Why am I so angry?

[RangerMummy1]

I'm so angry with everyone and everything, all the time...I shout at the kids, snap at my partner, quietly seethe at work colleagues, am ridiculously annoyed by other drivers, the list goes on and on...what the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I be more patient, understanding and calm? I haven't always been like this...maybe not the most patient of people but not like this. Not sure what I'm expecting from MN here, guess just hoping someone might be able to relate.

Oh god I was actually about to compose a near identical post and ask for anger management tips. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve not always been like this either. When I’m not angry I’m (usually) considerate and kind and tolerant - then suddenly it’s like a switch and I’m like a different person

I feel like this sometimes. For me it’s an effect of everyone relying on me for everything all the damn time. At least it feels like it like today, I asked my family to leave me alone for twenty minutes and went up to my room. Three people came in, a total of five times.

‘Oh but you just have to ask if you want some space. Sure I do… argh!!

Could it be lack of sleep? I always feel less patient if I haven't slept well.

Stress? Depression?

Are you likely to be anywhere near menopause? I think that can cause mood issues and irritation.

Mittens Coil?

Mirena (bloody auto correct!)

How old are you? I became much angrier when I was perimenopausal (I've calmed down a lot since being on hrt)

Check out something called miracle morning, worth the read. Will help with mindset, the meditation element helps.

Also the book "the chimp paradox" gives a good perspective on feelings and anger manage

Oh wow I wasn't expecting such a flurry of responses, thank you x
I'm sure sleep, or not enough, plays a part but I don't think I'm any more sleep deprived than any other mums (2 ds, ages 3 & 7).
I'm 44, and have been wondering if I might be perimenopausal...

@AirEngland exactly how I feel. I can think rationally and tell myself that I just need to deal with whatever comes, then something (usually minor) flicks the switch and I'm awful again

I have no kids to worry about. DH is a gem. I have a good job, which I enjoy. I live in a nice place. I am very lucky indeed.
I am still angry and raging and it's getting worse. I think it's perimenopause; I'm very late 30s and I have almost come to the point where I can't watch the news anymore because of ire!

@RH1234 not heard of either of those, will look them up. Thanks x

@RangerMummy1 can I ask do you have history of mental health issues? I ask this as I had very similar symptoms to you but also had experienced mental health issues when in my teens. Now on anti depressants for life.

It could be peri menopause symptoms. Ask your doctor for a blood test to access if you are in peri menopause.

Peri menopause, vitamin deficiency can all contribute to feeling like this so ask to have a blood test to check.

Menopause?

You are losing the nice hormones and becoming angry kinda like men

No Time for pandering bullshit

I was going to say it could be perimenopause. I slept very poorly but had to function in a high stress and responsibility job. I think that took all my energy. I found myself yelling at other drivers (in my car, they didn't here) and generally feeling annoyed.

I had HRT but not for long as it corresponded with the freak out about breast cancer and people were horrified if you took it.

I think also we are so bombarded with negative news about things we really can't do much as individuals to change/fix that we get frustrated and angry. I know I do. The media is full of hyperbole and very little balanced discussion.

I hope you feel better soon.

I’d suggest seeing your doctor for some blood tests.

My immediate thoughts were peri menopause (or menopause), depression, anxiety or an autoimmune condition. Good idea to rule out anything causing it and seeing what you can do to help you get more sleep because lack of sleep alone can cause all kinds of issues.

@doitwithlove no history of mental health issues. Hope you are feeling better now 💐 I think I need to find out a bit more about peri menopause and what I can do to improve things if that's what's going on

Sounds like I need to brave a trip to the docs for some answers...yet another thing to make me angry...its super difficult to get an appointment there at the minute and its usually with a locum ...and last time I mentioned menopause to someone there she scoffed at me and said in no uncertain terms that I'm not menopausal (not sure what she based that diagnosis on as she hadn't done any tests or even listened to my concerns). Anyway...now I'm ranting...
If it is early stages of menopause/ perimenopause is there anything I can take/ do? Guessing its likely too early for HRT?

Agree sounds like peri menopause to me ( sounds like me)

I started HRT at 47, you might have to wait until after 45

Don’t give up. We had a training afternoon at work on menopause, it was really interesting and helpful.

Most GP practices have some menopause specialists. I was exactly like you mrs angry, snappy and sometimes tearful. The first time I unconfidently and casually asked a male GP and he was very dismissive. The next time i saw a female doctor who specialises in women’s health she was lovely and I got some patches which really helped. But I was early 50’s.

Take care OP

My local hospital has a menopause clinic. by GP referral. Worth checking

There’s an interesting article by Caitlin Moran (sp?) about this sort of anger. Makes for interesting reading if you can find it.