WHY do people do this - competitive martyrs

[RainyDay2020]

I recently had quite major surgery.

Before the op some people were scaring the bejaysus out of me saying things like “oh you’ll be in so much pain and be out of action for months” My MIL in particular was saying how awful I’ll feel.

However, shortly after the op those very same people all changed their tune and it turned in to this weird competition to prove that they recovered much more quickly from surgery than me (or anyone else!).

MIL in particular saying things like “I was cooking a roast dinner for a dozen people and cleaned the whole house 5 days post op” (FIL said this is bollocks as she was in hospital for 7 days )

Why do people behave this way?! It made me feel shit that I wasn’t able to do more for my kids etc. but then I remember I’m only a couple of weeks post op. My doctor actually told me off for doing too much.

The same with childbirth, some family members claiming to run 10k whilst working 100 hours a week and tandem feeding twins 4 months after birth…. well I may exaggerate but you know what I mean!!

Oh I do know what you mean, mostly my MIL, who has had every illness worse than anyone else, cooked more Christmas dinners, etc etc .
Selective memory? Insecurity? A desire to be more special than the rest of us?
Who knows, ignore them and listen to your doctor. Hope you feel better soon.

@Quickchangeartiste Yes that’s absolutely like mine!
How she cooked a 3 course Sunday dinner for 15 people an hour before giving birth to DH is a favourite story…. FIL and other family members remember it very differently, DH wasn’t even born on a Sunday FGS!!

Ooh are you my SIL ? DH BIL was near death with a heart problem a few weeks ago and she dismissed it as a bit of angina!
We get great laughs out of it though, the whole family is wise to her 😁

They do it to make you feel like shit. Wankers.

@
@Quickchangeartiste bloody hell I hope your BIL is ok?

My major surgery was likened to “yeah I had really bad tummy ache after a curry the other week” I was like WTF?!?!

@Tanfastic
They do it to make you feel like shit. Wankers.

Yep - and it does make me feel shit every time, even though I know they’re talking bollocks and I should just ignore them.

I know a lot of people like this. I think they do it to make themselves feel superior or better than you. Inwardly I fume but really we should feel sorry for them because it nearly always is bullshit.

BiL is fine thanks. He’s getting what he needs.

My exhusband worked in a war zone and it would take him 2 days to get home. My mum tried to make out she knew how he felt because the local bus service was terrible

Twats

@Quickchangeartiste glad your BIL is ok.

@Lbnc2021 that’s hilarious but awful - comparing the buses to army transport from war zone FFS

@Tanfastic yeah I alternate between being fucking angry at them and feeling a bit sorry for them that they have to come out with such nonsense.

Oh yes, OP. I know what you mean. I worked with a horrible bully many years ago who also did something like this, but it was like they aimed to make their experience shitter than yours, eg "oh I broke my ankle the other day" then they say "oh when I broke my ankle it was a compound fracture AND I broke my wrist" type of thing. We had a nickname for her at work which my friend made up:

Tommy Two-Shits

Which I still find hilarious and is an expression I use often. Tommy2 for short!

The term youre looking for is Elevenerifers. Because if you've been to Tenerife ...

@blitzen definitely Tommy 2 shits!

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale elevenerife 😂😂

You were lucky. In my day........

Unfortunately I know people like this. I don’t tell them anything now.

People just laugh at them anyway because they think their really clever lying about things but forget other people have memories too & it’s so obvious what their doing.

Not sure this counts but when I was pregnant for the first time we went out for dinner with both sets of grandparents and the conversation moved to development milestones. By the end of the conversation I'd been reason at nine months and dh walked at six months.
Our children are fantastic and amazing but developed boringly according to timescales.
Except ds was rolling at three months... Oops. I'll stop.

@VeniVidiWeeWee oh yes we got that a lot. One of my children is autistic but more than once I’ve heard “they didn’t have that in my day”

@Fluffycloudland77 I try not to tell them anything at all. As I know the competitive one-upmanship will piss me off

@StealthPolarBear
Yes if I listened to MIL it gets so ridiculous that DH was walking talking and potty trained by the time he was 5 minutes old!!

It often backfires on them. SIL had a hysterectomy earlier this year. She was constantly overdoing it and back to square one with her recovery.

Haha my mum does this, one of her favourite stories to tell is about how she was up doing things so soon after her C section

It is a bit weird, I guess people like to show off about how strong they are.

I don't understand them either op, it seems to be a case of ' look how tough I am, I'm nails me '. Pathetic.
I hope you're feeling better soon.

Btw, let me tell you about the time when my legs were hanging off but I still managed to cook a 5 course meal for twenty while juggling triplets and baking a cake for the village fête 😁................

And all these people who struggled into work with flu.

They didn't have flu.

I've recently had this with my brother. He keeps trying to one up me for some reason and recently came up with " do you even know what my family has been through in the last 2 years" - no one has any idea what the hell he is talking about.
I however in the last 3 years have lost 3 babies, watched the one that made it to birth nearly die (fine now) and have been constantly in hospital with very serious liver problems, but apparently that doesn't compare to being financially hit by covid and having your wife's family support you through. Twat

Whenever I say I'm tired, DH does the competitive tiredness thing. Apparently his tiredness from working trumps my tiredness from lack of sleep.