Books that changed your life?

[Bluebellsinparadise]

Please tell me about the books that changed your life. I am going through a period of change/ growth and would love some inspiration! Name changed as feels very personal, but have been on here years (I’m not trying to push any books!).

These are mine:

The seven habits of highly effective people- Stephen Covey It was a revelation to me as a 20 something learning the habits that many people around me seemed to have learned from their (professional) parents - it positively helped me grow as a person too. Wish I’d have been taught these at school.

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero Wow this book had such a profound effect on me when I read it a few years ago. Lots of reviews seem to say similar. I became happier after struggling with mental health, my career skyrocketed in less than a year, I suddenly got treated with more respect, and I doubled my income. It had an incredibly empowering effect on me and helped me overcome imposter syndrome. I’m re-reading it now as I feel a bit stuck and already I’m having lots of new exciting opportunities present themselves to me. It’s also helping me overcome another period of self doubt.

So I’d love to hear your recommendations! They could be from any genre.... fiction to science or self help.

@KeflavikAirport I think it’s ok if you download it onto the kindle

@MissyB1

Reasons To Stay Alive Matt Haig.

Having always been a very positive optimistic person i suddenly found myself in the slough of despond, this book helped me to realise it can happen to anyone at any time, Also I was interested in how he decided not to go down the medication route (which caused some controversy I believe), but to heal himself slowly one tiny step at a time. Very thought provoking.

This. The book changed me and I think on many levels saved me. The comfort book by the same author is also wonderful for the soul

Healing back pain or The mind-body prescription by Dr John Sarno - an interesting read if you have a persistent health issue.

It cured my backache half way through the book !!!!

@Skybluepinkgiraffe yes I’ve seen both. The first one they did was the best I thought.

Miracle morning is one in reading books and it's having a huge positive impact on me taking control and feeling with the crippling anxiety that I've been struggling through

Also the chimp paradox is on my shelf ready to read after Los of recommendations.

In the past how to talk so kids listen transformed my parenting.

Atomic habits change my life too.

Outliers was also a fascinating book and gave me the confidence I needed to get my ds deferred from starting school. It was a long drawn out battle but I won my case. He turned five yesterday and is starting school this September. Ready for it.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective people was great if you have insomnia, I found.

Secret Hunters - Ranulph Fiennes - made me consider what it was like being an ordinary person growing up in Nazi Germany and how you would react. ‘The Book Thief’ reminded me of this book in that respect also.

How to Talk so Kids will listen. I read this when my first DC was about 18 months old and realised I was sleep walking into the same crappy parenting I had experienced as a child. (Nothing too awful just a lot of dysfuntion around food, punishment and no shoes of affection). It really woke me up to how important it was to think about how you speak to children.

A Thousand Splendid Suns. It was the first book I read that made me realise I had read a pile of utter shite until then. My reading tastes have really changed since. Also of course it gave me such an insight into what are now very current and horrific things going on in Afghanistan.

And I am another big fan of Matt Haig - Reasons to stay alive is so insightful and even though I have not suffered depression as severe as he describes - it really gives you a different perspective on mental health. One of my favourite quotes is written in many places around my home. “Depression is also smaller than you. Always, it is smaller than you, even when it feels vast. It operates within you, you do not operate within it. It may be a dark cloud passing across the sky but - if that is the metaphor - you are the sky. You were there before it. And the cloud can't exist without the sky, but the sky can exist without the cloud.”

Sorry - I realise that many people ahve posted about all of the books I mentioned! Does anyone else get a bit evangelical when they get the chance to talk about a book they've loved?!

How to talk so kids will listen... Gave me tools to how to approach my children. My dh didn't read it but has listened s to me talk about it and see how it worked with me and so eventually started using the same techniques.

Invisible women

Coalesced how I was feeling with work and in the change when I went back to work after maternity leave. Showed me that these things are not just in my head.

How To Raise Your Spirited Child
DS was about 3 or 4 and INCREDIBLY difficult. (He later got a diagnosis of an ASC) I was on my knees dealing with him. DD was under a year old. I'd asked for help from my HV which resulted in me being told to buy 123 Magic. 123 Magic nearly broke me - DS couldn't cope with being 'counted'. I was in a supermarket, DD screeching in the trolley because she wasn't actually attached to my body and DS was trying to abscond. I was on the edge of tears. A lady came over, stroked my arm and handed me a piece of paper with the title on. I bought the book. Some of it was absolute bunkum but somehow it helped.
Also How To Talk so Your Kids will listen. Made a huge difference to how I dealt with DS. Also helped my teaching and I still use the approaches as a TA while working with children needing support.

Fiction wise The Liveship Traders purely because it cemented my love of fantasy spell and sword style books.

How to talk so your kids will listen is going to be my holiday reading, so many glowing recommendations on here.

The Matt Haig book sounds intriguing... is he a fiction or non fiction writer (and expert?)- he seems to be a bit of both?

@Bluebellsinparadise he does do both. His non fiction is about mental health and we’ll being but in a very every day way.

I’ve only read The Midnight Library of his fiction and it was superb. Not all of his fiction gets great reviews but I do generally like his writing style.

Sorry, meant to say, his first book is about his own experiences with severe depression interspersed with what he finds helpful.

I read How To Talk when Dc were small and it was great. But I really wish I had reread it or read the teenage version when they were teens because I definitely got rusty and fell into lecturing habits and knowing better habits and not properly listening. I regret that.

@ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff

Thanks for this thread! I had 4 audible credits to use before I cancel and I've gone for -

Feel the Fear
Badass one
Atomic Habits

I need a fourth. I struggle with sticking to stuff (including listening to audibles). I'm also nearly 40 and single and feel like I'm just drifting along watching other people live their lives I.e entering into relationships, having kids (though I don't want that) progressing up the career ladder etc etc. I feel like nothing great ever happens to me. Nothing majorly bad, there's a lot of people worse off than me, but I need a hand to lift it up so to speak.

Could also do with less drinking alcohol/mindless eating.

Any audible suggestions apart from actual therapy?!!

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
Talking Sh*t by Paul Mort
Not a life coach by James Smith

If you’re on Instagram, look at @aneed2read Ed Cunningham.
His whole purpose is to recommend books for these sorts of situations.

Thanks @Whatliesbeneath707 I'll check those recommendations out. I started following aneed2read after the recommendation earlier up the thread.

@Whatliesbeneath707 - if nothing else takes your fancy, you could try I Dare Me by Luann Cahn. It's a book by a middle aged woman who felt life was passing her by so she did one thing she'd never done before every day for a year. I stumbled on it when I was - by chance - trying to do the same thing and looking for inspiration. She has a massive advantage in that she has a very glam job as a TV anchor in teh US so lots of access to people who will give her a chance to try new things, but one of my favourites was a you tube video she posted of herself dancing in her own kitchen. She'd never done it before and it was such a happy clip. Might give you some ideas on how to shake life up. I need to do something similar again. I did it years ago and it was great but the last two years have been so tough.

How to have difficult conversations was one I read recently which blew my mind at the seemingly obvious things it was pointing out but which had never occurred to me. I have had much more productive conversations at work and with DH since then.
How to talk so kids will listen was also excellent and, for parenting DS, The Explosive Child was a game changer.

Thanks @PhoboPhobia I will give Matt Haig a go! Maybe start with the novel midnight library for some lighter reading after all the non-fiction!

Just to say I've started reading You're a Badass and I'm really enjoying it so far.

Woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown by Lorna Martin - I loved this book I think it came from her newspaper column. The title is a bit offputting but it is a great read. Demonstrates that therapy can work.

Forgot the link
www.goodreads.com/book/show/2314579.Woman_on_the_Verge_of_a_Nervous_Breakdown

@Bluebellsinparadise

Thanks *@PhoboPhobia* I will give Matt Haig a go! Maybe start with the novel midnight library for some lighter reading after all the non-fiction!

The Midnight Library is interesting. Very light easy read but fascinating ideas.