It was trauma in my case; I went through some horrendous horrible things as a child, and then in my twenties went through medical trauma and sexual assault . I was given codeine from a GP for period pain and it reminded me of a lovely warm cuddle, I could sleep and I was fuzzy and the trauma was gone . I never went over the prescribed amount but I could not stop taking it .
My GP in centre of Glasgow gave me Buspirone, cyclizine, gabapentin, Valium, dihydrocodeine, ibuprofen, and sertraline and told me to take them all daily . I was quite happy with that for a while, I wasn’t really aware of what I was doing until I had a nervous breakdown .
Took me a year to get off them with a GP helping .
I had and have CPTSD . But I was 29 years old when that was diagnosed, the events largely causing it happened 24 years ago when I was a toddler.
As a child my experiences meant I was in foster care at times, hundreds of childminders, social workers, support workers, volunteers, young carers, a specialist nursery for children of deprived homes, I was given learning support, I was bullied so severely I had to hide behind walls at lunch . We got clothes from second hand black bags, Christmas presents from social work, and food from the church .
We had ambulances round weekly at one point, police regularly . My mum has been involved with social for thirty years + . I’ve seen a GP four weekly since I was 16, I’m now 30 .
My parents both came from background of trauma and abuse and addiction themselves .
So why then did it take so bloody long to get a diagnosis and somewhat effective support - I had to get to crisis point first, and was effectively medicating myself?
I’m exceptionally lucky as a very strong friend took me under her wing at age 18 and nurtured, guided me and provided me with a reassuring sense of stability and control that I’d never had before . With her help I’ve been able to break the cycle somewhat and I only take codeine in controlled amounts for menstrual pain (though even that’s difficult) .
But I don’t think many people can access that, when I was
at school only 50 of us made it to sixth year, I was one of only three from a single parent home . There were 375 in first year, by far the majority left at 15-16 to do low paid manual work .
There is almost a blind acceptance that this is what Scotland is, it was joked about at school that we were all violent druggies !!