Weird people you meet on holiday.

[Diddumz]

1988 - went to Majorca with my family. There was a woman who kept pretending she was drowning in the pool.

Have you met any oddballs on holiday?

Mum had a timeshare in a 5* resort in Benalmadena so that’s pretty much the only place we ever went (luckily went to various other places with my Dad!). My mum never wanted to leave said resort so we’d usually spend 2 weeks either at kids clubs or in the swimming pool.

Met various people over the years including a fat Danish boy called Jasper who seemed to be fond of me. He would stand shouting my name from his balcony when we were sat eating in the evening. Of course my Mum mercilessly mocked me about it for ages. He reminded me of Augustus Gloop.

The kids groups always thought I was called Helen and I was never brave enough to correct them so I just accepted my new name.

More of a weird night than weird people, in Cairo in 1983 when I was in my early 20s and travelling round Israel & Egypt with a friend.

We had got friendly with a Canadian called Jim in our backpackers hostel who I still remember really clearly as he was lovely, easy-going and something of an Adonis. Out for a drink one evening, Jim's good looks attracted the attention of an Egyptian man who then insisted on taking the 3 of us round the bars & restaurants of Cairo, complete with belly-dancing, etc in every one of which he would order pigeon & chips(?) My friend & I felt safe as it was clear the Egyptian's interest was very much in Jim, not us, and when we left at about 3am Jim said he would stay on, so we waved him goodbye and as we were leaving early the next morning we never saw him again. My friend & I were very hung-over the next day and the whole evening felt unreal and we speculated about what might have happened after we left.

About 6 months later a parcel arrived by post, sent by Jim from Canada. It contained a book about a writer I was studying at the time whom he & I had discussed at length and photos of our evening in the bars of Cairo with our Egyptian host, his pigeon & chips and belly-dancers galore, which I still have, tucked inside the book.

@FluffyPersian

Yes and they're now our pen friends and we visit them once a year and write letters to them!

We got married in Fountains Abbey in North Yorkshire and honeymooned in the local area, doing all kinds of crazy things. One of the crazy things was visit a museum (I won't say which one) which was run by the Husband and half way through his wife made us tea and home made delicious cake and we chatted - We found out that despite being 85 and us in our late 30's, they have very similar likes / dislikes - love gothic architecture, his wife loves gardening as do I - we both have a love of antiques, mu husband is very much into engineering as is the Husband..... it was amazing!

After we got back from honeymoon, I wrote a very positive review on tripadvisor and got a phone call from the Husband saying thank you - and then we sent the wife a Birthday card as it was her Birthday the week after we got back, so they sent a letter, so we sent a letter.....

.... 3 years later, we write letters to each other every 4-6 weeks! He writes the most beautiful letters in copperplate handwriting and I write letters on MS word and print them out and send them through the post .

The last letter they sent had a picture of him, wearing a WW2 German hat and a monocle, having taken a 'selfie'

I know we're pretty weird... so they're also weird, but in a nice way, and it's a lovely friendship - already looking forward to seeing them next year!

That's beautiful FluffyPersian!

Russian couple in Egypt. They ended up on all the trips we booked. He said he was used to haggling but always was the target of the stall holders. Before we got to the pyramids he was draped in all the tourist tat. He and his wife were always late, we laugh about it now but it got pretty tedious. She brought a full size case for two nights away, but wore the same dress the whole time. She had the biggest camera I’d ever seen, but took no pictures of the pyramids, Luxor or valley of the kings. We were outside yet another perfume shop and she started photographing these wizened up cactus in pots, proper lying down on the pavement, changing lenses, full on David Bailey.We were on the minibus trying not to laugh. There were two older men sat outside watching her like 🤨. They looked at her, they looked at us, they rolled their eyes. We had to hide behind the seats as we cracked up. Oh yes and her husband was late out of that place too. We almost missed our plane back to the resort.

Not that odd, tbf, we did a road trip on US, stayed in a B&B In the middle of nowhere.
Got talking to a couple at breakfast who were huge British TV fans and were quizzing me on what happens in Eastenders and Corrie. They were about 5 years behind and the network would just miss out months of episodes so they never understood what was going on. It was 20 odd years ago when it wasn’t so available online.
Went our for the day, came back and Had dinner with them and we were still talking about plots! ExH, not a soap fan, kept trying to change the subject but we’d be back to Albert square and Corrie somehow.

I was like the oracle of soaps!

When my DH and I went to Turkey (many years ago) we met a couple and the wife kept doing very loud Telly Tubby impressions- everywhere we went, no alcohol needed either. I remember on a tour one day, hearing her on the ferry saying 'Uh-oh!' In a Tele Tubby voice and doing Tinky Winky impressions.

Another year when we went to Spain, we met a lady that claimed she was psychic and kept telling me something awful was going to happen to me. I can still see her stuffing her face with paella at our table in the restaurant, her hand dramatically waving her fork in the air. She was talking with a gob full of prawns and bits of rice falling out of her mouth, while describing whatever awful thing was going to happen to me. My DH was trying not to laugh while the pair of us got quietly pissed on Sangria.

That incident was marginally humoured on the same holiday by a hilarious Scottish lady walking around the pool and restaurant area, wearing a bikini with some mistletoe pinned to her bikini bottoms. She kept telling the waiter to kiss her under the mistletoe 🤣

What a great thread, I am place marking this for later.

So HidieousKinky did Jim get off with the Egyptian guy?

@PainterInPeril

Well, I was in my teens was on holiday with my family.

We spent most mornings at the pool.

There was a lady who kept going into the pool and sinking. She would then rise to the surface and start gasping and shouting for help. A MAN or, better still, MEN would jump in and "save" her.

She did this once or twice a day, until everyone got wise to her little performance.

I did think about telling her the story who cried wolf but, by this point, I hoped she would bloody drown. She was such a nuisance.

One day, she showed up with a massive inflatable crocodile 🐊 and that seemed to keep her occupied!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow I wish I knew!

His letter which accompanied the book frustratingly made no mention of it....

This thread is excellent!

Lilly it's also a bit weird to come on a thread and take the time to reply that you think the OPs weird

I actually went on holiday with oddballs.

I had a boyfriend who invited me on holiday with his parents. They had booked a villa in Tuscany.

I hadn't met the parents before.

Alarm bells rang when they told me they had packed a large joint of beef as they didn't want to eat "foreign muck".

Well, the parents never stepped out of the villa. Ever. Not even to go for a walk or go to the pool.

One day, boyfriend and I escaped and went on a day trip to Florence.

When we returned, the parents were LIVID! How dare we leave the claustrophobic villa!

Also, every time bf put his arm around me or hugged me, his mum would stare and say "He never does that with me!".

We split when we got home. The beef went rancid and had to be binned.

On holiday in Turkey and a man in our hotel told us he brought a suitcase of bacon over to sell to the local English bars, reckoned it paid for his holiday. Didn’t eat any bacon anywhere just in case it was suitcase bacon 🤢

I went to Crete a few years ago (pre children)
And there was some woman with the biggest boobs I've ever seen in my life and she instead on going topless... I mean fair play! But she was about 70
But every single time I got in the pool she would float really REALLY close to me and her boobs would be flapping about in my face!
It was grim to say the least!

These stories are exactly why I’m a miserable bastard who desperately tries to avoid other people on holiday 🤣🤣

I do remember being in the Maldives, which in case you didn’t know is a Muslim country and they don’t tend to like nudity on the beaches. We were on an island that was generally very quiet and family friendly until two Russian couples arrived. The guys were huge body builders, compete with steroid spotty backs and loved wearing tiny speedos while grunting loudly while doing workouts on the sand and dry humping their girlfriends on their sunloungers. Their girlfriends had huge breast implants and no matter how much the staff begged and implored them, insisted on going topless most of the time. I felt so sorry for the staff also having to deal with all the complaints from the other families. The 4 of them were utterly resistant and unfazed and did not alter their behaviour one jot.

I also want more about the woman pretending to drown, especially as this is how I look when swimming

These are great
Not me but my friend. He and her DH met a couple on holiday and chatted now and again. A few months later there's a knock at her door and it's the couple. She was baffled because they hadn't swapped addresses, but she thinks her DH did, though he denied it.
They said they had come to visit but not to worry they had their caravan and would stay in that.
They were only there a day and a night then went off again.
The next week they were on Crimewatch, they had stolen a large amount of money from a business partner and were on the run.

My friend and I flew from Dublin to gran canaria about 15 years ago. On the flight there was a couple and we both recognised the man but couldn't figure out where from. We thought we knew him from TV ie sports or a soap etc.

They ended up staying at the same hotel as us so we got chatting to his wife when checking in. My friend pipes up - your dh looks really familiar. Where do we know him from. She just said that he has one of those faces and left it there.

We got to our room and my friend just realised who he was and that whilst he may not be famous, he was definitely infamous. He was one of the biggest drug dealers in dublin.

First lunch time on a transatlantic cruise we sat at a table with a strange couple. Older techie women, worked for Microsoft at a high-level. Didn't say much. Toy boy was from Texas and didn't we know it!! I usually boast about being from God's own county, but he was at a different level all together.
He even had a picture of a waffle shaped like Texas on his phone. Spent the next few days popping into various bars to avoid him! Love cruises, you can amuse yourself for hours telling tall tails.

@OhGiveUp 🤣🤣 Ukrainian Mr Bean! Love it !

@MazDazzle

On honeymoon an American couple approached us. They were LOUD, brash and in your face. Think Wolf of Wall Street. He actually said:

‘My school was awesome. You’d love it. No Jews or blacks AT ALL!’

WTF?

Open door policy on arseholes though. (Possibly my favourite Keanu Reeves quote.)

Getting on the transfer bus at the Airport in Greece,lady with a noisy toddler was struggling with what seemed a lot of luggage,my other half hops off the bus and helps her,she was staying in the same Apartments as us,so other half helps her again when we arrive at accommodation.A man got off the bus on his own,he was her husband!
We became friends with them and he did absolutely nothing the entire holiday,his wife did everything! He had a redeeming feature though,he was hysterically funny.

We kept in touch with them for several years after,they were still together,but had no more children.I didn’t realise that women these days stayed with men like that.

Another cruise, 2 lovely older men who had loads of matching little girl outfits. Think of pantomime dames. They were really good to talk to if you could get past huge amounts of make up and towering wigs!

Great thread

I love this thread. I've never been abroad and not had a holiday since I was 5 so I've no tales to tell

This is brilliant