need for things like Botox, fillers etc. We’re becoming more image obsessed than ever and it saddens me. Jessica Rabbit was a cartoon figure in the 80’s but it’s now a look to be aspired to!

Of course it is natural that society evolves over time. I understand now why older people in my youth said “it wasn’t like this in my day”. But I feel I am falling further and further behind. Not that I particularly want to keep up! I’m only early 50s now so I dread to think how I’ll be in 20 years time! So for me it’s not about being grumpy about things that didn’t bother me before. It’s everything “new”.

Oddly enough, I'm getting more tolerant as I get older. There are only a few big issues that make me crabby; I just let the petty stuff go.

I speak up for myself a lot more now. I do get grumpy. I am tolerant and intolerant! I tut at people that want everyone to hear their 'music' or phone conversation. Loud conversations (especially yelling in my ear as they go past. Queue jumpers give me the rage.

I am trying hard not to turn into my intolerant Aunt but it is hard!!!

I heard it referred to as oldbastarditis and I think that pretty much sums it up.
I'm 41 and although not old,old
I feel like I cba and I'm becoming more selfish with age I think and less tolerant of bullshit

I do feel (48) as though the world is constantly bombarding me with messages about what I should do and think, desperately trying to recruit you to their 'cause', whether it be environmentalism, veganism, lectures on micro aggression, sexist / racist language, unconscious bias etc. Plus the obligation to eat our 5 a day, practise mindfulness and 'live our best life' and be mindful of others in our community.

Plus we're bombarded with issues over which we have no control (Afghanistan, North Korea etc). And COVID really brought out the puritanical curtain twitchers and behaviour police.

Honestly, you try to be the best person you can, but sometimes the temptation to tell the world to just 'get fucked' is too strong.

Menopause and running out of shits to give.

2 reasons for me:-

1). As you get older your bullshit filter becomes very finely tuned to the point where it can detect bullshit like a shark sniffing out a drop of blood. You tolerate rudeness and bollocks etc much more when you are young, when you are older you have zero tolerance of this utter nonsense.
2) The modern world has advanced in technology but unfortunately it means we are constantly drip fed (in some cases the drip is full on flush rather than 30 drops per min) more and more shite to the point you want to rip your own brain out through your ear.
Recent examples.. I don't need to know how and when to put my bins out by BOTH being given a perfectly self explanatory leaflet and also being bombarded to sign up and subscribe to 'the latest bin information' every fucking week.
Also, if I am having a delivery, I don't need ten extra emails about it telling me they have received my order, the order is being processed, the order is being boxed up, the order has left the factory, the order is half way down the M6, the order is nearly with me and the name and fucking hobbies of the person delivering it.
Customer service, don't tell me to have a nice fucking day at the end of a call when you have been bloody useless at sorting out the problem and have offered no apology for my bad service.
3) Stupidity is on the increase, the main one being that people cannot seem to walk, ride a bike or a horse and look where they are going at the same time. No, they are usually engrossed in a mob phone. The option to stop and look at said phone does not occur to them. End result is Shadypines being close to severe injury.

I have plenty more but I need to calm down. Thanks for the thread OP.

litter, was less as people would use bins and think 'if o drop it, someone will have to pick it up

No they didn’t, at least not in the city where I grew up. There was always litter. Loads of broken glass about as well, because there were fewer plastic bottles in the 70s. Dogshit all over the place because literally no one bagged it. You couldn’t even buy the bags. Considerate people kicked it in gutters with a stick.

Oh I so so so relate to this entire thread and everybody on it.

I'm much less tolerant but I think successive generations are becoming more entitled and rude.

Im sick of young men in particular playing loud gangsta rap thinking that they are like that. They need to go to Compton and find out. Im sick of constant attention seeking behaviour. No one least of all me, is interested in their small problems when we are all working so hard in the middle of a pandemic. I'm sick of people not being conscious that we share our space with others.

@MintyGreenDream - I love it! Oldbastarditis. That's me 🤣😂🤣

What annoys me is it's little quite petty things which upset me - I feel like I'm pretending to be outwardly chilled and tolerant (even to my family) but inside I'm constantly judging others and feeling extremely intolerant. Am so glad people can't read my thoughts! 😳
I want to be angry about the big things in the world like racism, the plight of Afghan people, climate change (I do not want to be that woman tutting because the Boden mummy has declared "good ball skills Milo" when her son kicks a ball at our dog).
I don't believe in a "golden age". People weren't nicer in the past and racist/sexist/disablist/homophobic views were aired more openly in society (there WAS also litter and dog poo everywhere). However, scratch the surface and those views are still there (as the anonymity of the internet shows us). There are more people now, much more traffic on the road and I guess social media makes it feel like people are more in each other's faces.

Thank you for your musings and for helping me feeling like this is normal (for some people at least) . I know my DH tries hard not to be a grumpy old man too. I'm starting to see where this cliche comes from and will continue to check myself. May take up boxing or plate smashing to unleash the rage though...

Lol at endless puppies 🤣 I need cuteness in my life dammit. I have no puppies if my own but am very happy to admire puppies owned by others

@Rockbird

Definitely. Staring 50 in the face and I simply cannot be arsed with any of it. Do your own thing, don't involve me, I don't need to hear about it and leave me the fuck alone seem to be my most common mutterings to myself.

Yes, yes, yes! I agree with every word of this!

@PalmarisLongus me too. Never go out of my way to help people unless they are very very good long term friends or immediate family.

Have been stung too many times by selfish, inconsiderate, ungrateful people.

I feel the same as you op. I’m not sure if it’s age or lockdown/coronavirus restrictions, I just don’t feel the same as I did a 18 months ago. I seem to have lost my filter 😬, I used to be such a people pleaser.

I’m 45, neither menopausal nor grumpy, but more accepting of what does and doesn’t enhance my life and less likely to pretend I’m happy about things when I am not as I am more confident in my own opinions.