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The belongings you lost in a break-up

42 replies

NoEffingWaytoSurvive · 10/08/2021 20:16

Shamelessly nicked from the Guardian (linked below) https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jul/30/i-never-saw-my-guitar-again-readers-on-belongings-they-lost-in-a-breakup?CMP=ShareiOSAppp_Other but it made me think about the stuff I have lost in the process of relationship break-downs.

An ex-boyfriend took my DVD copy of Leon. I text him to ask for it back but he never replied. Still bitter.

Ex-h has a houseful but I miss my food processor and a chest of drawers my Dad gave me. I can't take it because it won't get through the door in my new house but I loved it, it's the nicest pine and useful too.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 10/08/2021 20:18

The house.

The Christmas card and gift spreadsheet.

RubyGoat · 10/08/2021 20:20

An adjustable dressmaking mannequin that had previously been my grandmother’s, it was older than me.

Lifeisbeautiful01 · 10/08/2021 20:22

Everything apart from my bed and dog. I only needed them thank God! If he’s kept the dog I would have gone ballistic!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 10/08/2021 20:26

DVD of American Werewolf in London

A coat

My dignity

LynnInAVan · 10/08/2021 20:28

A lot of money

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/08/2021 20:28

12 years of my life

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2021 20:28

I had a whole caseload of very expensive vinyl from exH in my place for months which I did return (rather than sell or burn the lucky arsehole). And he kept one of my favourite people Sad

Madamswearsalot · 10/08/2021 20:34

I gave too much up in a previous breakdown - the guilt made me leave it. Months later, ex was living with mutual friends and I popped in to say Happy Christmas to them. There in the living room, proudly on display, were my Christmas tree, decs and lights. He didn't even like Christmas!

Took me a little while to forgive myself for my guilty generosity. I don't think I've ever forgiven him for being an awful boyfriend.

Pebbledashery · 10/08/2021 20:37

I left everything behind. Absolutely everything. My daughter and I fled domestic abuse, a social worker called me one day and told me to run as far as I could away from him, I was in the house at the time and it was 1 hour until he got home from work. The sheer panic of throwing everything into bin bags. Left with 3 bin bags and a suitcase of my daughters clothes and toys, grabbed what I could off the washing line for me and ran.. The bastard has never allowed me to go back and get my belongings... But I'm glad, I still don't have many clothes. But I started from scratch and now have our own house with our own stuff.
Just seeing your thread title has made me think how far we've come x

lachy · 10/08/2021 20:43

Everything.

I left with the clothes I had on, and my handbag. I eventually got some clothes back, but nothing else.

It took me a long time to get over losing everything I'd worked so hard for, but many years down the line it's thankfully a distant memory.

caringcarer · 10/08/2021 20:49

My ex took our joint cd collection including artist he hated. I asked for them back and he laughed and said he had binned them. I was so angry. I got my own back I sold his jig saw, power drill, angle grinder and about 3 other tools I don't even remember what they were. Spent money replacing my cd's.

pinkflamingo21 · 10/08/2021 20:51

He binned ALL my clothes 😩

BestestBrownies · 10/08/2021 20:57

Similar to pp - literally everything I owned bar a couple of suitcases with clothes/shoes and a folder with important personal documents (passport, birth certificate, qualifications). I spent months preparing my escape and that included actively detaching from material possessions I knew were impossible to take with me.

MrsG30 · 10/08/2021 21:00

I have never lost anything, but my brother left his abusive ex with the clothes on his back. Lost everything material, we are all just grateful he never lost his life.

Graymare · 10/08/2021 21:05

My books.
However the things that really mattered to me and that I had treasured since childhood he had already destroyed. Pure spite and also a way of showing me he knew how to control me.

piratehugs · 10/08/2021 21:09

My teenage boyfriend was an arsehole. He buggered off with £30, an orange mug and a signed copy of my then favourite book. I bought a new copy of the book and nicked the mug back from his flat while he was out. I still use that mug now, 25 years later. Not holding out much hope for the £30 though!

DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat · 10/08/2021 21:17

A large box of vinyl, including gatefolds of Led Zeppelin III and Magical Mystery Tour, amongst others, some worth a good few hundred pounds each. I asked for them back a few times but not was the only control he had left so I never got them. It’s not the nostalgia or even the money but the fact my DDs would bloody love to have them to play. I try not to think about it too often.

ineedtostop · 10/08/2021 21:19

I fled my abusive husband taking nothing except my musical instrument, music stand and sheet music (the tools of my trade), a couple of bin bags of clothes for me and the children, one each of my two children's favourite cuddly toys, a photo album of my babies, and my favourite saucepan and knife (I love cooking). I left the house that I co-owned (and eventually signed it over to him just to get free), I left my car, I left every book, memento, piece of furniture, ornament, everything that was precious to me, and made a new life.
20 years later, I have a beautiful home, successful career, happy marriage, two children I am very proud of, and now grandchildren. He lived in a council bedsit, with only a passing relationship with his children.
But the kicker in this story is that he died recently and it came to light that all these years he was renting a storage unit full of those possessions of mine. He would rather pay 20 years rent on a storage unit than let me have a few treasured things. And you know what? Now my children and I can get those things, and not one of them do we want. Nothing. The things that seemed so important ended up meaningless. It's all gone to charity and the tip. That life was done 20 years ago and even when it could be reclaimed, it turned out it really was totally done. Things mean nothing in comparison to the lived life.
It's been very liberating.

DailyMaui · 10/08/2021 21:27

When my ex and I split up he kept presents that he had given me for various birthdays. I was furious, and tempted to break in and get them. I really wanted my vintage Russian spy camera back.

But the worst thing was he kept my dog. Heartbreaking.

gerbilfur · 10/08/2021 22:08

An amazing grey city print chair.

My ds's baby book with my scan pics in it. Fucker wouldn't let me have it.

My Hetty hoover.

BPdanny · 11/08/2021 00:41

He tried to take the lot.
Got some and my total indifference to him.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 11/08/2021 00:57

Walked out of my first marriage with the clothes on my back, but kept my set of front door keys to our house. Waited until ex-h was away on holiday, went back in and took everything of mine, and an awful lot of what was "ours"

Hen2018 · 11/08/2021 01:34

Lost most of it on the third day I was in a refuge (though I didn’t know it at the time). He even took all my clothes and the children’s clothes and the garden shed. He hired a van.

violetbunny · 11/08/2021 09:23

A Le Creuset casserole dish

NoEffingWaytoSurvive · 11/08/2021 09:58

@violetbunny I still harbour resentment over the perfect leon lasagne dish, they don't make it anymore, and I have yet to find one that is anywhere near as good. The lasagne sheets fitted like a dream!

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