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Is Brighton a good place to start again?…

100 replies

Rossetti47 · 18/08/2021 18:30

Hey all, I am desperate for some advice. I am sitting in my half empty house which my ex-partner left today. I am 💔. We had our problems but I never thought we’d split up. My house sale completes next week and then I have no ties to anywhere at all. I have some good friends locally but they’re all married and busy. The area I live in now is a very conservative commuter town with little going on. I am financially secure but I’ll definitely need to score a job whilst I’m training to be a counsellor to cover day to day expenses. Do I have a delusional view of Brighton, thinking that it’d be a great place to meet people and get a job? I think it’d be ace to train there, but I’m in such a start of turmoil I’ve lost my inner guide! Thanks :)

OP posts:
WaitingForNormality · 18/08/2021 20:13

I've lived in Brighton when I was a lot younger. It definitely has a heartbeat and if you are a creative, cultural, artistic or political person it could be a great fit as there are lots of groups of weird and wonderful hobbies. However, I personally felt a bit lost there. Everyone seems very confident and had fantastic back stories or crazy hobbies and I just felt rather dull and, as a result, isolated! That likely says more about me than the place though!

There are some lovely flats nearer Hove. Brighton itself has some nice areas but I'd do the research as there are some really awful areas too It's expensive to live there and there's a lot of poverty.

I didn't drive whilst living there (only learnt once I moved out of Brighton!) and relied solely on the bus. The public transport is really easy and cost effective if you get a bus pass. Having a car in Brighton would be a PITA - parking spaces are non existent and you'd end up stuck in traffic anyway!

WaitingForNormality · 18/08/2021 20:14

Oh and there was a LOT of drug issues when I lived there. I found that rather shocking to witness on a daily basis!

Rossetti47 · 18/08/2021 20:19

@WaitingForNormality your post has really resonated with me :) I’m a wee bit dull with a back story that’s a bit heavy on the Sarf-east London grit! Did you find an area you vibed with?

OP posts:
Libertynan · 18/08/2021 20:21

I agree that having a car is unnecessary in Brighton in fact it's more of a hindrance . Even away from the city centre the street parking is permit holders only. So you have to pay to park outside your own house.

When I go down to visit I try and go by train.

Magicstars · 18/08/2021 20:25

Hove is a good option & well within your budget. Shoreham by sea also has artsy vibe and isn’t far away.
I relocated here from dullsville & love it. There is so much going on creatively, free performances during the festival & a real buzz on the seafront.
Good luck with the move!
I second joining Brighton girl fb page & Brighton woman to meet friends.

muffindays · 18/08/2021 20:25

If you are thinking of moving there op I would recommend a quieter area slightly out of centre - Hove, kemptown village, Preston park. I think it's the kind of place you can be happy years then just realise you are very tired of it. For me mostly related to the traffic and noise and in my 40s the community vibe has been less than I would like. I think in some ways there's a veneer of friendliness and laid back coolness but scratch beneath the surface and lots of people seem quite unfriendly and unhappy. Could just be my experience tho.

I think I'd like to be somewhere a bit quieter with more trees and green space Lewes nearby is lovely if you are able to check it out. And not too far from Brighton with culture and fun of its own...

Wauden · 18/08/2021 20:27

My ex bf said that there is 'a lot of drugs, homelessness, and scroungers'....
Or you could say more positively it has a good alternative scene. Seems quite arty and inclusive.

newnortherner111 · 18/08/2021 20:39

Whilst I enjoy visiting Brighton from time to time and have done so all my life (dad came from Lancing), I would never live in any coastal town or city myself. Any touristy place feels dead between Christmas and Easter, I have found.

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/08/2021 20:45

When I lived in Brighton I loved the time between Christmas and Easter, without tourists. A clear blue sky winters day on the beach is amazing.

I harbour pipe dreams of moving back to Brighton when the kids have all left home, assuming we could afford somewhere I'd be happy living.

Shurl · 18/08/2021 20:46

If you also like the vibe of Leeds, but want to be near the coast, have you considered Newcastle? Feels very like Leeds to me, but with more pulse and you're not far from amazing beaches. Much cheaper and without the draggy seedy side. And loads of gallery's and museums

icelollycraving · 18/08/2021 20:52

I work in Brighton, and live further out in the burbs.
Brighton is a fun city for lots of very different people. Hove may be more your vibe. Are you looking to date? I know my single friends found it a bit harder. If you are part of the LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 community, then it’s home! It’s a very accepting city of all walks of life. Your budget could get somewhere pretty lovely. It’s quick to London by train and in Brighton the buses are plentiful. Also Gatwick is super quick if you’re travelling abroad.
I particularly like it in winter when it’s calmer. I am liking seeing so many people here on holiday enjoying themselves.
Sorry to hear of your break up. A good time to re evaluate but perhaps rent before commuting to buying.

TheShoeLady · 18/08/2021 20:55

Move to Milton Keynes Rossetti! No seaside here, but there’s lots of lakes, loads of parks and green spaces, cycle lanes everywhere and it’s a constantly evolving town, with new opportunities opening up all over, so ideal for a new start.

It’s only half an hour from London by train. Definitely do need a car, as the place is designed for drivers, so no traffic jams (due to our famous roundabouts!) but it’s also amazing for walking, running and cycling. We also have little Starship robots to deliver your shopping and takeaways Grin

For 600k you could buy something amazing, or spend £400k and invest the rest into your business and future. £600k on a 2 bed flat sounds like madness to me! You could pay for a lot of weekends by the seaside for that money and live somewhere much cheaper!

Rossetti47 · 18/08/2021 21:10

Thanks so much everyone. I hugely appreciate, lots to think on.

OP posts:
Rossetti47 · 18/08/2021 21:10

@icelollycraving I’m a cis heterosexual. I’d probably struggle ;)

OP posts:
StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 18/08/2021 21:31

I hated it. Cliquey, unfriendly, overcrowded and a lot of poverty.

SingingInTheShithouse · 19/08/2021 08:07

I'll ad a bit more in response to some of the replies

I move here 25 years ago after London, Brighton seemed like a breath of fresh air compared to London & commuting (which I definitely wouldn't advise) it always felt like a huge relief & a big smile automatically spread over my face when I got of that train in Brighton

What I have found after london, is that to me Brighton is like a combination of York & Camden by the sea. It definitely as it's seedy side & drugs & crime, lots of beggars & dirt, but what visitors need to realise it that they bring the rubbish & beggars with them & those living here wish they'd pick up after themselves & take there shit with them. We definitely do have homelessness here, but most of what you see are street drinkers, who aren't homeless & beg to buy their drink & drugs. Professional beggars follow the tourists here too & much of what you see on the street are begging gangs coming down from london for the day the same as you & street drinkers. The locals know the genuine homeless & along with charities her to do just that, do look out for them as best we can with no housing to spare. Unfortunately like london we now have a lot of oversees investment in property, so new builds of apartment blocks are high end & out priced for locals & generally friggin ugly too

Lockdown made it screamingly obvious where the mess comes from as despite locals still using the beach etc, it was still spotless & that was even without street cleaners working. The council like all, are struggling with cut backs, so just don't have the money to keep on top of the mess left by hoards of often drunk & even more often messy & pig like visitors who think if the bin is full, just leave there rubbish next to it, or leave it where they are sat. If you are visiting, pick your crap up & take it home, you carried it here, it's not that friggin hard. Teams of locals volunteer for beach cleans etc to keep on top of it, especially for the sake of our wildlife, but WTF should we have to, dirty gits take your shit home. In normal times in summer, we don't use our local beach as it's too busy & often with drunks & so we head out a bit to quieter beaches near by as most locals do. We love it out of season though & even in winter for its wildness & ever changing scenery & the best sunsets in the county I'm sure

Usually I love the bustle of living in the centre & right on the beach, but Covid has changed that as at times we have actually been busier than usual, as during lockdown people thought a day out at the beach was in order, I couldn't even open my door without walking into people & it was constant & seemingly more aggressive too. Our local supermarket is practically our corner shop & was absolute hell. So from that, living by the beach isn't as great as you might think it is during a pandemic, but fantastic in normal times.

We are a student town, that can be a pain if you find yourself living next to a student HMO & some good areas such as Hanover can be blighted by noisy students. The Unis though are mostly good at coming down hard on persistently antisocial students & it's usually sorted out after a few weeks of the new term.

AirBnB houses are now taking over a lot of rental property as greedy landlords like to make £800 for a 2 day weekend with no responsibility to tenants over a normal rent & family & they are becoming a real problem as there's little legislation or help with problem guests & tbh, using the garden everyday & all day for bbqs etc is a nuisance when someone living there would be out at work etc

Bungaroosh, if you buy here watch out for it, many of our older houses are built from it & putting anything on a bungaroosh wall is a real challenge. It's damp here too as we are on top of chalk cliffs, so avoid basement properties or check very, very, thoroughly. Your budget will afford you something decent though

Underneath all its glitz, glamour & sometimes seediness, it's a small town, with a small town mentality, so can be as gossipy & clique as anywhere else, but generally it's a friendly & very welcoming place to all. Step outside of the Brighton & hove bubble though & that can be a different story. If you are cis white etc, then you'll be fine, but not if you don't like bigots & like to challenge them.

I agree Shoreham is lovely & if I were to leave Brighton centre, then that would be tempting as friends who moved out there from the centre before us absolutely love it there. Rottingdean & Peacehaven are great to & friends living there after central Brighton, love it too. We also love Lewes, but it floods & no sea.

You don't need a car, local transport is very good, & parking is horrendous & expensive if you don't have a drive or garage with your property.

I love it here for all of its arty quirkiness & anything goes, but I do fall into the artsy category. Making friends here is easy with so much going on to join in & I've seen many like yourself who've arrived on their own & quickly settled in. Some areas such as Hanover are well known for their community ethos & welcoming newcomers

If I didn't live here, I think York is the only place I would go, lived there for years too & would go back if I didn't have Brighton. So that's maybe somewhere else to look at

Xlalalaladdd · 19/08/2021 08:14

OP if you are not tied to the south east, would you consider Manchester? We moved here from London a few years back and its been wonderful. Much easier to make new friends, plenty going on, even without kids. Somewhere like Chorlton/Sale might be a good bet and your get a lovely house on your budget. There are also people of all ages, which we like, not just young professionals or young families etc

SingingInTheShithouse · 19/08/2021 08:19

Oh & council tax is a negative as it's stupidly expensive here, so watch out for that

pisspants · 19/08/2021 08:28

The Milton Keynes suggestion made me lol. I can't think of anywhere more the opposite of Brighton in the country than that!

kickupafuss · 19/08/2021 08:33

I lived in Brighton for a couple of years and much as I loved the place I found it hard to make friends. I'm quite shy anyway so it might have been me rather than Brighton! I felt as though everyone else was having a good time and I was just not part of it so that made the loneliness even harder. In the end I moved to Birmingham, very quickly made friends and loved living there.

WaitingForNormality · 19/08/2021 08:34

[quote Rossetti47]@WaitingForNormality your post has really resonated with me :) I’m a wee bit dull with a back story that’s a bit heavy on the Sarf-east London grit! Did you find an area you vibed with?[/quote]
No, sadly I never found a good fit there.

I moved to Cambridge and bloody love it! Had loads of quirky fun things to do, so easy to meet people but there's less slightly less of a hippy/drugs vibe!

ovenchips · 19/08/2021 08:40

@rossetti47 Sorry to hear of you break-up. Sounds really painful.Flowers

As for locations - worth having a look at Bridport in Dorset? Lots going on, especially arts and culture plus it's about a mile from the sea. Known as London By The Sea I believe!

Rossetti47 · 19/08/2021 08:43

Thanks @ovenchips. I’ll look at Bridport now. It’s exceptionally painful, i wonder sometimes if I’ll make it. Thanks for your kindness

OP posts:
pisspants · 19/08/2021 08:47

Southsea in Portsmouth is often touted as an alternative to Brighton. I've not been there but it certainly looks great on paper and the house prices are much better than Brighton

NantesElephant · 19/08/2021 08:56

I have never lived in Brighton but in your position I would be tempted. Can you rent for a little while and see how it feels before you commit?

Bridport is nice, although it’s a town, not a city so less happening, and there’s no train station. You would get more house for your money there, but London is not as accessible and you would need a car for sure.

With a £600K budget that does give you a lot of options to go for a cheaper place in a lot of areas if you decide against Brighton, and keep a lump sum for your pension or to make changes to your life - start a business, buy a boat, etc. best of luck Flowers