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Original poster

I think I might be pregnant - how do I break the news?

73 replies

WhatCrazyiness · 06/08/2021 13:35

I think I could be pregnant.

The reason I say might is because I also could be peri-menopausal and also the covid vaccine has messed up my periods for the first time in my life.

I'm stuck at work, so can't get a test until later and won't test until tomorrow morning.

I would keep the baby if I was pregnant, I would love to be a parent, it's just never worked out for me love life wise - but everything else in my life is great.

The 'father' is a guy I am dating very casually for 6 months. He doesn't want children for reasons he has explained to me, but we get on very well and he is kind and decent.

If I were pregnant (and I know this is hypothetical - but please humour me because I've never been remotely close to having a child which I dearly want) I'm not sure I would tell him because I feel he would automatically hope that I would have a miscarriage (he wouldn't tell me this I'm sure) and I am a bit woo and hate the idea of any negativity/negative thoughts around a potential pregnancy.
I would wait to tell him at 12 weeks, is that crazy?
I can support and parent the baby alone, although not ideal, that's perfectly possible with my income and support network.

OP posts:
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 06/08/2021 16:22

If you are desperate for a child can you not use a sperm donor?
I hate to pee on your bonfire but I think it's unlikely you are pregnant. You say you are peri age, you used a condom and you've been vaccinated.
You sound like you are getting very carried away tbh.

newtolineofduty · 06/08/2021 16:23

Curious to know the outcome! Hope you get the result you want OP. If you're two weeks late a pregnancy test would show up tonight and very quickly so I would do it tonight rather than build your hopes up for any longer x

Original poster
WhatCrazyiness · 06/08/2021 16:23

We have had a couple of condom mishaps/not staying on (I assume most people do at some point if they regularly use condoms) nothing serious and I wouldn't assume I would be pregnant as I am over 40 and never been pregnant before.

It's the 2 week late period which has got me thinking as I'm never late (I track on an app as I'm a bit forgetful) and I am clutching at straws.

I wouldn't consider a sperm donor. I'm not interested in IVF. I'm interested in miracles Grin

OP posts:

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Original poster
WhatCrazyiness · 06/08/2021 16:26

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

If you are desperate for a child can you not use a sperm donor? I hate to pee on your bonfire but I think it's unlikely you are pregnant. You say you are peri age, you used a condom and you've been vaccinated. You sound like you are getting very carried away tbh.
Yes I am getting carried away.

A bit like those thread where people fantasise about a lottery win (I would give half to friends and family, buy myself a lovely house and a beautiful car, the rest I would invest in charity projects)

OP posts:
TakeYourFinalPosition · 06/08/2021 16:29

My Covid vaccine delayed ovulation by nearly 3 weeks, and then I got pregnant - now 20 weeks Smile

There’s not too long until tomorrow morning, and I hope you get the result that you want… I don’t think I’d be able to resist getting a two pack and testing tonight too, if you’re two weeks late; you should get a good result when without FMU now.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 06/08/2021 16:30

You're talking about a baby, with a man who doesn't want to be a father, not a bloody new car and a holiday to the Maldives.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 06/08/2021 16:31

Anyway, I hope if you get the result you want it has a happy ending for you!

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 06/08/2021 16:46

Well obviously you do need to POAS first, but I don't think it's fair to wait until 12 weeks. On here I'll likely get comments back saying it's your body ect, and it is, but if he doesn't actually want children I think the earlier he knows the more time he has to ride out his feelings. He is the father of this baby (assuming there is a baby obviously) (not the "father") and it's not really fair to only tell him a third of the way through pregnancy. In twelve weeks he has time to hate the idea, panic, be scared and then get used to it. He might even want to come to scan (obviously if you aren't together and don't want that then that will be your choice, but he might want to if hes had longer to think, and that's important. He might want come because he's got used to the idea, and then at the scan itll be real and he'll really want to be there for his child. But if he isn't even told until then hes missed out on a third of the pregnancy and the baby will be coming faster for him, and it might not seem real until later. That time could really help him.). He might not want to be involved. But he might feel like he isn't involved anyway if the mother of his child hasn't told him for so long, and if you do end up with a co parent it isn't really a good start to that relationship.

So, as you've asked, POAS and then of you are pregnant I think he should know now, not later.

But if you aren't pregnant I think he needs to know you've had a "scare" because if he really doesnt want children and you dont want to/cant use another contraception I think he needs to know that condoms aren't really working here, and that he needs to think if he wants to carry on the relationship, and is ok with it if a pregnancy does happen, or if he wants to get a vasectomy or end the relationship.

As a man all he can do is abstain, use condoms, or get a vasectomy, so he might feel that only using condoms isn't ok for him and he wants to only be in a sexual relationship with someone who is on birth control of their own to lessen the odds of pregnancy, or get a vasectomy himself now he knows theres been a real pregnancy scare, because knowing there might be and knowing there has been aren't the same.

toocold54 · 06/08/2021 16:51

Please stop getting your hopes up.
There have been numerous threads about people missing their periods after the jab. I did both times.
Try not to think about it (easier said than done) and get a test as soon as you finish.

Hen2018 · 06/08/2021 16:53

I don’t see the problem with not telling the father until 12 weeks. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until that time.

QuentinBunbury · 06/08/2021 16:54

Oh op. I worry its not what you think and you will be gutted Flowers

Fivetoomany · 06/08/2021 16:55

Op I get it! It's nice to fantasise!
I have 5 children and my husband has had the snip, we don't want anymore children.
However, period is 1 day late and I'm fantasising about which room the new baby would go in, what car would fit us all in etc.

Please buy a test, I don't think you need to wait until morning if you are already 2 weeks late.
Fingers crossed as it sounds like this is something that you want Smile

shapes1 · 06/08/2021 16:59

When are u testing OP? I hope it's positive as it sounds like u would like they outcome

2catsandhappy · 06/08/2021 16:59

Fingers and toes tightly crossed for you @WhatCrazyiness
xxx

SquashMinusIsShit · 06/08/2021 17:09

the only time I thought a condom could come off is if it's put on inside out. if DH isn't sure he blows into it to check -misses point of thread-

SecondRow · 06/08/2021 17:11

It's not unfair. There's no set timeframe. The OP herself will need time to sit with the situation and take it in, in either outcome after POAS. She is allowed to take this time to think about how her own life will be changing and who she wants to lean on for support. Yes, the child and father have a right to know each other but there is no right to be involved in pregnancy. That absolutely is at the mother's discretion.

katieg03 · 06/08/2021 17:13

When I had my jab I had my first period in 5 years and it went on for 8 weeks. So it's definitely messing with people's cycles!

LowlytheWorm · 06/08/2021 17:14

Oh I have 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻For a positive result

WetBench · 06/08/2021 17:15

If you’re 2 weeks possibly late you can test tonight, you don’t need to wait until the morning. I hope it is positive for you, but the realistic boring pet of me says jab more likely. Although it might make you rethink sperm donor and single parent.

hopeishere · 06/08/2021 17:37

Take the test now. I did the test for DS2 in work!

uncomfortablydumb53 · 06/08/2021 17:38

It's very common for the vaccine to mess with cycles, but please don't get your hopes up. I know it's hypothetical but your thoughts are taking you to babies already.. meant very kindly

WaterIsBest · 06/08/2021 17:39

Find out if you are first

I would try not to do all the ‘What ifs’

dworky · 06/08/2021 17:39

He doesn't want children yet he's impregnated you?
Do not give a thought to what his reaction will be - do what you want to do.

WaterIsBest · 06/08/2021 17:43

Dont get your hopes up

The Covid jabs messed my periods up-

Third one this month which hasnt been normal

I know many people who have been late / early
Alot heavier / lighter etc

YoungGun95 · 06/08/2021 17:48

The covid jab is really screwing with womens menstrual cycles

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