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Original poster

How much should he pay towards bills?

29 replies

itsadivision · 03/08/2021 17:25

I have my own house and we've talked about partner moving in (he's currently renting)

Should I just split the utility/food bills, or take mortgage into account, or have him pay what I would charge a lodger (to include bills)

OP posts:
Mum45678 · 03/08/2021 17:34

My partner currently pays around a third of the mortgage for rent + bills (I own the house and live with my two children) and he puts in about 1/3 for food and also buys top up shops during the week if I need things. Not sure if that is under or over charging to be honest.

TooWicked · 03/08/2021 17:39

I think he should pay half of all bills, plus some money towards use of and wear and tear on the property, whether you want to call that “rent” or a “lodger charge” or whatever.

Wjevtvha · 03/08/2021 17:42

I would have him pay half the bills and half the mortgage unless your home is a massive place that he’d never have lived in but if it’s the same size as what you’d rent together then he’s still likely to be getting a better deal than he’d get if you were renting

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/08/2021 17:59

Enough so that you both benefit roughly equal amounts.

So if your mortgage bus about the same as his current rent he should pay 50% as his rent.

And then work out what you think is a fair split on food and bills. You'll know how much they increase, again make sure you both benefit by a similar amount.

Equal profits rather than equal shares.

Anything else is just hand wringing martyrdom.

Original poster
itsadivision · 03/08/2021 18:34

If he's paying towards the mortgage though can that give him any claim on the house? Or is that only if his name went on the mortgage? Even if he paid half the bills and mortgage he would definitely be much better off than renting as he pays a fortune.

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 03/08/2021 19:30

If just the two of you and the house in one name, I’d say 50/50 on food and utilities. The mortgage paid y the homeowner and the other putting the same amount into a savings account to ensure they have a safety et if it doesn’t work out as they will have no rights. Cars/phones etc paid for individually.

LimeRedBanana · 03/08/2021 19:33

Sorry, I don’t understand.

Why wouldn’t he pay towards the mortgage?

He certainly pays towards his current landlord’s mortgage.

Is there some different, unspoken rule if you’re having sex with the landlord?

Palavah · 03/08/2021 19:36

Get him to pay it to you like rent/lodger fee and you pay the mortgage.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 03/08/2021 19:36

Very different paying rent to a LL, there would be a contract and legal rights so someone couldn’t be evicted overnight.
If not on the mortgage id either not move in with someone or agree to save the same amount as a backup so I had a safety net. If it went well then there would be a bigger deposit for a joint house.

Original poster
itsadivision · 03/08/2021 19:37

I honestly have no idea, I've never owned a house before or cohabited before, and I'm sure I've read threads on here that suggest if someone pays towards the mortgage they have a claim on the house (or is that just if people are married and one person isn't on the mortgage?)

OP posts:
Elouera · 03/08/2021 19:39

Assuming you live there alone, don't forget that council tax will be more with 2 living together, so take that into consideration too.

SteakChips · 03/08/2021 19:41

When my now husband moved into my flat we split the bills 50/50, before that he gave me some towards water etc.

LimeRedBanana · 03/08/2021 19:42

Well, if you expect to house him rent-free, while you pay the entire mortgage yourself - and he’s actually happy with that level of free-loading - I see a load of resentment in your future.

What kind of life partner is happy to let someone they love shoulder that sort of financial burden?

This has cock-lodger red flags all over it, for me.

He would have a load of disposable income that the OP doesn’t have, while the OP does have a monthly financial commitment to pay the mortgage and put a roof over both their heads.

And how is him putting money into his own savings supposed to help? Things could equally end, and then not only has he paid no mortgage, but he has a tidy little sum of savings to walk off with, enabled by the OP.

Of course he should be contributing to his own rental costs - whether that’s in the home of his partner, or a landlord.

safariboot · 03/08/2021 19:45

All bills except the mortgage split roughly in proportion to income.

The mortgage is more complicated. Without anything in writing to the contrary, he could easily try and claim his payments were him buying a share in the property. Even if he tries and fails, that's still a load of court hassle. So you may prefer, if you are able, to pay the mortgage entirely yourself.

Original poster
itsadivision · 03/08/2021 19:46

I'm not expecting to house him rent free, and he isn't expecting that either. I just want to make sure I don't risk him coming after a pay out if we were to split up a few years down the line because he paid half the mortgage for X number of years.

I'm looking at it from his POV as well - he would be paying half the mortgage on a house that's not his (but I guess he's doing that by renting!)

OP posts:
LimeRedBanana · 03/08/2021 19:48

he would be paying half the mortgage on a house that's not his (but I guess he's doing that by renting!)

Yes, he is doing that by renting - no getting around that fact.

NecklessMumster · 03/08/2021 19:49

I pay bills with my DP on a percentage of our incomes. At the moment he earns more than me, about 60/40 split so that's how we pay proportions of bills also. Re mortgage - you are going to have to decide if you want him to be on your mortgage or not and check legal situation accordingly.

Original poster
itsadivision · 03/08/2021 19:50

The mortgage is more complicated. Without anything in writing to the contrary, he could easily try and claim his payments were him buying a share in the property. Even if he tries and fails, that's still a load of court hassle. So you may prefer, if you are able, to pay the mortgage entirely yourself.

That's exactly what I was worried about. I think the safest option is to look at what he pays out now, and add up all my bills (including mortgage) and try and strike some middle ground where he benefits from it being cheaper than his rental, and I benefit from having a lodger!

OP posts:
Lostmyway86 · 03/08/2021 19:54

I was in this situation with an ex partner and I was advised to get a cohabitation agreement written up by solicitor. It's about £500 but it's worth it. States that you own the property and he is paying rent and a tenant and what would happen if you were to split. Not very romantic, but I think it's worth doing. If you don't, he could take you to court and claim he was paying towards your mortgage, unlikely he'd win but its possible especially if children involved. Apart from that he just pays you rent payments monthly. I would expect around half. Keep all bills in your name.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/08/2021 19:57

You need to have a proper tenancy agreement drawn up and then you won't have to worry about him making a claim on your house. He should be paying half the mortgage for rent and half of everything else.

Lostmyway86 · 03/08/2021 19:58

In addition to my previous message, if he ever was to come on the mortgage get a tenancy in common rather than a joint mortgage.

Original poster
itsadivision · 03/08/2021 20:12

Thanks, that's been helpful 😊

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 03/08/2021 20:18

Mumsnet is so funny. I've seen posts in the past with the opposite situation where the woman is moving in to her partners house and thd majority have agreed that she shouldn't pay towards the mortgage. The rationale being that he could kick her out at a moments notice and that she needs to protect herself by building a nest egg.

Dacquoise · 03/08/2021 21:16

He should definitely be contributing some form of rent as accommodation isn't free, shouldn't be provided for a partner by you and there is ongoing maintenance on a property that needs to be financed. I believe you can have an agreement drawn up by a solicitor about not gaining any beneficial interest in your property should you split. Money well spent until you either decide to buy together or marry. All other bills split 50/50.

Dacquoise · 03/08/2021 21:19

@Crinkle77, the ones I have seen usually involve women who are not married, looking after the children of the relationship and having no safety net if they split. The number of women who end up in this situation is mind boggling.

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