Have you deferred your child starting Reception class?

[Fucshiaflipflops]

I’ve another thread on here explains my situation. Posting on this section now for any replies really. Daughter really upset lately, refusing to go nursery so we’ve stopped. As she wouldn’t leave the house, throwing herself on the floor.
Now refusing to go to school in September getting herself very worked up; hysterical crying, panicking etc.... obviously not talking about it now. Have uniform all ready but not shown her yet.
It has been mentioned maybe she’s just not ready (summer baby)
I’ve spoken to HV, nursery they see proceed with things in September and friends say defer place. I’m unsure what to do, just waiting for school to reopen so I can talk to them.
Just interested to find out if you’ve deferred your child starting in September and if this is common practice.

Thank you

All the people I know who have had Summer borns which they defected have not regretted it. They all deferred because their children were not ready emotionally and the extra year really helped. I’ve taught an increasing amount out of year group and they always seem the right ‘fit’ in the younger class. I don’t think it is yet common practice but it is more common than it used to be and almost always done to give the child an extra year to mature socially and emotionally.

I did think about it, my daughter is an august birthday, she used to get so upset going to nursery but that didn’t meant she could stop going, we both found it tough. She did start when she was meant to and the school supported us really well. I say with her and read for a good six months at drop off each day and then covid stuck, we weren’t allowed in the classrooms and she coped really well. I’m really pleased we didn’t delay her starting as academically and socially she is thriving, it was just a bumpy start! Hope you manage to make a decision.

I have two summer born children and didn't defer no matter how much they didn't want to start school. Wouldn't your child go straight into year 1 if deferred? I would start school in September, don't want your child missing out on the reception year where it's play based learning. Year 1 will be more a lot harder to start imo.

I'm someone who commented on the other thread because we have deferred our 31st august son.
Aside from the emotional side of things how do you think your child would fit in other wise? These are the factors we took into account when deciding on whether or not to hold him back:
-he has a slightly speech delay due to glue ear as a toddler, he can talk but a lot of things are still mispronounced and he is often difficult to understand, speech therapy said he wasn't bad enough to need treatment but the school agreed he would struggle to be understood in a loud classroom environment but other children and the teacher.
-he still struggles to dress himself, still often needs help to clean up after going to the toilet.

Emotionally he's probably in a place where he would have been fine at school, he thrives socially and makes friends easily, but those issues and his age we decided to hold him back. Someone mentioned the child having to go into year 8 once starting secondary school, we were told this too but it depends on school and area, I checked and here that's not the case.

We have an older summer born who is now going into year 2, even though he is one of the youngest he is ahead of the curve academically and is extremely bright, we would never have considered deferring him as we knew he was ready for school, but his brother is a completely different story!

The school is notoriously known for not allowing pupils to defer places and have know many people from pre school who had tried to and weren't allowed so changed the school so they could defer their child, so the fact that the school did multiple assessments of him and agreed that he wasn't in a place to start cemented our decision!

From what I remember of ds1 starting school there were quite a few kids who were very emotional for a long time going into school, lots of crying and and parents agonising saying they were refusing to go etc, that all resolved very quickly and those children turned into very happy members of the class very quickly!

I've not, but I had a friend who did and she is so glad. Ultimately her child got a whole extra year of early education so at every stage they had that advantage over the rest of the group.

If you can do it, it is brilliant to give your child that bonus year I think.

The fear is that when your child gets to secondary and they're put into the right age year group, your child could well miss out Year 7 completely and have to go to Year 8. That fills me with fear: level of academic, opportunity to start a fresh and make friends and self-confidence. I have two summer babies and have looked into this. My oldest was born in January and really he's the most immature out of my three. As a teacher, it really does even out and I rarely look at the kid's dates in response to maturity and ability.

I also offer a word of advice if I may: as an early years teacher, I have seen kids being dragged in by their parents, parents all upset and teary and once parents have left, five minutes later, child is back to normal but the poor parents are crushed. As a teacher, I always ring the parents back to say all is fine. You need to set the expectations and stick with it ie were off to school and all will be fine.

Will you home educate? If not, surely if not at school she will need to be in nursery to develop some sort of independence and for the social development and learning which takes place there, so she doesn't fall behind. So that doesn't solve the problem, she doesn't want to go to nursery either.

If you don't send her anywhere for another year, its going to be even more difficult next year I would have thought. Also interesting that the nursery think she is ready for school, have you had a sit down with them to find out their take on her school readiness and any explanation for her current behaviour?

We have deferred our late August 2017 son so he won’t start reception until Sept 22. Academically he is probably ready, he’s a very sociable and aware little boy so again would probably be ok but we wanted more than probably and ok - we want him to thrive. Additionally he’s exhausted after 3 days at preschool and an emotional wreck so who knows what he would be like after 5 days!
We also thought about his entire time at school. Reception isn’t really the concern it’s the rest of his time at school as the academia ramps up inc sitting GCSEs at 15.
There is lots of mis-information out there regarding the deferral of summer borns like they have to go straight into yr 1 or would miss a year of secondary school. My advice would be to join the Flexible School Admissions for Summer Born Children group on Facebook where there is a plethora of excellent advice and information.

fall behind

This is a common phrase, but kids who go later dont fall behind, they get extra. Particularly by a-levels that extra year of schooling and maturity, if possible, is a huge advantage.

Yes I've done this. My 5uo is starting in September. Honestly he is so much more emotionally and physically prepared for school.

No LD. just a young summer born.

I'm so happy with my decision.

Daughter really upset lately, refusing to go nursery so we’ve stopped. As she wouldn’t leave the house, throwing herself on the floor.

Stepping back from the school deferral for a moment. Was she happy to go to nursery in the past, and is there anything that may have caused this sudden upset behaviour?

Maybe we should just change the cut off date to June so all the summer borns are older for the year…
(I am an august born myself- someone has to be the youngest!)

I deferred, he’s smart but was not emotionally ready. He was given an extra year of nursery funding and started the following year. The general rule is if in doubt defer. No one I speak about it to has ever said they wish they hadn’t, only that they wish they had.

@mamaisme

We have deferred our late August 2017 son so he won’t start reception until Sept 22. Academically he is probably ready, he’s a very sociable and aware little boy so again would probably be ok but we wanted more than probably and ok - we want him to thrive. Additionally he’s exhausted after 3 days at preschool and an emotional wreck so who knows what he would be like after 5 days! We also thought about his entire time at school. Reception isn’t really the concern it’s the rest of his time at school as the academia ramps up inc sitting GCSEs at 15. There is lots of mis-information out there regarding the deferral of summer borns like they have to go straight into yr 1 or would miss a year of secondary school. My advice would be to join the Flexible School Admissions for Summer Born Children group on Facebook where there is a plethora of excellent advice and information.

This is excellent advice and the point about thriving and not coping is one to really consider.

You need to be absolutely certain that in your area they will:

1. Put them into reception and not year 1
2. Not require a skipped year (either straight into year 4 or straight into year 8); plus
3. Your child isn’t likely resent the fact that they can’t do any competitive team sports with their classmates where the rules require age bandings

@lannistunut

fall behind

This is a common phrase, but kids who go later dont fall behind, they get extra. Particularly by a-levels that extra year of schooling and maturity, if possible, is a huge advantage.

Did you actually read my post? I asked if the child would go to nursery instead of school, otherwise she may fall behind. Because she wouldn't be getting an extra year of schooling as you said, she would be missing a whole year.

And if she doesn't want to go to nursery either, how does deferring school solve the problem?

You need to speak to your LA and the specific school. 2 primaries in our catchment allow deferring but then the kid has to miss reception and go straight to year 1, which I think would be awful, routine formed, friendships formed, lots learnt and missed

@Sittinginthesand

Maybe we should just change the cut off date to June so all the summer borns are older for the year… (I am an august born myself- someone has to be the youngest!)

In Scotland the cut off date is March. However you can defer automatically if Jan and Feb. Nov and Dec with support of the school. This creates a postcode lottery with schools in central belt not deferring November and December children. Better off parents more likely to defer as they can absorb costs of continuing preschool child care. My school is supportive of deferring so if you don’t you run into last years deferrals. The kids who turn 6 in November/ December. The system is joined up though so if you transfer schools or go to high school in Scotland they will keep you where you are.

Does she often have major tantrums to get out of things eg. Going to bed?

Are you worried about her behavior generally or is it only reserved for school? If you defer her, will you still be sending her to nursery for the next year?

I think we need to know a bit more. It's hard to know if she's a bit indulged/ being affected by your own uncertainty and anxiety. Or if there are deeper issues with friendships and learning which are affecting her happiness.

If you defer, definitely don't take her out of nursery? If there other issues going on, it would be great for her to have the extra year for support with them. If nursery have not mentioned any concerns, is it a behavioral thing? You have to be really honest with yourself here.

I did this for my dc 8 years ago and have never regretted it.

Better late than early imo. Many people say that you can't tell the difference in a few years, but if you look at the stats for SEND then it is skewed to summer borns, especially in males. There isn't a biological reason for this, it's a environment that isn't appropriate for them for them yet (or possibly ever but that's another debate).

www.lse.ac.uk/News/Latest-news-from-LSE/2021/f-June-21/Summer-born-children-unfairly-labelled-as-having-special-educational-needs

I delayed my eldest reception start it was definitely the right decision for him.
He was anxious in his first year at nursery but really settled and enjoyed his second year at nursery.
Some children are just not ready and our school system is prehistoric and rigid plus they start academic learning too early.
Go with your gut instinct and what you think would most benefit your child.

Find a forest school and some local home Ed groups.

Watch her confidence grow.

@Sittinginthesand

Maybe we should just change the cut off date to June so all the summer borns are older for the year… (I am an august born myself- someone has to be the youngest!)

This is exactly what they do in Scotland. The cut-off is something like kids need to have turned 4 by the end of Jan or Feb, to start in August. In addition, those born in the last 2 or 3 qualifying months can defer a year (and often do), so everyone is at least 4.5 when they start school and some are as old as 5.5.

The problem with deferring reception in England is that it's not commonplace and is relatively new (until recently you could defer but had to go straight into year 1 to remain with the correct age group). There is lack of clarity about what will happen at secondary (will DC be allowed to sit exams with their year group or will they have to move back (?forward) into the correct age group?). What about those who may want / need to sit the 11+ exams or move into independent education for which there are age-related entrance exams?
If they play recreational sport outside of school (such as rugby, football, athletics etc), rules will probably mean that they have to play with their age group rather than their classmates.