House/Family Rules

[manhattenrain]

I'm curious to hear what house / family rules others have, eg. Only eating at dining table, no sleepovers... that kind of thing. Curious to see if the rules I've set are standard or if they'd be considered strict.

Takeaways are eaten in the living room whilst watching a movie, other than that it’s dining table only.

Tidy up after yourselves.

That’s about it.

Put shoes away soon as you get in

Clear own dishes into dishwasher after a meal

I've just realised I don't really have any rules 😂

Oh I've thought of one!! You have to have 3 bites of a new food/drink before you decide you don't like it.
If you don't like it after 3, that's fine, and you don't have to eat it again

@GetTaeFuck I pretty much have the exact rule. Only allowed to eat snacks in the lounge room on movie night, otherwise dining table.

Mine are quite little and I am quite strict.

No shouting at others, kicking, hitting, biting etc

Food at table

Shoes off at door, slippers on.

Hands washed at door and before food.

No throwing in the house

I'm sure there are more and more will emerge but those are the main ones at moment.

Ps, farm children so shoes and hands are super important here.

@MrsBullfinch

Oh I've thought of one!! You have to have 3 bites of a new food/drink before you decide you don't like it. If you don't like it after 3, that's fine, and you don't have to eat it again

I might have to adopt that rule!

No sleepovers?

We don’t really have any rules. Kids old enough and ugly enough to look after themselves. We rotate washing up etc. They clean their own rooms / bathrooms / clothes. Etc.

Meals at the dining room table.
Shoes and coats put away
If you have something delivered out the packaging into the recycling and answer the door to the deliverer.
If girlfriends/boyfriends are eating with us, I need notice
Dirty clothes in the laundry basket
Wipe down the bath/shower after use
If you aren't coming home - tell me
When they were smaller, tidy-up time before bathtime
Gym/games/schoolbags packed the night before and uniform/shoes ready
If you graze from the fridge, use a plate
Please and thank you were obligatory

We eat our meals at the dining table, but that's not A Rule as such, it just happens. I always find it odd when people talk about their teenagers insisting on eating in their rooms.

We have very few Rules, but what I suspect would be considered a lot of Expectations.

You don't have to hug/touch anyone you don't want to .. (overbearing relatives led us to this one)

Clean up after yourself.

Teeth must always be brushed.

No other rules. I don't care where they eat as long as they eat.

These lasted longer than expected due to motor skills issues:

• Food and drink for DC only in kitchen or sat down in dining room.
• Felt tip pens only at table in dining room.
• No throwing things in the house.

Also

• coat on peg, shoes on rack, clothes in laundry basket

@MrsBullfinch

Oh I've thought of one!! You have to have 3 bites of a new food/drink before you decide you don't like it. If you don't like it after 3, that's fine, and you don't have to eat it again

I’d prefer to starve!

No food upstairs.
Everyone clears away their own plate etc.
Headphones before 8.30am and after 10.00pm.
All dirty clothes put in wash bag.

Agree with expectations rather than rules

But I guess we have quite a lot, although none are 100% enforced more like 95%

Shoes off in the house
Homework done straight away after school run
Take your plate to the dishwasher
No throwing in the house
No hitting
If you want to do something really noisy you need to go in another room
Eating happens at the table or island or in the garden
Tidy up (if needed) before screen time
Toys are shared property after the toys reach about a year old, except one or two extra special ones or ones that get “used up”
Flush the bloody loo (you’d think this would be sorted by now but no 🙄)

Oh yes and stay in your room till 7am!!

Anyone eating dinner does it communally - exceptions can be arranged if there’s a good reason ( eg adult DS has an online club thing occasionally).
No swearing in front of Grandma.
Dinner conversation is to be civil, appropriate and inclusive of everyone present.
No eating treats in front of others without sharing ( crisps, chocolates etc).
Someone other than the cook clears up after dinner.
Be at the table before food is served, so that help is available to the cook for last minute help.
Anyone in the house needs to be available to bring in and help unpack food shopping/delivery and everyone is to contribute to shopping list and meal planning.

• Shoes off in the house
• Wash your hands when you get in (and the other usual times of course)
• Only water to drink upstairs
• Don't leave homework to the last night, other than that do it whenever/however you like (this is so we can go out for tea at short notice)

No devices upstairs (other than Alexas and Netflix on their TVs)

Must brush teeth and keep up hygiene ect

Bedroom floors clean

Washing in basket

Homework done.

3 bites?
please don't do that. it's horrible for most kids, but absolute torture for supertasters.

when I was 8 I was made to eat 3 spoonfuls of some horrid, stinky pureed soup at school.
the 1st spoonful made me feel ill. the 2nd made my cry, but my teacher kept on yelling at me.
the 3rd made me projectile vomit all over her, my class mates, myself, the table, floor, chairs...
there was so much sick ( because I had a big glass of water first) it made other children vomit too.

The teacher was gobsmacked. I looked at her and said "I told you I wouldn't be able to eat this"

You have to wear a top to eat dinner. I unexpectedly have also had to introduce a rule that you also have to be wearing underwear

No drugs unless medicated (not that dc would)

Don’t do anything illegal.

And be kind to one another and to other people (unless they really annoy you)

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba they're 14,10 and 9, I've never had an issue with it tbh. I'm very relaxed towards food and I wouldn't force them to eat something they hate. It's more of an encouragement to just try.
They're great eaters so I must be lucky or it's worked. They eat everything from sushi to kedgeree, curries, salads, tapas etc

But I wouldn't do it if it caused distress.

@MrsBullfinch

thanks for explaining it.
the way you described it triggered that memory - it's still surprisingly vivid.

I always ask my kids to try one bite/lick only, they can spit it in the bin if no good.
I'm glad for yours 3 bites are an option, not a hard rule.

We don’t really have rules in an ‘I say so you do’ kind of way - I would say it boils down to mutual respect really and also I’m lucky to have very compliant uncomplicated dc so, whilst they thrive off consistent boundaries & limits, have never thus far needed to do a massive house rules type thing.

My dc do know that if mummy says something she means it / it will definitely happen though.

No food in bedrooms.

Try your dinner. If you don't like it, another dinner won't be offered; but you can have sensible snacks instead. If you like it but cannot eat the entire portion, just finish when you finish. [Both DH and I have horrific childhood memories of being told to "finish your dinner" and "clean your plate" even if we hated it.]