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Original poster

Honeymoon when you have young children

57 replies

Yamaya · 29/07/2021 08:24

What did you do? Just not have one or take them with you? It's not much of a honeymoon then is it!

We have one parent between us but he is in his 70s and hasn't offered to watch the children for us. I have a brother and sister in law but they aren't very interested and certainly wouldn't offer.

OP posts:
Vanilla1Cookies · 29/07/2021 08:25

Take them with you.

It was you choice to have kids before you got married so they come.

Specially as you have no one else to have them.

AnotherEmma · 29/07/2021 08:27

This is one reason why people get married before they have kids.

Take them with you.

How old are they? Old enough for you to use kids club and babysitting?

userchange902 · 29/07/2021 08:29

If you can't leave them you go on holiday but call it a holiday, not a honeymoon! It is NOT a honeymoon with kids! But a family holiday is perfectly nice way to celebrate a new marriage too!

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Families
Original poster
Yamaya · 29/07/2021 08:29

2 and 5. The 5 year old is fine, the 2 year old is a pain in the arse to take out.

OP posts:
MakeCrisps · 29/07/2021 08:30

What is a honeymoon when you already have kids anyway? It's just a holiday.

A honeymoon was once a period of getting to know someone intimately, but that's been and gone for you.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/07/2021 08:31

If no one can have them you’ll have to take them with you. A honeymoon is the holiday you have after you get married, so it’s what you make of it.

MargotHeggerty · 29/07/2021 08:31

They go with you....

We didnt have a honeymoon...because we choose to get married abroad then spent the rest of our holiday partying with friends and family we didnt want to miss out on the fun!! So we have sceduled a "honeymoon" to coincidence with our 10 year anniversary next year without dc

But as you say you have noone to watch the kids there isnt really any option but take them if you go away

Vanilla1Cookies · 29/07/2021 08:32

@Yamaya

2 and 5. The 5 year old is fine, the 2 year old is a pain in the arse to take out.
Wait a couple of years and have a ‘honeymoon’ then.

It’s just a holiday when you have kids anyway.

wetfloor · 29/07/2021 08:32

Take them with you. We took ours with us. Was just a normal holiday in the end. But we booked a place with a hot tub and once the kids were in bed we made the most of alone time.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 29/07/2021 08:34

It’s up to you - but I don’t think it’s as common as people think for others to offer to have your children when you go. Especially not in your case; when it’d either be a sibling or a 70 year old…

Most of my friends had children young. The ones who are married were sure their parents, generally in their 60s, would look after the kids for the honeymoon… it was rarely offered. And it’s a massive ask of friends, really; even if you’re really close.

I think it’s a bit of a dream in most cases.

You can postpone until they’ll be old enough to leave behind, or go on a family friendly one, plenty of people do. There’s not really a third option.

Try not to be resentful of people who haven’t offered. It’s a really big thing to ask; however much you wish they would.

Notonthestairs · 29/07/2021 08:34

Take them with you. It won't be the traditional honeymoon in the sense of candlelit dinners but I'm sure you can still have a lovely time.

Original poster
Yamaya · 29/07/2021 08:37

Yeah, I know what the options are realistically. I think I am just surrounded with people who still have their mums or their partners mums who are all too willing to take the children for a couple of nights. But that's not our reality.

OP posts:
JulesCobb · 29/07/2021 08:37

You don't have an option. You've nobody to have them.

I dont see how postponing will help either, as if you've nobody to have them now how will you suddenly someone to have then in a few years?

JulesCobb · 29/07/2021 08:39

@Yamaya

Yeah, I know what the options are realistically. I think I am just surrounded with people who still have their mums or their partners mums who are all too willing to take the children for a couple of nights. But that's not our reality.
Why can only mums help? Hmm
bloodywhitecat · 29/07/2021 08:39

We are taking a couple of days away without our foster babies (two months and fifteen months) for our honeymoon. My daughter is looking after the oldest for us and the littlest one will go to another foster carer.

ExplodingCarrots · 29/07/2021 08:43

My Parents had our daughter for a week so we could have a honeymoon. They couldn't afford to contribute to the wedding (we didn't want them to) so as a gift they took DD. I realise that was really lucky. A few friends have taken their DC on 'honeymoon' but it was more like a family holiday.

MakeCrisps · 29/07/2021 08:43

Once you've got children why would you want to go away for more than a day or two without them? Annual leave is precious (assuming you get the usual 4-5 weeks), I couldn't imagine using half of that for something without DC.

Original poster
Yamaya · 29/07/2021 08:45

Because that's who always looks after the grandkids in my experience. It's the grandma. My dad didn't ever do much around the house as now is a bit clueless. If my mum was still around she would be on it.

I am posting to see what other people did, was it that bad, was it good etc. If all you can contribute is judgement why post?

OP posts:
MakeCrisps · 29/07/2021 08:47

FWIW my dad was my childminder (2 days pw) when DC were small and me and DSis stayed a week with Grandad in school holidays as children.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 29/07/2021 08:49

I think if you choose to get married after children then the reality is either a family holiday or just don’t go. Children are the responsibility of the parents and to expect others to provide free childcare for x days and nights is wrong imo.

merrymouse · 29/07/2021 08:50

Night in a posh hotel if you can find babysitter, then holiday with children.

It’s not as though a honeymoon is part of the marriage service, it’s just a nice excuse to go on holiday.

Holidays with 2 and 5 year olds aren’t really ‘holidays’ but that doesn’t mean you will never have a relaxed holiday ever again.

Nobloat21 · 29/07/2021 08:51

We binned ours off. No point taking them.

moomin11 · 29/07/2021 08:52

We took our almost 3yr old with us but without the expectation it would be like a honeymoon. We went on a cruise as they had a crèche on board and a babysitting service but it didn't really work out how we had hoped! It was a lovely family holiday but exhausting.

Sunshinedaisymeadowsxx · 29/07/2021 08:53

Are you looking abroad or in the U.K.? Abroad go for a resort that is kid focused but has adult only areas too. A lot of the holiday villages have amazing kids clubs, crèches and the option for a baby sitter as well.

During the holiday book the kids in here and there , afternoons here - so you can enjoy cocktails in the adult only area lounge…. Evenings here and there so you can enjoy a nice meal together.

It works

merrymouse · 29/07/2021 08:58

To be clear night in posh hotel followed by ‘holiday’ with 2 year old was what we actually did.

We weren’t in the Maldives having special couples massages or whatever people do, but I don’t look back with regret. That wasn’t where we were in life.

That period where you can’t sit down for two minutes without negotiation does pass, and when you look back at the pictures you remember the good bits.

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