Anyone else hate being back in the office?

[Lizzie523]

Been back 2 weeks full time and I hate it. It is worth saying I've been living alone through the whole pandemic and im a mix of introvert/extrovert. Asked for flexibility and a gradual return, was flat out denied and sent back full time straight away.

I hate:

• constant noise from extroverts in the small office, they never stop talking and I'm much less productive back in already. My job requires focus and I don't get it. Don't like listening to headphones all day as a so called solution.
• I'm really struggling with the constant repetition of small talk. 'what did you do/are you doing at the weekend?' repeated 10 times on a Friday. 'what are you having for lunch' every day, can't tolerate it at all even though it is meant to be a normal social lubricant!
• the commute. Hours there and back every day during peak times is causing my anxiety to sky rocket.

Anyone else really struggling with it?

[quote stitchinguru]@Knittingupastorm
Yes, of course she is allowed to dislike things.
However, the pandemic means that some people have lost relatives, jobs, houses and businesses.
My point is about keeping minor inconveniences in perspective.
And to the NHS worker who has described her working situation for the last 18 months, thank you for the genuine sacrifices you have made. I find it ironic that those who had things really tough tend to be the ones least likely to be whinging.[/quote]
I think that's a bit unfair. A lot of people have realised there is such a thing as a better work life balance. I wouldn't say going back to the office is a 'minor inconvenience' when you think that workmakes up a huge part of people's lives. We have to do it for 40/50 years of our lives so why shouldn't people fight for better working conditions. And why does it need to be a competition about who has had it worse during the pandemic?

OP, as you are not alone, perhaps gather up others such as the colleague with childcare issues and jointly appeal. Perfectly fair to have everyone with one or two days a week working from home.

If you are successful in getting another job, make it 100% clear when you leave that you would have stayed were some level of working from home continued.

[quote stitchinguru]@Howshouldibehave
Mmm… well, that puts an interesting slant on the whole thing.
Maybe the OP (who describes herself as a mix of an introvert/extrovert….. a normal person?) just isn’t happy in her current role.[/quote]
As far as I remember, they wanted to work at home but were very unhappy about having to have their camera on during work Zoom meetings.

"But TBH her work has gone way downhill ". Then this needs to be discussed.

@Howshouldibehave
My heart bleeds….

@stitchinguru

Sorry, but someone has to say it…. 1) you were lucky to have the opportunity to work from home and keep yourself relatively safe during a major health crisis. 2) you were lucky to retain a job and not have to take a dip in earnings during lockdowns (many wfh were better off as a result of not having to pay travel costs etc) 3) you have been offered a tax allowance to offset your ‘additional’ costs associated with wfh. I think it might be time to be ‘glass half full’ - many have had this much rougher than you for so many different reasons.

This! Those of us who worked out if the house throughout had/have no choice unless we want to retrain or leave our chosen fields. No one likes commuting but I am fed up with people who have wfh now moaning about how hard theirs lives are.

@Hekatestorch

People who can't work from home, that come onto these threads to moan at people who can or do wfh, baffle me.

I can't imagine telling teachers, they should suck up parts of their job that they don't like and never talk about it because they get schools holidays off. Or that they shouldnt talk about parts of their jobs they don't like, because I can't have school holidays off.

Or object to teachers getting school holidays off because I don't. Or pointing out to teachers, that some people have it worse.

What job I do is entirely irrelevant to teachers.

This is exactly what teachers get told all the time

I’m really lost as to how teachers have come into this.

@Ohshitiveturnedintomymother OK, let's say I agree and they do come onto a thread where a teacher says they are struggling a bit. You say posters come on and say 'you can't moan about that you get long holidays/people have it worse etc'. I don't agree, but let's say it happens.

Why would teachers than go do that to someone else? Who is struggling mentally (their previous posts were about struggling mentally. Not just not wanting g to put a camera on).

Oddly another teacher on this thread, relpued to me and never mentioned this happens. And if I read one of those threads I would point out to people that teachers holidays are irrelevant.

Just like I did hear.

People like op didn't have a job that needed to be done outside the home. So it's irrelevant and entirely lacking in empathy.

I mean rely, teachers have nothing g to main about because NHS workers had it worse? Doesn't even make sense.

@ElderflowerRose

I’m really lost as to how teachers have come into this.

Because some people like a dig whenever possible with big naive eyes

Because some people like a dig whenever possible with big naive eyes

No, its because people seem to think no one can be struggling unless they did face to face work during the pandemic. When in fact, it's entirely irrelevant to the thread or the OP looking for support.

But yes, it's OK for teachers to dog at everyone else. And if any dares flip what they are saying they are big bad meanies.

@stitchinguru

Sorry, but someone has to say it…. 1) you were lucky to have the opportunity to work from home and keep yourself relatively safe during a major health crisis. 2) you were lucky to retain a job and not have to take a dip in earnings during lockdowns (many wfh were better off as a result of not having to pay travel costs etc) 3) you have been offered a tax allowance to offset your ‘additional’ costs associated with wfh. I think it might be time to be ‘glass half full’ - many have had this much rougher than you for so many different reasons.

Nobody has to say it because everyone already implicitly acknowledges it. Doesn't mean it doesn't make us miserable. Commuting and offices are extra depressing for a lot of people exactly because this WFH stint has mad it patently obvious that for a lot of people, it's just a whole lot of miserable hassle for crap return (IE people are more productive at home). The pointlessness of it all makes it that much more depressing.

People who can't work from home, that come onto these threads to moan at people who can or do wfh, baffle me
I know.
Also not sure why NHS workers comment to say at least you don’t have to deal with ill/dying people at work. Nobody is forced into a specific field 🤷🏼‍♀️ (general remark, not specifically this thread).

It’s just the woe is me posts, not necessarily just the op, but those now moaning about a commute/having to get dressed/see other people when they have had to this previously. The hyperbole about how hard it is, when others have had to do this throughout. If you want to wfh then look for a wfh role, if your boss wants you in, and you have no real reason to not, then you’ll have to go in.

And yes, obviously nhs frontline staff have had it harder…at what point has ANYONE said different?

@ElderflowerRose

I don’t really object to WFH but I do hate the way any mention of the fact it impedes hugely on other family members or the fact that a lot of the time it’s not particularly conducive is leaped upon. I’ve seen some really awful comments here telling women to ‘get a job’ when they describe a life where they and children have to tiptoe around talking in hushed voices. Half the time they DO work anyway!

I am having to drive miles next week to see a HV so I can discuss things without my partner hovering around like Banquo’s ghost constantly. It’s awful.

Exactly. There was a thread recently where the OP worked term time and wanted her husband to go into the office now and then over the summer holidays so she could have people over and socialise without his being there. She was torn apart for daring to think that her house was a home first and a makeshift office second.

I am a bit worried about my DP to be honest.

His life at the moment is: work, nip out for some food sometimes, return, work, sleep, repeat.

It isn’t healthy. I understand why people love it. I hate commuting as well, but I do think going out can be a bit like a lot of things that the more you do it the more you want to do it.

@Ohshitiveturnedintomymother

It’s just the woe is me posts, not necessarily just the op, but those now moaning about a commute/having to get dressed/see other people when they have had to this previously. The hyperbole about how hard it is, when others have had to do this throughout. If you want to wfh then look for a wfh role, if your boss wants you in, and you have no real reason to not, then you’ll have to go in.

And yes, obviously nhs frontline staff have had it harder…at what point has ANYONE said different?

So you believe teachers can find their jobs hard or stressful 'cause NHS workers' really?

Has it ever occurred to you that actually some people are just struggling. Or are only NHS workers allowed to feel a mental strain during a pandemic?

Will the mental health fall out fro. The pandemic only apply to NHS workers? teachers, bus drivers, office workers won't be having an issues.

This thread is about the pp struggling to be around people after 18 months or near isolation. It's really not that hard to have empathy and not try and make them feel small because they have struggled now and (it appears) during the whole thing.

Loads of people struggled for loads of different reasons and trying to shame people into not talking about it, isn't really helping anyone. If you don't want to help, then just scroll on.

Why make the op feel every worse than she does?

I think you can have empathy but that doesn’t necessarily mean she should be encouraged to going back to spending her life in what is effectively solitary confinement.

@Hekatestorch now I think you’re just being deliberately obtuse. Did I say that teachers can’t complain because of the NHS workers? No, you said that teachers shouldn’t complain because nhs workers have it harder and I concurred that obviously they have suffered more.
Perhaps a bit more time around teachers would help your comprehension skills?

@ElderflowerRose

I think you can have empathy but that doesn’t necessarily mean she should be encouraged to going back to spending her life in what is effectively solitary confinement.

I agree. That may not be the best solution long term for the op.

oblomov indeed I am trying.
She keeps saying she’s ‘more productive’ ie working more hours due to lack of commute and getting through more tasks - which is true.
But the quality is down.
She’s lost her usual zing - which is what I want rather than more hours to be honest.

[quote Ohshitiveturnedintomymother]@Hekatestorch now I think you’re just being deliberately obtuse. Did I say that teachers can’t complain because of the NHS workers? No, you said that teachers shouldn’t complain because nhs workers have it harder and I concurred that obviously they have suffered more.
Perhaps a bit more time around teachers would help your comprehension skills?[/quote]
Your attempt at being PA are quite poor.

NHS workers have had it worse than teachers. But teachers should be allowed to talk about ways they are finding the job hard. Should be allowed to moan?

But no one else can? Office workers have to shut up because of NHS workers, bus driver, teachers etc. They can't use forums to speak other people about them struggling?

My point is that if people in some jobs can't moan because others have it worse, why would teachers/ bus drivers/ supermarket workers be allowed to moan when others have it worse. It's a ridiculous statement to say 'you can't moan because someone has it worse'.

Teachers do, in my opinion, impossible jobs. I can't imagine how hard it is. NHS workers also do incredibly hard jobs. But I don't think everyone else should have to shut up or not look for a little support.

Its been a shit year and a half for everyone, in different ways. Some more than others. But making people feel worse, isn't a good thing to do and usually irrelevant.

My friend was enjoying working from home. They pushed for it to remain. Since it can be done remotely new recruits are appearing , mainly from other countries where labour is cheaper. Now they are all worried about job security…

People who want to stay WFH always say they are more productive but that's not the experience of a lot of employers

And all the chat about work life balance
Most employers don't really care!
It looks like lots of people will be going back to work whether they like it or not

And yes, if you are applying for a 100% remote working job, then that's a job you are competing for against not just local people, but across the UK (including areas where wages are lower) and in many cases internationally.

Why would an employers pay a premium for someone based near their office if they're never going in?