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Original poster

How much would you spend on a wedding present for this couple?

76 replies

MarcelineMissouri · 11/08/2021 22:06

I know it all depends on household finances etc but if you were going to your cousins wedding who you’re very fond of but only see once every year or two, how much would you be looking to spend on their gift? (You are also paying for 2 nights in a hotel for the wedding)

OP posts:
HerMammy · 11/08/2021 23:33

£150/200.

CoffeeTopUp · 11/08/2021 23:35

@Roundearth

are u both eating at the main wedding event if so, I give £200
I don’t think this is relevant at all. People should invite people to their wedding because they want to celebrate with them. Wedding gifts aren’t payment for your meal, they’re a token. People should only give what they can afford, or a bottle of something, or just a card. If you can afford £200 that’s great, but it’s an amount many people would struggle to be able to give, especially on top of travel and hotel costs.
Crabsy · 11/08/2021 23:39

We didn’t receive £200 off anyone other than our parents Blush unless you move in some pretty well off circles I’d say this is way too much

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Weddings
MrsMiddleMother · 12/08/2021 00:05

£50 - £100

ExpressDelivery · 12/08/2021 00:13

£50

Roundearth · 12/08/2021 00:15

@CoffeeTopUp I find it completely relevant if someone has paid for me to drink and eat all day I'd expect to pay at least mostly towards my own costs

DietrichandDiMaggio · 12/08/2021 00:38

[quote Roundearth]@CoffeeTopUp I find it completely relevant if someone has paid for me to drink and eat all day I'd expect to pay at least mostly towards my own costs[/quote]
I'd only expect to pay £100 a head at a pretty fancy restaurant where I have full choice of what I eat.

MrsPumpkinSeed · 12/08/2021 00:40

About 150 to 180

DietrichandDiMaggio · 12/08/2021 00:40

Also, hopefully couples set their budget according to what they can afford, not what they think they can recoup from their guests.

Redwinestillfine · 12/08/2021 00:46

£50

Ideasplease322 · 12/08/2021 01:07

I gave each of my cousins £100, and attended alone.

The rule of thumb where I am from is you cover your meal then add a little more. Depending on hat you can afford of course.

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 12/08/2021 03:02

£40-50

twinningatlife · 12/08/2021 03:32

@PurpleDaisies

Paying for the hotel is irrelevant.

My standard wedding gift is £50-£100.

Actually I do factor in whether I have to travel for weddings - they get less than if it's a local one
LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 12/08/2021 03:46

Assuming its an all day big bash...
For me £100pp minimum
(It was £50pp in around 2010?! )

At my cousind weeding 3 years ago we gave 400 euro.
This is pretty standard in ireland.
But pay what you can afford i wasnt borhered by what i received at our wedding.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 12/08/2021 03:48

The typos 😱
I blame my phone and the fact it's the middle of the night

Suzi888 · 12/08/2021 03:48

£50-£100.

BarbaraofSeville · 12/08/2021 04:50

@DietrichandDiMaggio

Also, hopefully couples set their budget according to what they can afford, not what they think they can recoup from their guests.
Exactly. What if they decided to have their wedding at The Ritz. Would people give more as a gift than if it was in their garden with a pizza truck?

That's a ridiculous way to decide how much to give.

I think £50 is plenty, but your comparitive circumstances are also relevant.

If they're just starting out and you're comfortable, it's probably reasonable to give them more than if they're in high paying jobs and you're struggling to make ends meet.

CoffeeTopUp · 12/08/2021 07:36

[quote Roundearth]@CoffeeTopUp I find it completely relevant if someone has paid for me to drink and eat all day I'd expect to pay at least mostly towards my own costs[/quote]
Would you/ did you expect that of guests at your own wedding? If that’s how you like to do things that’s fine and relevant to you, but it’s not a rule people need to think about when working out how much to give as a gift. So it is irrelevant generally.

People should give what they can afford. Most people don’t have massive disposable incomes. £200 could be their food budget for the month. On top of paying for travel and a hotel, some people might not be able to afford to even give a gift at all. The money spent on food and entertainment at the wedding doesn’t need to be a factor in the decision making.

LemonRoses · 12/08/2021 07:58

£100-£150

Hopdathelf · 12/08/2021 08:06

£150-200.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 12/08/2021 08:10

Depends, we don’t gift cash so would be an actual gift. If a first wedding about £50 unless it involved an expensive stay or bar. Subsequent weddings a bottle and card if we attended.

Roundearth · 12/08/2021 08:41

@CoffeeTopUp depends who the guest was. if it was my friends who I know earn very well, and spend that sort of money on their own nights out hen yes I would expect them to do that.. (although I would never say anything to them or demand it, just me a bit surprised if they didn't offer that much)

for others such as some members of my family who are on very low income I would have been happy with just a card

CeeceeBloomingdale · 12/08/2021 08:43

£30-50 would be the norm in my area/circles

HeronLanyon · 12/08/2021 08:46

Round about £100 if you can afford that. a bit more if certain it is something they really want.
All dependant on finançâtes etc. For many that would be out of reach and said cousin would I trust be aware and not expect as much at all. For lots just being at a wedding would be lovely partic when it involves paying for overnight stays. And for many overnight stays would mean you just couldn’t accept the invite. As long as there’s no embarrassment, entitlement, unreasonableness, pressure etc. No one can afford that !

Mybobowler · 12/08/2021 09:02

The idea of giving a gift as "paying" to attend a wedding is totally bizarre to me. Is this an unspoken rule that I wasn't aware of? I can't imagine inviting my loved ones to a party and then expecting them to pay an entry fee!

OP, £50 - £100 is my general ballpark for wedding gifts, but I tend to buy actual presents rather than give cash. That's partly because most of the weddings I've attended in recent years have been for people significantly better off than me, and giving them cash has felt really weird. They don't need my money, but a thoughtful present seems appropriate.