Is it rude, or is it me ?

[DinosaurDiana]

DH comes down late morning (retired so doesn’t get out of bed until 10.30) and announces that he’s going out for the afternoon. We don’t have any plans, but isn’t it rude and thoughtless to give one hours notice that he’s going out ? Or am I expecting too much ?

You have No plans and his Retired

Why rude?

Do you have to run your plans past him? This would be very suffocating for me personally.

Do you have enough going on in your own life or are you waiting around for him? Maybe hobbies/work/friends?

Because we might have done something as it’s my day off.
I always let him know if I’m doing something.

Why does he have to give you notice? You’re not his employer. If you wished to do something them you should have said.

What would you do if you had more notice?

As it’s your day off, so you might have done something together, yes I think it’s certainly thoughtless

In the absence of plans, he’s made a plan. I don’t see the issue

Alright, perhaps ‘notice’ is the wrong word.
But he had obviously planned to go out so why couldn’t he have let me know sooner ? I would have.

I don’t see the issue unless childcare issues or your bday

If you had nothing planned then it’s a non issue. I thought you were going to say something like you had a baby and a toddler you were expecting help with and he’s buggered off with no warning

Unless you had plans or normally do something on your day off then I don’t see how it’s rude

But why should he have told you sooner? Would it have affected your plans for the day if you’d know at 8am?

I don’t think this is rude

He can do as he chooses. You are not his keeper.

How is it rude?
If you wanted to do something together you had ample time to mention it and arrange something together. He doesn't want to sit around the house all day and has made plans.

You would hate living with me. I would often walk out of the door and say see you later.

I see what you mean but if I had wanted us to do something we would probably have chatted about it a day or 2 before not midday on the day.....

Whats rude? You’re more pissed off than him rude.

If it isn’t your usual way of doing things, I can imagine it seems a bit off.

Is it that he’s oblivious to your hope to spend your day off with him?

We don't often plan stuff, just suddenly decide to go out for a coffee or shopping.
Well, I'm obviously wrong and give people far more consideration than I can expect myself !

Has he actually planned days in advance to go out? In absence of other arrangements, I might text a friend and announce my departure in the space of hour. I wouldn't have had those plans before the hour.

Could have quite easily decided to book a last minute round of golf, or get the bike out, fish gear or whatever anonymous, 'outing' hobby he does.

Unless you'd planned something or explicitly asked him to plan something for you both, then its a shame he's left you home, but not exactly rude.

He knew he was going yesterday. I would have told him my plans, obviously just can’t expect it of others.

I'd love the time on my own.

I'm with you, OP, it's rude if your default is to spend time with each other when you are both off. It costs nothing to have a little consideration for your partner and let them know your plans so they can make their own plans.

@chesirecat99

I'm with you, OP, it's rude if your default is to spend time with each other when you are both off. It costs nothing to have a little consideration for your partner and let them know your plans so they can make their own plans.

Thank you 💐

Not rude at all However it's always best to have a conversation about your thoughts on this kinda stuff!