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Original poster

Just stopped ds camping out all night

95 replies

ZenNudist · 01/08/2021 01:06

Not AIBU because I feel justified but guilty. Also not really looking to get slagged off.

Ds (nearly 11 going into year 6) begged at 8.30 to sleep in neighbours garden in a tent. Ndn dc are years 8 and 9 nearly, so preteen and young teen. They are little. Ds is as big/ bigger despite being 10.

It was last minute. I was on the phone and said ask your dad. Dh agreed it with NDN who is currently sitting up in their shed waiting for them to go to sleep. I was going to bed after midnight could hear them still up talking and made the mistake of googling camping abduction stories. There's one really awful case which was enough to freak me out.

We are in a city and there have been thefts from gardens. So it's not that safe. Still, it seems unlikely that someone looking to break in or rob a bike from a shed would turn their hand to kidnap.

I was freaked out by what if. I would never go to bed without locking my door so it didn't make sense to leave my child out there unsecured!

So I demanded he come back in and put him to bed behind lock doors! I feel a bit guilty because he was disappointed and missing out.

I think the older boys will be perfectly safe and they're not mine.

Told ds he could go out again first thing and do camping breakfast but he might oversleep as he's been up late.

I feel bad! But he's in bed asleep already so feel like it's a justified action. He's safe.

Wondering if this is OTT. It's done now.

OP posts:
Anon778833 · 02/08/2021 09:04

[quote lavenderandwisteria]@GhostCurry I know you mean well but you know for a lot of people that’s going to make them so curious they simply have to Sad[/quote]
Look, people are grown adults who live in the real world. They don't need policing about what they choose to read about.

davidsong · 04/08/2021 07:43

@ZeusandClio yes, I do think that straight male paedophiles molest girls, and gay ones molest boys.

How on earth is "there's far fewer gay paedophiles than straight ones" homophobic? Taking it that way is just being mean and mud slinging, don't be so nasty.

Iggly · 04/08/2021 07:46

OP, will you be googling all the possible bad things that could happen to your child and then stopping him doing them?

DufferMum · 04/08/2021 07:52

[quote davidsong]@ZeusandClio yes, I do think that straight male paedophiles molest girls, and gay ones molest boys.

How on earth is "there's far fewer gay paedophiles than straight ones" homophobic? Taking it that way is just being mean and mud slinging, don't be so nasty.[/quote]
THIS IS NOT TRUE!

Most paedophiles who target boys present as straight men.

However they are highly unlikely to be haunting OP’s garden on any random night.

Divebar2021 · 04/08/2021 09:21

How old were the NDN’s - 13 and 14?

ZeusandClio · 04/08/2021 09:57

[quote davidsong]@ZeusandClio yes, I do think that straight male paedophiles molest girls, and gay ones molest boys.

How on earth is "there's far fewer gay paedophiles than straight ones" homophobic? Taking it that way is just being mean and mud slinging, don't be so nasty.[/quote]
There aren't "straight" or "gay" paedophiles, there are just paedophiles. You conflated being gay with being a paedophile. Homophobic and ignorant, which is genuinely nasty.

davidsong · 05/08/2021 00:33

@ZeusandClio

I was on 4chan in the early 2000s before cartoon child porn was banned globally. Lolicon threads were far more more prevalent than shotacon ones, and there were even homophobic paedophiles claiming that they were "better" than homosexual ones.

@DufferMum

How many girls did Michael Jackson abuse? He presented as straight and even had a sham marriage but everyone knew he wasn't. And how many boys did Jimmy Savile abuse? None, just little girls.

If a paedo has a preference of either "girls", "boys" or "girls and boys" then surely they're straight, gay or bisexual right? Blinkering yourself due to homophobiaphobia isn't a good thing.

The whole context here was risk assessment. Censoring politically inconvenient truths and shouting people down like that directly caused the abuses in Rotherham. Think of the harm you might cause in your misplaced, ignorant, nasty crusades against obvious truths.

DeleteSystem32 · 05/08/2021 13:03

[quote davidsong]@ZeusandClio

I was on 4chan in the early 2000s before cartoon child porn was banned globally. Lolicon threads were far more more prevalent than shotacon ones, and there were even homophobic paedophiles claiming that they were "better" than homosexual ones.

@DufferMum

How many girls did Michael Jackson abuse? He presented as straight and even had a sham marriage but everyone knew he wasn't. And how many boys did Jimmy Savile abuse? None, just little girls.

If a paedo has a preference of either "girls", "boys" or "girls and boys" then surely they're straight, gay or bisexual right? Blinkering yourself due to homophobiaphobia isn't a good thing.

The whole context here was risk assessment. Censoring politically inconvenient truths and shouting people down like that directly caused the abuses in Rotherham. Think of the harm you might cause in your misplaced, ignorant, nasty crusades against obvious truths.[/quote]
Comparing gay people to paedophiles is not a politically inconvenient or obvious truth.

SprayedWithDettol · 05/08/2021 13:09

I’ve read some batshit nonsense on here over the years, but this takes the biscuit. The gay slurs however are hateful.

Neverrains · 05/08/2021 13:17

I know your post is meant well, but please do NOT do this. A quick Google will show that this is actually very bad for you, and for your children

Err… I’m pretty sure that poster was joking and not actually advocating sitting still in a chair for all eternity.

ExpressDelivery · 05/08/2021 13:21

I think that's really off, especially after you'd agreed to it.

CaitlyntheCactus · 05/08/2021 13:34

davidsong

Pedophiles are attracted to age ranges of children and not specific sexes of children. So most pedophiles will have desires for say children age 5-7, regardless of whether the child is male or female. This is well documented in research. It does change slightly as children reach puberty. So the pedophiles sexual orientation is irrelevant.

MsSquiz · 05/08/2021 13:36

I think you were OTT, because you didn't say no once your DH had said yes. You didn't even say it after an hour or so.
You let him "start" camping, and stay there until after midnight when you decided to google campsite abductions - nothing to do with local or recent crime, or even local or recent camping gone wrong tales!

We always used to camp at my friends house, in her back garden and her poor dad would sleep in their conservatory in case anything happened!

tiredanddangerous · 05/08/2021 13:53

I think you were really unreasonable. What reason did you give your ds for making him come back inside?

AntiSocialDistancer · 05/08/2021 14:20

There is literally absolutely no chance that my younger than teen children would camp outside without an adult. Nil.

Yanbu.

gnushoes · 05/08/2021 15:09

To the posters who say go with your gut - my mother was extremely phobic, with OCD as well. She never failed to go with her gut which was fucking insane basically. My childhood was totally mad, wrapped in shame and secrecy, and it left its mark in my sibling and I. If you're going to go with your gut, at least sense check it first.

davidsong · 08/08/2021 04:27

@CaitlyntheCactus

davidsong

Pedophiles are attracted to age ranges of children and not specific sexes of children. So most pedophiles will have desires for say children age 5-7, regardless of whether the child is male or female. This is well documented in research. It does change slightly as children reach puberty. So the pedophiles sexual orientation is irrelevant.

  1. Either you're wrong or the abuse stats are (75% girls). anyway.
  2. We're talking about 11 year olds, not 5-7 year olds.
Redrosesandsunsets · 08/08/2021 04:47

He’s asleep already. He’s fine. You did the right thing.

davidsong · 08/08/2021 04:55

@SprayedWithDettol

I’ve read some batshit nonsense on here over the years, but this takes the biscuit. The gay slurs however are hateful.
How is it a slur to say that a minority of paedophiles are homosexual? How is it hateful? Is it hetrophobic and hateful to say that the majority of paedophiles are straight? Is it misogyny and hateful to say that the minority of paedophiles are women?

The pearl clutching is totally uncalled-for and illogical. The fact that some paedophiles are gay says nothing about gay people in general. Plus you can clearly see that I was making a statement about risk, not a moral judgement, so calling it hateful is our of order.

What is hateful is taking offence where none at all is intended, it's crybullying.

Neverrains · 08/08/2021 08:03

@Redrosesandsunsets

He’s asleep already. He’s fine. You did the right thing.
He’s been asleep approx 7 times since this post was written a week ago.
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