The belongings you lost in a break-up

[NoEffingWaytoSurvive]

Shamelessly nicked from the Guardian (linked below) https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jul/30/i-never-saw-my-guitar-again-readers-on-belongings-they-lost-in-a-breakup?CMP=ShareiOSAppp_Other but it made me think about the stuff I have lost in the process of relationship break-downs.

An ex-boyfriend took my DVD copy of Leon. I text him to ask for it back but he never replied. Still bitter.

Ex-h has a houseful but I miss my food processor and a chest of drawers my Dad gave me. I can't take it because it won't get through the door in my new house but I loved it, it's the nicest pine and useful too.

[quote NoEffingWaytoSurvive]@violetbunny I still harbour resentment over the perfect leon lasagne dish, they don't make it anymore, and I have yet to find one that is anywhere near as good. The lasagne sheets fitted like a dream![/quote]
I feel your pain!

He kept a gold locket from my grandmother. Loads of my clothes, heels and very expensive lingerie. A life-sized polar bear Teddy I got as a gift from my parents (they won it) my dogs would absolutely love that Teddy. My treasured horror movie dvd collection. A gorgeous teal hookah I got as a gift from some friends. My passport, paperwork, photo albums and letters from friends.
He gave me the run around for ages, then one day I called him and his mum answered. She said someone had broken in and stolen a handheld games console that was in a bag by the front door and it must have been me! Logically and logistically it made absolutely no sense, but I was so shocked and hurt by the random accusations I don't even remember what I said. Something about my bras costing far more than that so why would I steal something cheap, broken and now third hand rather than getting my things back. She started screaming and I hung up in tears.

I left with 2 suitcases and 2 kids. Never looked back.

Although I was sad about my Chalet School books.

The 3 DCs baby photo albums. I dont have any copies or negs of the pics ☹️

Ive asked for them a few times over the years (through the DDs who are now in their early 20s) but nothing comes of it. I’m so cross with myself I didn’t grab them when I left but it was all a bit of a panic.

My only consolation is that he is nothing to the DCs. He’s acted like a cunt all his life and now is reaping what he sewed. The DCs are basically all mine as they have been from the start really 🙂

Pretty much everything, from my second marriage. Fleeing domestic abuse, in another country. I knew I had to leave everything, so had detached myself from all but the bits I took. My entire record collection is still there, as are some beautiful pieces of furniture.
From my first marriage…the house and garden!

The Swiss cheese plant.

I'd left him in the flat with everything, the divorce was trundling ahead and I'd submitted a list of things I'd like back from the flat. He agreed everything but the Swiss cheese plant.

We were both so stubborn he eventually refused to let me have anything. He stayed in the flat, ran up the utility bills, took out a loan in my name and eventually lurked off. Leaving a dead Swiss cheese plant and a teddy bear with a knife through it's head.

I lost teeth and the face I grew up with.

And pretty much everything else.

Left an abusive relationship of 30 years. He ended up with the house and most of its contents, furniture, pictures and ornaments, books, household goods, virtually everything. I bought most of the decorative stuff and furniture - sofa/ armchair/ dining table and chairs etc, but only managed to salvage some bits and pieces like a few books. Ironically 6 years later the books are still there but never touched.
He did give me a cash payment for part of the house but it was nowhere near the correct valuation. I felt stupidly guilty accepting it as I've moved on, newish (5 years) dp, nice house of my own, actually happy for the first time in years and he hasn't, still single, miserable and bitter.

I'd be bitter about Leon too OP When I left my ex many years ago, our final row was about our CD collection especially the Christina Aguilera 'Stripped' album it was MINE I managed to sneak into the house when he was at work and remove the cd from its case - he was fuming months later when he discovered it was missing

A DVD copy of Series 2 of Peep Show. It was in a box set, so even when I replaced it, it didn’t match the others. Was cross about it for the ten years it took before no one used DVDs anymore and we went digital and threw therm all out.

@Pebbledashery

I left everything behind. Absolutely everything. My daughter and I fled domestic abuse, a social worker called me one day and told me to run as far as I could away from him, I was in the house at the time and it was 1 hour until he got home from work. The sheer panic of throwing everything into bin bags. Left with 3 bin bags and a suitcase of my daughters clothes and toys, grabbed what I could off the washing line for me and ran.. The bastard has never allowed me to go back and get my belongings... But I'm glad, I still don't have many clothes. But I started from scratch and now have our own house with our own stuff. Just seeing your thread title has made me think how far we've come x

Sorry to hear. This

We also fled with a suitcase :(

@ineedtostop

I fled my abusive husband taking nothing except my musical instrument, music stand and sheet music (the tools of my trade), a couple of bin bags of clothes for me and the children, one each of my two children's favourite cuddly toys, a photo album of my babies, and my favourite saucepan and knife (I love cooking). I left the house that I co-owned (and eventually signed it over to him just to get free), I left my car, I left every book, memento, piece of furniture, ornament, everything that was precious to me, and made a new life. 20 years later, I have a beautiful home, successful career, happy marriage, two children I am very proud of, and now grandchildren. He lived in a council bedsit, with only a passing relationship with his children. But the kicker in this story is that he died recently and it came to light that all these years he was renting a storage unit full of those possessions of mine. He would rather pay 20 years rent on a storage unit than let me have a few treasured things. And you know what? Now my children and I can get those things, and not one of them do we want. Nothing. The things that seemed so important ended up meaningless. It's all gone to charity and the tip. That life was done 20 years ago and even when it could be reclaimed, it turned out it really was totally done. Things mean nothing in comparison to the lived life. It's been very liberating.

This story 😢

So glad you ended up in a better position

@ineedtostop your story has given me a fresh perspective on my leaving my exdh. It was a planned but secret getaway. I had to leave a lot behind. I see now that I too, would have zero use for any of it. All replaced years ago.
You have given me much food for thought. Thank you for sharing your story.

My GCSE and A Level certificates. There's no way I could afford to pay to get copies, as they were with random boards and the cost is prohibitive when you don't know exactly what ones they were taken with, so have to pay all boards on the offchance (my school closed and they only had to hold records until I was 25 anyhow, so I can't get any information about them either).

A mint copy of Dark Side of the Moon, complete with the stickers. He hated Floyd.

My childhood toy, a raggedy brown furry rabbit puppet called Fivver.

Every photo that had been taken of me, DD and a framed one of my grandparents - the only one in existence - along with DD's first clothes and shoes. He sold those.

A musical jewellery box by Granddad had given me for my 19th birthday (I didn't get birthday presents as my mother didn't believe in them, so it was extra special) that also contained a cheap little gold 18 key pendant my sister had given me.

All of my tools in a toolbox, including the perfect set square that I had made in metalwork aged 13 and was as good as any you could buy. He doesn't do DIY, never has, never will.

And yet he still wailed about my taking everything he had because I kept my flat, albeit with the fridge, cooker, sofa, chest of drawers, carpet and the fucking bed removed when I was out, seeking legal advice about keeping him out/changing the locks because I'd woken up the previous night to him dismantling the bed from underneath me.

They all paled into insignificance compared to the one other thing he took and refused to give back for five years, though. Our daughter.

@NeverDropYourMooncup I'm so sorry. I hope you and your DD are in a better place now x

I left my ex with what I could fit in my car. Domestic abuse situation.

So I left behind a houseful of furniture and possessions. I left in a hurry but remembered the outfits both my babies wore home from the hospital. I wish I had more of their newborn bits though. I also miss some of my books I’d had since childhood.

Still, at the end of the day, tis only stuff. And it was a small price to pay for getting away from him.

All my furniture for a very paltry sum as I felt guilty for ending it, and I was moving in with my parents, in hindsight should've kept it all and just put it in storage!