I thought National Trust were child and dog friendly places?

[copernicium]

Visited a NT property and feel quite put off visiting again...

"Move those children away, they are wild animals you know" (even though adults were standing much closer) ... I did give the man the benefit of the doubt on safety grounds even though I didn't see an issue.

But then we tried to enter the area allocated for picnics at 11:54 - to be told we couldn't enter before noon with a dog.

Ok fair enough, so we snuck up a corner to let DC eat a sandwich sitting in the pram - to be told no picnics allowed.

So then we go and hover near to the picnic area, to be told to move the dog away from the entrance until noon. It must have been 11:59 by now.

Finally, time to enter the "picnic area" - to be looked up and down, this time at the dog and the lady said quite abruptly "is that what you call a short lead?" It's a 90cm lead, and nowhere in the admission details is this mentioned. She was trying to turn us away from the area because of the length of the dogs lead. Finally won that argument and allowed to pass.

By this point DC are very hangry so we pass through to the picnic area as quickly as possible, for a lady to stop us and say DC must move to the centre of the path in case they fall on the flowers and ruin them. They were walking quietly and sensibly, holding our hands, with no hint that they might suddenly run or fall on the flowers.

I know it was only a few comments, but it just felt like I couldn't do anything right all day, and that DC and dog were both very unwelcome. Arm I going to regret having membership?

I've had this with places I've visited one was extremely rude my youngest is not neuro typical at all he was holding tight to my arm they came tromping over to demand I keep my children under control I pointed out mine was go find the owners to the ones running riot im not responsible for everyone else's children 😅 she did apologise for her mistake but FFS

A sandwich isn't a snack. You know that. You decided to feed them their picnic lunch because in your mind the rules didn't apply to you.

Have you considered that maybe you received multiple comments because your behaviour crossed the line multiple times?

You let small children wander close to wild animals that could have seriously hurt them without warning - and are complaining that somebody else intervened to keep them safe? If you didn't see the issue with it then clearly you needed to be told.

You knew there was a designated picnic area but decided to eat your picnic outside of it anyway. For the sake of 6 minutes.

You expected to be allowed to enter somewhere before opening time.

You took a dog somewhere with deer and don't understand why they were paying close attention to the appropriateness of the lead.

The only part where you might have a point was about the flower beds, but given your exaggerated description of everything else I'm not sure I really believe your version.

Caring for the safety of children is hardly unwelcoming. I can't believe you've actually written to complain because somebody tried to keep your children safe.

If you were as disrespectful and snippy to all these volunteers as you sound then they may well have become abrupt - I mean in the space of less than 6 minutes you decided to break 3 rules because you didn't see why they should apply to you. It doesn't give people a great impression if you want them to trust that you're a responsible dog owner for instance. They don't know you, only the behaviour they've seen from you.

But the cumulative effect of every staff member I came into contact with on my first visit there, made me feel rather unwanted.
If over a day every staff member has had to mention things to you, is there not a chance there might have been a reason to?

One or two grumpy people is part of life, having the misfortune of encountering a jobsworth is something most people would encounter at some point, but several staff at different times seems quite unfortunate if there were no grounds to speak to you.

Weird. You are upset about 5 measly minutes. My DC never got “hangry” waiting from 11:55 to 12:00 for a picnic area to open. It’s petty to let that ruin your day.

The other comments I’m not even going to address as they’re ridiculous. If a deer had charged your child, you’d be complaining the NT man didn’t warn you off...seems he can’t win because he did warn you.

I cancelled my NT membership because of how dog unfriendly they are. Used to be you weren’t allowed in the gardens but were allowed in the parkland or “ grounds”. Then changed to only allowed in the car parks, at least at the ones I was visiting.
Small, very well behaved dog always on a short lead.
So changed membership to English Heritage who are far more welcoming & dog friendly

@Darklane NT and EH properties are generally quite different though. It’s very difficult to balance and visitors can’t necessarily see the problems that dogs cause - I say that as a dog owner. Lots of visitors don’t like dogs, dogs cause huge damage to formal bedding, grass burns from urine, illness to cattle from dogs chasing/eating dog poo. You may well have the best behaved dog but lots of people don’t.

A few weeks ago I went to Allan Bank and the path up had dog poo stuffed all in the gaps in stone wall. Quite often there isn’t the resources to deal with the damage dogs cause.

No dog here, but I've been taking small children to NT places for a fair few years now and mostly not had the experience you describe. I have had the odd volunteer leap across the room, anxiously anticipating that my child (quiet, calm, holding my hand) must be about to TOUCH SOMETHING, which is irksome because he bloody wouldn't and I wouldn't let him and everything about the way we were quietly moving around, slowly, holding hands, keeping plenty of distance from the furniture, should have made that obvious - but I can imagine children (and adults!!) touching stuff they ought not is a regular occurrence for them. I've had many more volunteers be really friendly to my children and help them find a way to engage with the property.

I'm struggling to think of any outside place I've been in where it's not been permissible to let a child eat in a pushchair! That seems a bit excessive. I take the point of PPs about it only being 6 mins, but my pushchair-aged children would have found 6 mins a very long time if they had been expecting to eat immediately, and I don't think that's so unusual. Assuming the food-in-buggy wasn't ostentatious, I'd have thought a blind eye could be turned to that.

‘A sandwich isn't a snack‘

Is that the law?
Personally I would say a snack was anything that’s smaller than a meal that you eat outside normal meal times.

People always seem to say they only have ‘small and well behaved dogs’ but the rules apply to ALL dogs. They can’t have a rule that ‘big naughty dogs are not allowed in this property’ because nobody thinks they have a big naughty dog.

No dog but do have young DC and have never experienced this at any NT site in Yorkshire. Think we’ve visited them all now and all have been fine. You should contact NT and put in a complaint, all sounds rather pedantic.

@PlanDeRaccordement

Weird. You are upset about 5 measly minutes. My DC never got “hangry” waiting from 11:55 to 12:00 for a picnic area to open. It’s petty to let that ruin your day.

The other comments I’m not even going to address as they’re ridiculous. If a deer had charged your child, you’d be complaining the NT man didn’t warn you off...seems he can’t win because he did warn you.

Blimey my DS would have thought he was being starved if I made him wait after showing him the food (as if you read OP he had already been shown and was potentially starting to eat). Not all DC are the same!

People always seem to say they only have ‘small and well behaved dogs’ but the rules apply to ALL dogs. They can’t have a rule that ‘big naughty dogs are not allowed in this property’ because nobody thinks they have a big naughty dog
Cynically I think a few people deliberately confused size and well-behaved.

If the behaviour of dogs when I've taken mine out is anything to go by, there's an awful lot of small dogs who are yappy/badly behaved but their owners seem to think their dog is well behaved because they're on a lead or on an extendable lead. When I've been at NT and similar places I've seen lots of small dogs pulling at the end of their leads, yapping, allowed to approach my picnic table/dogs/DC and their owner seems to think that their dog is under control.

Unless I'm on the dog boards, we don't tend to hear of calm big dogs who are quite content to walk next to their owners on mumsnet.

That’s so, so true Lola.
Dh is not keen on dogs for various reasons. If he gets jumped up on he will generally ask the owner to keep their dog under control. A number of times the owner has found it completely hilarious that a great big man has used that language when their dog is so small it couldn’t hurt a fly, etc.

Sorry op, going slightly off the subject there.

I think I only mentioned this because someone asked if my dog looked scary...
By small, I meant not massive. She is certainly not a little yappy one either (and I get just as annoyed by dog owners who let their dogs jump up you!)

And regarding the "five measly minutes", it wasn't even ok it's 12, you're in, eat now - there was still a trek to the allowed field! Lolling at the arguments about what constitutes a snack - my point was, I didn't get out the picnic blanket and all the food, saying "sod the rules, I shall have my picnic" I pulled out a toddler sized cut sandwich and put DC in buggy.

I wouldn't take a dog to NT property at all, far too many variables. Leave your dog at home.