Page 3 | Siblings at soft play party

yellowgecko · 2021-08-18T14:40:13+00:00

First world problems and all that... DS turns 5 shortly and is having a soft play birthday party. About 20 kids have been invited. At least 4 parents have responded with, 'great! xx would love to come. BTW, we need to bring xx sibling, they will only play, we'll get their food'. The party booking form clearly states siblings must be paid for. It's £12 per head. Final numbers given the day before. I'm probably completely overthinking it - but the siblings are pretty much all younger so the parents won't leave them to just play and eat in their own. They will end up being part of the party and frankly I don't see why I should pay for them! Do I tell the parents they need to give me £12 in advance of the party? Do I let them sort it on the day and not tell the venue in advance? What have you done in a similar position?

Oohstickyouyourmummatoo · 18/08/2021 17:41

I'm a single parent and have never had a choice but to take the sibling to a party that the other one was invited to.
At soft play parties I didn't tell the party parent I was bringing a sibling I would just bring them and pay their entry and order them some food separately so I never felt it necessary.
It would be really entitled if they're expecting the sibling to be part of the party but from your message example it doesn't sound like they are.

Disrespected · 18/08/2021 17:43

Before I've just said. Yeah little ones welcome. Just pay for them at the door

Authenticcelestialmusic · 18/08/2021 17:47

At one party we had three cancel on the day so I asked people to bring siblings in! I preempted this at the next party and told a couple of people they could have the spaces for siblings if someone didn’t show so not to pay to enter until all had turned up.

Authenticcelestialmusic · 18/08/2021 17:52

I make party bags up for the siblings too (just small bits and a piece of cake) if I don’t see the siblings I give to the parent to take home. It’s quite a small school though so I know who has siblings.

happydays2345 · 18/08/2021 17:53

@Blamelesscars

Yep reply to the parents saying they need to bring siblings saying

“Dc is delight X can come. You’re more than welcome to bring xx sibling however the venue require an additional £12 for each sibling. I can send bank details or PayPal if that’s easy for a digital cost payment.”

"Digital cost payment" 😂

Whynotnowbaby · 18/08/2021 17:54

Like others, I used to have to be that parent, I always let the parent of the birthday child I was going to pay for the sibling myself when I rsvped and bought separate food for the sibling with no suggestion they should be offered anything from the party table. Of course I also had no expectation of a party bag or any other party specific things for sibling.

Watermelon221 · 18/08/2021 18:06

@BraveBananaBadge

(Also nobody I knew dropped and left 5 year olds anyway)

There was one parent in my ds’s Class that used to drop her reception aged child (5) at parties and leave. Playbarns, halls and trampoline places etc. With the public there as well. Just assumed people would watch him.

SuperSange · 18/08/2021 18:17

We had similar, I just replied saying the venue policy was that it was x amount for siblings, were they happy to pay? Some did, some didn't. Their choice, not my problem.

HelloDulling · 18/08/2021 18:24

They are all clearly happy to pay the £4 on the door and keep away from the food/party bags.

Just leave them to it.

IHateCoronavirus · 18/08/2021 18:34

I would also say “Yes of course bring Bobbety-Joe! You’ll just need to pay for them on the door and arrange food/snacks etc as they won’t be counted in party numbers by the centre” (or me)

Peanutsandchilli · 18/08/2021 19:07

No, I've held many a soft play party and also taken siblings to other people's parties. I've never asked anyone if I could bring another child. It's a public venue. The invited child joins the party and the sibling plays and eats food at the table with the parent. I've paid for the extra child myself, at the door, as I would if I was just taking them for a normal day out. When I've hosted a party, if there's been food left then I've been happy for siblings to eat it, but I've never asked for payment. The only time it would be different is if you'd booked the whole venue to yourself, or if covid rules mean that sessions have to be booked in advance (and even then, I'd just book a session at the same time as the party).

lilmishap · 18/08/2021 19:23

The £4 entry is only being offered to the invited child, it's not your fault that entry is £12 that's just how much it is.

You're not taking the piss

Satansballsacks · 18/08/2021 19:34

I am inwardly groaning at the idea of sending anyone a reply with my bank or Paypal details. That would be a thread on its own ("CF school mum gave me her bank details for soft play party").

It's all a long time ago now, but I often had to take siblings to parties as XH was working. The etiquette was to pay on the door for any extras ("Child A is party of the party, but I'm paying for Children B and C". It couldn't be more straightforward). Then keep Children B and C with you at a separate table. There were always mums with siblings at these parties.

In practice, there were often spare party bags as the DC's classes were very small (12 was the most they ever had in a class when they were little). I always did parties at home, so no specific costs were involved - but I always used to say on the invitations: "Siblings, parent, grandparents and nannies are all welcome", and then I'd do extra food and bags of plastic tat.

Doubledoorsontogarden · 18/08/2021 19:54

Advise the parents with other dc to contact the sift play centre to book their child in, covid init

Original poster

yellowgecko · 18/08/2021 20:02

Thanks so much for all the responses.
To answer a couple of questions:

I don't have it on private hire, so yes anyone could turn up. However, I don't know what the play limit is, it's not a huge venue.

I don't think the parents in question are expecting the sibling to be part of the party, but given how the booking firm is worded I think the venue is going to be looking at it. We're the only party booked, it will be quite obvious I think.

I don't want to end up getting charged for people that DS doesn't know and aren't actually invited.

I think I'm going to go back to the parents in question and politely but firmly reiterate the invite is for xx child; if they intend to bring another they need to ensure they are separate from the party and adequate supervision is provided for all children attending as the venue has a very clear sibling policy regarding parties. If that's not possible, and they're happy to pay £12 to cover their place they can be included in party numbers, payment to be received by xx date, here's my bank deets

I feel like I'm going to come across as a right cow however I word it, but it might mean fewer guests next year...!

OP posts:

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/08/2021 20:14

I feel like I'm going to come across as a right cow however I word it, but it might mean fewer guests next year...!
Not really. I mean, most people understand that the invitation is for the named child only, don't they? The venue has muddied the waters by waffling on about siblings in the first place.

Notaroadrunner · 18/08/2021 20:19

You're making it more difficult than you need to. Just give the venue a list of the kids who actually are invited. Tick them off as they arrive. You then pay for those kids and nobody else - make it clear to the venue that no other children are included.

You don't even need to contact the parents of siblings if you prefer not to, but if you do, do not offer to add them to your list. They are not invited to your child's party. Why complicate things by accommodating kids that your dc doesn't even know. If their parents wish for them to go to the play centre then they just pay the entrance fee themselves and you don't provide food for them.

NoSquirrels · 18/08/2021 20:26

You need to clarify with the venue - will there be pay on the door entry for the usual £4 soft play or not?

If they say yes, but they can’t guarantee numbers, go back to the parents & say

Checked with the venue about siblings and they say you can turn up on the day and pay £4 entry as normal but if they’ve already got to maximum capacity obviously they might not let you bring sibling in. If you’d like me to add them officially to the party booking, it will be £12. Let me know. At the moment just X’s name will be on the door list.

Original poster

yellowgecko · 18/08/2021 21:19

@Notaroadrunner

You're making it more difficult than you need to. Just give the venue a list of the kids who actually are invited. Tick them off as they arrive. You then pay for those kids and nobody else - make it clear to the venue that no other children are included.

You don't even need to contact the parents of siblings if you prefer not to, but if you do, do not offer to add them to your list. They are not invited to your child's party. Why complicate things by accommodating kids that your dc doesn't even know. If their parents wish for them to go to the play centre then they just pay the entrance fee themselves and you don't provide food for them.

Yes I am probably overthinking / complicating it...but equally I don't want to not think about it, everyone rocks up on the day and then I'm charged £50+ for uninvited siblings.

Calling the venue is a good shout to do first...other people's children are not my problem right? So it doesn't matter if they're alerted to siblings attending, it's up to their parents to sort them out.

OP posts:

Original poster

yellowgecko · 18/08/2021 21:20

@NoSquirrels

You need to clarify with the venue - will there be pay on the door entry for the usual £4 soft play or not?

If they say yes, but they can’t guarantee numbers, go back to the parents & say

Checked with the venue about siblings and they say you can turn up on the day and pay £4 entry as normal but if they’ve already got to maximum capacity obviously they might not let you bring sibling in. If you’d like me to add them officially to the party booking, it will be £12. Let me know. At the moment just X’s name will be on the door list.

I like this response, thank you

OP posts: