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Original poster

Siblings at soft play party

70 replies

yellowgecko · 18/08/2021 15:40

First world problems and all that...
DS turns 5 shortly and is having a soft play birthday party. About 20 kids have been invited.

At least 4 parents have responded with, 'great! xx would love to come. BTW, we need to bring xx sibling, they will only play, we'll get their food'.

The party booking form clearly states siblings must be paid for. It's £12 per head. Final numbers given the day before.

I'm probably completely overthinking it - but the siblings are pretty much all younger so the parents won't leave them to just play and eat in their own.
They will end up being part of the party and frankly I don't see why I should pay for them!

Do I tell the parents they need to give me £12 in advance of the party?
Do I let them sort it on the day and not tell the venue in advance?
What have you done in a similar position?

OP posts:

SeasonFinale · 18/08/2021 16:18

Do not under any circumstances ask for the money direct from them as there will be some that will pay you back later and won't.

I would message back and say that if people have noone else to leave their other children with for the duration of the party then they will need to pay the venue direct for any siblings in attendance and arrange for their own food.

ISpyCobraKai · 18/08/2021 16:22

I'd say no, they aren't who your DC invited so not welcome.
More polite than that obvs.

Pissinthepottyplease · 18/08/2021 16:22

I would say that’s fine the play centre are charging me £12 per sibling, my bank account details are x, y z or if you prefer you can drop off and leave (name of 5 year old friend). I need to know final number by whatever date (a few days before you need the final numbers).

Don’t leave it until the day.

Colourcones · 18/08/2021 16:23

Why do they need to stay ?

Original poster

yellowgecko · 18/08/2021 16:25

@lilmishap yes I understand it's not always possible to leave the sibling.
So in this case, the price per child includes play, food and party bag. Usual entry is £4, it's a big difference to 'normal' entry. Are they going to think I'm taking the piss?

OP posts:

Original poster

yellowgecko · 18/08/2021 16:28

@GreyhoundG1rl

Why did you include the "siblings must be paid for" on the invite? It's basically welcoming anyone who wants to turn up 🤷🏻‍♀️ Why are you now assuming they're not going to pay?

I didn't put that on the invite. I invited DS's friends, and at least 4 parents responded with 'yes xx can attend and xx sibling would love to come too, don't worry we'll pay for their play'.

On the booking form that I signed to confirm the party it clearly states siblings attending with party guests must be paid for in full as part of the party

OP posts:

Original poster

yellowgecko · 18/08/2021 16:29

@Colourcones

Why do they need to stay ?

I wouldn't leave my 5 year old alone at a soft play - lots of the invitees also will only be 4

OP posts:

WillYouDoTheFandango · 18/08/2021 16:29

No, they won’t think you’re taking the piss. They’ll just realise their pisstaking hasn’t paid off.

Don’t offer to pay. Leave a list of invitee names at the desk and give the staff the heads up when you arrive that you’re only paying for those children. Some CFs try to add the sibling on when they arrive and if the staff are new/not very savvy they’ll assume it’s okay to charge you at the end.

Original poster

yellowgecko · 18/08/2021 16:32

@MazDazzle

Whenever one of my kids were invited to a soft play party I’d pay for my other kids to go in at the same time and we’d sit away from the birthday table or party room.

It’s the done thing round here. Many other parents would do the same.

You'd sit away from the party at aged 4 / 5? DS would not be happy with me doing that if he was invited to a party (not that he's attended many being covid and all )

OP posts:

WillYouDoTheFandango · 18/08/2021 16:32

Ah. That’s different then. If they’re paying for the child’s entry that’s fine. The party venue must have experience of siblings coming into the party room, eating the food, joining in the games etc. I don’t see how they can enforce the paid for as part of the party if they sit at a separate table and don’t try to join the party.

GintyMcGinty · 18/08/2021 16:33

Just be upfront with them and say that if siblings come then they need to book and pay for them separately.

1AngelicFruitCake · 18/08/2021 16:35

@Elllicam

I would just say that’s no problem but you’ve only booked for the party kids and the venue won’t let you add any more on now so they’ll have to book the siblings in seperately.

I’d do this

Beamur · 18/08/2021 16:36

I think the venue are well used to cheeky parents paying a play fee and crashing the party!
You need to be very clear to parents that the booking will only allow siblings to attend when a full party fee is paid, so it's £12 per extra child attending. Or no siblings.
Are you expecting parents to stay or dump and run?
When DD was this age I did a soft play party expecting parents to stay and watch their kids. Not all did. Some took it as a free babysitting pass! Curiously it seemed closely aligned to how well behaved those children were too..

Teeheehee1579 · 18/08/2021 16:39

Many kids are happy for parents to not be sitting there, many want them there. All will usually get on with it if a parent cannot be sitting there. My 3 were a mixed bag of all of that.

I think you’ll find most parents are expecting to pay for the sibling though - nothing you have said suggests they expect you to pay? Presumably sibling won’t be on the list that the venue has so they’ll be asked by venue to pay.

museumum · 18/08/2021 16:40

are you expecting all the invitees will have a parent 'at' the party, ie hovering in the party room / round the table?
at 4 turning 5 i'd be happy to have a few kids without their parent at the actual party if they were in the building so i'd tell those ones to pay for their own softplay but that they will absolutely not be allowed to join in the party.

Nocutenamesleft · 18/08/2021 16:41

Ask in advance

I’ve had and been to many soft play parties. Anyone who brought siblings always said. I’ll pay for them to come. But I’d it ok. And they have done

When I’ve HAD to bring my sibling. I’ve always said I’d it ok. I’ll totallly pay for them obviously.

So yes. Tel them in advance. Say something like the place needs number and payment beforehand. So I’ll need that by next week if your planning to bring . Thanks for your understanding.

BluebellsGreenbells · 18/08/2021 16:44

I think the parents intend to stay at the venue , pay the sibling in to pay, and will supervise and purchase food whilst the invited child eats in the other room.

A lot of parents used to do this when mine were young only joining in IF someone hadn’t turned up.

I would ask them to pay separately and you crack on with your plans.

Watermelon221 · 18/08/2021 16:44

Have you booked exclusive hire for the party or will the public be there?

Surely if it’s the latter the parents can just pay the £4 for any extra kids on the door? (And they won’t join in with party food etc)

If it’s the former, they may need to pay the £12, which I presume most wont want to do!

Nocutenamesleft · 18/08/2021 16:46

However the venue are being cheeky saying they’ve got to pay triple to just come

I’d get them to do it separately. However they won’t be able to sit with them

We do that here. It’s the done thing.

BraveBananaBadge · 18/08/2021 16:46

None of this crossed my mind when I had a soft play party - it's a public place and the mums who brought siblings paid for them not expecting them to be part of the party. It just made sense. I'm not close to any of the mums I invited really, but wouldn't have called anyone CFs.

As it happens there was a few no shows and loads of extra food so in the end gatecrashers were a help

Bimblybomeyelash · 18/08/2021 16:47

Blimey, £4 forNormal play and £12 for a party??!! I think it’s the softplay that are being CF!

BraveBananaBadge · 18/08/2021 16:51

(Also nobody I knew dropped and left 5 year olds anyway)

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 18/08/2021 17:05

This is why we booked the slot private and stated on the invites no siblings. Unfair on the birthday child to have uninvited guests.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/08/2021 17:34

@Nocutenamesleft

However the venue are being cheeky saying they’ve got to pay triple to just come

I’d get them to do it separately. However they won’t be able to sit with them

We do that here. It’s the done thing.

They're probably used to a extra 15+ kids stampeding into the party room demanding food (with the parents making no attempt to stop them) and crying piteously for party bags at the end. The parents no doubt scandalised that there aren't any for their extra 3 kids

AnneFuckingKirrin · 18/08/2021 17:36

@museumum

I would NOT be getting money from them and adding them to the party. I would reply to the parents that they have to book direct with the centre and pay for them as party numbers are confirmed.

Yes, I would do this too.

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