Little things from the past that still piss you off

[Jinxdoesit]

I split from my EXH a couple of years ago. There wasn't too much animosity and we divided our things without too much hassle when selling the house except for one item. There was a stunning Laura Ashley dining table that I had bought at a really good price in a sale, we debated over who should get it as we both really wanted it. Eventually I backed down and let him take it. I didn't think too much about it at the time, I was moving back in with my parents temporarily and didn't know where I'd end up or if I'd even have space for it so I thought fine, he could have it.

Now I'm buying a new place that it would look perfect in. I know his place isn't big enough for it and that he has stuff in storage so I assumed it was in there. I called and asked if he happened to still have it and if so and he wasn't going to be using it could I have it. Turns out, when we left our old house he gave it to the new buyers for free because they liked it!! This was just after we'd been arguing over it and he knew how much I wanted it, yet he then just turned around and gave it to someone else that he didn't even know!

I found this out a couple of months ago and now every time I'm looking at tables for my new place it pisses me right off! My EXH had this thing about being a 'nice guy' and wanted everyone to see him that way, but was worse with people he didn't really know so I know this will have just been a way of being 'such a nice guy' to the buyers of our old house rather than a spiteful act against me but it still sticks in my craw!

What small things has someone done to you that still pisses you off ages later?

When I was a young teenager my DGF was very ill, and my DGM was his carer. She needed to go out one evening and was worried about leaving him alone, so my DM volunteered me. When I arrived my DGM told me DGF was in bed and to call if there were any problems. I waited silently in the living room the whole time she was out, trying so hard not to make any noise to wake him up, and also listening so intently in case he called out. I was also terrified of him dying while I was there alone.

When I got home DM gave me a telling off “DGM tells me you didn’t go in and see DGF once! You didn’t go and say hello, you didn’t ask if he needed anything! We’re so disappointed” etc

I thought he was asleep! I was only about 13. I shouldn’t have been put in that position in the first place, but I still feel so guilty about it even now, over 20 years later.

@JimLaheysWhiskeyBottle

I was in Y5 at primary school and we had a visiting musician who had all of these wonderful string instruments, violins, cellos etc. She asked some people to volunteer to play and I was chosen to have a go at the cello. I absolutely fell in love with it. At hometime she brought it to my class and let me have another go and showed me some basics. She gave me a letter from a music school to take home about lessons, I told her that we probably couldn't afford it, but she explained that the cello would be "loaned" to me from the school and the lessons could be subsidised if she put in a recommendation. I walked home with that letter and was so unbelievably happy and excited. I felt like I could see a whole path in front of me. It was an absolute no from my parents, no discussion whatsoever, a blanket "we can't afford it". Funny how we could afford golf clubs, membership fees, green fees, competition fees, cricket bats, cricket pads, club membership and driving all over the North West for my older brother though. I never learnt to play the cello and it's still one of those deep down hurts that I have. I'm a teacher now and whenever I get the chance to support a student with a new activity, I do my best to get them the help they need to make it happen.

That's so mean. Learn to play the cello now! It's never too late.

BlueLobelia

Some friendships just become toxic and are best left behind. This friend of mine has also said some quite derogatory things about my DH. Very glad I walked away.

My son was going to a Cubs Halloween party as Darth Maul. I had made a black cape from a charity shop skirt (am rubbish at crafts/sewing) and his dad had painted his face red and black. We had also decorated his turnip lantern to match his face paint. A boy wearing a bought Scream mask and a white sheet won 😡

@Ginsmything that reminds me of something similar that happened at school.

Had an Easter challenge to make a 'scene' of something out of hen's eggs. I'm one of four and I moaned to mum 'please please please help me with this you never do anything like this ever' (poor mum) and God love her she rolled up her sleeves, and helped me make the most amazing Winnie the Pooh scene. We had eggs painted as Tigger, Piglet, Winnie and Eeyore, she turned a shoe box on its side and we painted the backdrop, made a little cardboard tree with treehouse like Piglet has and a little pot of honey and all the small details.

Come the day of the competition, we brought it in to school and I was so proud! There were 1st 2nd and 3rd places but only the 1st place winner won a prize of a humungous Cadbury Easter Egg.

Another girl came in crying because she's dropped hers on the way to school and it smashed a bit. It was a turtle, nothing more nothing less. Just an egg painted green with back eyes in a cake box. No background or extras.

Teachers felt sorry for this girl and she won 1st place and I won 2nd! I was so, so upset.
Mum was equally (to me she would never have said it to the teachers) outraged and bought me a massive egg she probably couldn't afford on the way home

My parents were fairly well off. We had a big house, private schooling, tennis coaching, music lessons etc. But they were really really mean with gifts or anything they saw as frivolous.

Like a pp above I was desperate for a radio/tape recorder so I could tape songs from the radio. A few weeks before my mum actually won one in a competition and gave it to me for my birthday. What luck! Though she said I had to share it with my younger sister as she would want one too. Also she didn't get any blank tapes to go with it. I had to buy those out of my pocket money.

We used it a lot to tape songs and make our own "radio programmes ". One day we came home from school and it was gone. My mums sister (a teacher) mentioned that she needed one for school and my mum had given it to her along with MY blank tapes, as I would no longer have a use for them!

That wasn't the only time either. Our stuff was often given away, lent or sold. It was like we were not real people.

As an adult my mum offered to lend my wedding veil to someone else before I'd even used it myself. She was really shocked when I said NO. I had bought it myself BTW.

@Ginsmything

My son was going to a Cubs Halloween party as Darth Maul. I had made a black cape from a charity shop skirt (am rubbish at crafts/sewing) and his dad had painted his face red and black. We had also decorated his turnip lantern to match his face paint. A boy wearing a bought Scream mask and a white sheet won 😡

This reminds me of one year at my daughters school. An art project was done by all kids, my daughter and many others spent ages working on their own project. A friend of my daughters who has 2 parents who work in creative jobs, had her entire project done by her very creative parents. It was clearly amazing and clearly not done by a 7 yr old unless they were a child prodigy. That child won!!!

My dd was being bullied at school. Her form teacher told me, dd hadn’t said a word. I had a chat about it with the form teacher and asked her to keep an eye out. A friend of mine that worked in the school told me that dd was lying and that I shouldn’t believe everything she told me. She hadn’t told me, the teacher had. Friend quietly dropped.

Another friend dropped me from the school run arrangement recently. Said she’d only just had to rearrange that day to help someone out. Funny the kids already knew all about it the day before as they’d told me when I picked them up.

I do have other friends thankfully, who don’t call my children liars and leave me in the lurch.

Not an obvious event as such, but my mother admitted (when pushed) that my slightly older and bullying sister got more attention than me and was pandered to simply because she had a louder voice and got mardy when not getting her own way. This still happens as an adult and it hasn't done her any favours in the personality department as she still throws her weight around and isn't very self aware.

It might have been 'character forming' for me, making me tougher but it has made me resentful - like a festering sore.

@VienneseWhirligig

When I was 7, I was in school and felt unwell whilst doing a maths worksheet. I didn't like maths very much but was genuinely feeling queasy so I told my teacher, who told me I was being dramatic and to just get on with the work or she would move me to the remedial table.

Of course I puked copiously, all over the worksheet, myself, the girl next to me, and the teacher. I ended up being sent to sit under the click by the head mistress's office for "making myself sick to get out of maths". My mother collected me, took me to the doctors and turns out I had tonsillitis. I still am glad I was sick on that cow.

That reminds me of the time I (aged 10) was feeling really ill in class and was eventually sent to the Heads office for them to call my mum.

The Head told my mum they thought that I was crying because I didn't like the boy I was sat next to (he was a nice enough lad) and basically putting it on.

I had glandular fever and didn't go back to school for over a month.

Mine was last year! It still makes me hot & sweaty & outraged when I think about it.

We live in Devon, place of teeny tiny lanes. I am used to this, accustomed to driving through them and also reversing for long distances when you meet other traffic!

I met family at a little beach for the day and then when leaving, had to go uphill up a tiny single track lane. Met a 4x4 who refused to go backwards even though i knew there was a spot. But I couldn't reverse as I had at least 4 cars behind me, none of whom would go back. I sat there with my reversing lights on but nobody would move. Gradually 4x4 had built up a few cars behind them, and I had even more behind me, leaving the beach at the end of the day.

Eventually after 10 mins of hand gestures from me saying I can't go backwards, they finally acquiesce and start to go reverse. We finally make it to the top of the hill and there is chaos, with people piling in from other junctions trying to get down to the beach. Everyone is stopped and staring at me.

The absolute worst thing though - none of the fuckers behind me followed me. So it looked like I just couldn't fucking drive and made this 4x4 reverse uphill with a chain of 5ish cars. I can only assume that when he started going back down to the beach, he then met all the other cars that were stopping me, and I hope he felt like a twat.

I'm still so pissy about the whole thing, as you can tell

In art class at school we made paper mache plates. I spent ages on mine, it was completely smooth and the edges were perfect. Once the class finished we had to write our initials on so we could paint them the following week. Next week when the teacher was handing them out he lifted mine and as it had been wet the first initial had smudged slightly. Another girl with the same second initial said it was hers and jumped up and snatched it, smirking at me as she did. I was left with hers which was lumpy and had raggedy edges, it looked like a three year old had made it. I did argue a bit because her initials were clear on the one I had got but the teacher said well everyone has one now, it doesn't matter.

Later I was praised for my paint work because we had to draw a fish. Everyone else drew an entire fish but I did the pattern of a tropical fish, as though you had zoomed right in. It was the best design but the plate was utter shit. I took it home and my Mum loved the design and hung it up on the kitchen wall but every time I looked at it I just felt so angry that it was this lumpy raggedy shit plate and that cow had stolen my perfect one. Still pisses me off all these years later!

Apologies, my paragraphs all merged into a single epic rant!

Hello

@Quarantino

I feel you *@atlastifoundit*

My dad does similar even now, nothing that really matters but it is a bit annoying when you choose a specific thing!

Frustrating isn't it? My parents were generous with both time and money, but only with what they thought was best for me, rather than my choice. They have both passed away now, but this memory from my childhood still rankles.

I was on a train home from the seaside once with my very young DC. I was just pleased none of them were throwing a tantrum at that point tbh because it had been a long, hot day for us. DD was around 4 at the time but she’d only just turned 4 so she was tiny really. We were having a chat, nothing out of the ordinary as far as I was concerned. A woman adjacent to us just started going off on one at me out of nowhere. She said my DD was very loud and she had a headache and just needed some quiet please. She didn’t stop there either, kept up with the tirade of abuse for a good 5 minutes. A few other passengers stepped in to tell her she was being a twat and if she couldn’t stand the noise of someone talking, she should get off the train but she insisted she had every right to expect peace and quiet on public transport. I didn’t know what to say to her at all because I was honestly just so shocked. All I remember saying was ‘but she’s only talking’ because she was genuinely only talking. The woman kept reiterating how loudly she was talking though and how she just couldn’t cope with it. I’m guessing she was under an awful amount of strain but taking it out on a 4 year old and her Mum was a bit much… I wanted the ground to swallow me up tbh.

I don’t really know what I’d say differently now but do think I’d stand up for myself more. It still annoys me when I think about it now because it was public transport, she hadn’t paid extra for a quiet carriage and my DD was only talking!

I’ve thought of more. My mother always went on about how she wanted a girl after 2 boys. But didn’t want to deal with any girl issues, separate rooms, girls clothes, girls toys, bras, periods. She just wanted me to be a girl with boys clothes/toys and to want to want to be just friends with my brothers, not other girls.

She tried constantly to make me wear my brothers hand me downs but I was tiny (my fault) and wouldn’t buy me enough sanitary towels and was annoyed I even had periods.

I’ve spent a lot of money ensuring that DD has everything for periods and I am super sympathetic about her feelings/pain. I had horrific pain as a teenager and it was just brushed off as an annoyance.

I really used to enjoy writing stories when I was a teen. No idea if I was any good at it but I still enjoyed it.
I remember homework for English I was about 13/14 was to write a story based at sea with various other bits included.
I remember I got really into it and ended up writing about 8 pages. I careful checked all my grammar and punctuation and that I had included everything that had been asked for.
I handed it in and was heartbroken to get it back with a very low mark.
According to the teacher I had waffled on unnecessary and could of made it 2 pages. Basically just putting down everything I had worked hard on and was proud of.
What hurt the most was class mate sitting besides me got high mark (think 99%) and her story wasnt even set at sea.
That still pisses me right off even now. I still dont understand how she can of got a higher mark than me when she didnt do the work properly.

@PizzaPiePizzaPie

I’ve thought of more. My mother always went on about how she wanted a girl after 2 boys. But didn’t want to deal with any girl issues, separate rooms, girls clothes, girls toys, bras, periods. She just wanted me to be a girl with boys clothes/toys and to want to want to be just friends with my brothers, not other girls. She tried constantly to make me wear my brothers hand me downs but I was tiny (my fault) and wouldn’t buy me enough sanitary towels and was annoyed I even had periods.

I’ve spent a lot of money ensuring that DD has everything for periods and I am super sympathetic about her feelings/pain. I had horrific pain as a teenager and it was just brushed off as an annoyance.

Very sad

When I was about 14 I went to the cinema with a group of friends. About a month or so later when we were all together one of them started telling me about the film we'd seen, and I said "I know, you daft thing, I was sitting next to you when we went to see it."

For some reason I've never been able to fathom, they all started going on about how I hadn't been there with them. I was getting more and more frustrated saying "I sat next to you, we shared popcorn, Helen's mum picked us up, Paul spilled his drink all over the floor before the film even started" but they were all adamant I hadn't been there, and that I only knew these details because I'd heard them talking about it!

Bunch of bastards. Still pisses me off nearly 40 years later.

DomingoinLittleOakley

Something similar happened to me. The fair cane to town and I went on a ride with my mum and younger brother, and my brothers restraint was loose so my mum had to hold onto him.
But if I mention it now they both insist I wasn't there... but I was sat on the other side of my mum! I saw it all unfold, right down to the ride getting stopped because of it! But they're adamant I wasn't there and I'm just making it up.

@PollyPepper

I wanted horse riding lessons. So they bought me a piano and paid for piano lessons

🎻 🎻 🎻

I wish these had been the problems I'd had growing up.

This is rude.

It is a horrible thing to have your wishes and preferences totally and constantly ignored as a child. Its not about whether the PP is upset about first world problems; it's not fair to not listen to your children and treat them as if their opinions do not matter because it can have a terrible impact on self-esteem. If they weren't short of money then why the fuck didn't they just give their child what she actually wanted?

@OoglyMoogly

I was in reception class at school. The teacher produced a box of biscuits and offered the box to every child. When it was my turn, I took a biscuit but she continued offering the box. After a little while I took another one, thinking that was what she meant by still offering the box.

She then loudly told the class that “oogly is a greedy girl because she took 2 biscuits” and then she began offering the box round again but when she passed my chair said “none for greedy girls who steal” holding the box way above my head and I remember tears running down my face.

I was 5 years old in my first week at school.

I hated Miss Merrick from then on. 47 years later and I can still hear her saying it.

I'm furious with that teacher, what a cow.

@whojamaflip

Turning 17 and my father had said for years he would get me my first car. Went out for dinner at a very expensive restaurant and was handed a box and told happy birthday. Opened it to find a toy mini car inside so got rather excited that the real thing would be waiting on the drive at home. Only it wasn't..........in his eyes he had fulfilled his promise and bought me a car for my 17th 🙁 still hurts 40 years later.

Your father is a dickhead

When I was in 4th year junior ( 1984) I wrote a really good story about the civil war but my teacher ( Mr English) criticised my use of the phrase 'volley after volley of musket shot rained down on ...). He said it was only used about tennis balls and made me change it. A few years later I read the term 'volley' being used exactly like that in classic literature - prick!

The same teacher was chatting to the bus driver on the way home from swimming. He was leaning against the pole by the entrance to the bus when I put my hand up to tell him I felt sick. He ignored me so I said 'Mr English, I don't feel well', he ignored me again so I stood up and said 'I'm going to be sick'
The bus driver opened the doors, I boiked over Mr English's legs and he fell out the bus - that was still travelling in the slow traffic of the A13.
Mr English broke a limb or two and was away from school for some time. When he returned he called me out in front of the whole class for not saying sorry for the accident. I left school at lunch time and went home to tell my 6'4" 17 year old brother who marched back up the school with me and told Mr English what he thought of him.