Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

My worst nightmare nearly happened this morning 😞

460 replies

purrswhileheeats · 27/07/2021 17:51

I was reversing out of my driveway and almost ran over my neighbour's child, he was directly behind my car. He's no more than three years old and the only reason I saw him was he was waving his arms in the air and I saw them in my rear view mirror. He's so tiny I wouldn't have seen him otherwise as he was below the level of the back window IFYSWIM. My neighbour was loading stuff into his boot so I beeped the horn and shouted to him, he ran over, grabbed the boy and took him inside.

I was shaking and crying (sorry, that's so MN) when I got to work. They're a new family on the estate, only moved in a few months ago. The dad must've known the boy was playing outside while he was loading the car but didn't bother to check where he was.

I'm waiting for them to come home so I can go and speak to them. It's so horrible, I feel sick thinking about what could have happened.

OP posts:
LublinToDublin · 27/07/2021 21:12

You'd be the same distance from the leading part of the car reversing in as you would reversing out no?

As I added to my post to further clarify DemBones you are further from the point of danger I.e. the point where you can't see who is on the pavement near the drive.

Reversing out, you are further from that point and have much less sight of the road than if you are driving forwards.

The same dangers don't apply reversing into the drive because you already have clear view of the area

EarringsandLipstick · 27/07/2021 21:21

that there is absolutely no excuse for you hitting someone with your car when they are on a pavement. That's exclusively on you

That's insane.

There's joint responsibility.

For example, I'm a runner. If I'm on the pavement, I watch for cars coming out of driveways & prepare to stop.

I'm not Usain Bolt or anything but if I ran full tilt down a road, not checking, of course it would be my responsibility if a car hit me. They can have checked all round but me suddenly appearing would not be their fault.

Likewise, if a driver does shoot out of a drive, without checking and moving v slowly, then they are being irresponsible. This happens more than it should.

As a consequence I'm extremely wary, and will stop if I think a car might be moving out.

Everyone needs to take responsibility. In this case, OP (who has done), the parent of the child, who even seeing a neighbour get into their car, should have checked their child's position.

People keep talking about legal responsibility and I get it. But in practical common sense terms, it makes sense for everyone on roads and where there's traffic to be sensible, protect themselves and others.

Sadly I'm aware of more than one case where a child has been killed by a vehicle on a driveway. There have been no prosecutions as horrifically, it's usually the child's parent, or at least a close relative.

The law isn't the focus here. It's careful cautious action - which includes closer supervision by the parent here, and the safest driving by OP, which she did, tho I'd agree with reversing in, if possible.

Clymene · 27/07/2021 21:21

@DojoWojo -I have an autistic child. I know all about bolters, believe me.

You can never blame other people for your child's behaviour if they aren't doing anything wrong. My child has nearly been hit by a car and a tram. Not the drivers' fault. My child's fault.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/07/2021 21:23

@Ohfuckitall

I accept responsibility for what I do in my car - show me where I don't?

Literally all of your posts. Responsibility does not look like this: 'I'll try not to hit you with my car when you are on the pavement but if I do its because of how you used the pavement.'

Oh for goodness sake. This has not been said.
MsHedgehog · 27/07/2021 21:23

Read this thread this morning and felt sorry for you OP. Just caught up and you come across awfully entitled with a refusal to accept responsibility.

ButterflyCat2028 · 27/07/2021 21:24

The people telling you to reverse in to your own drive are utterly pathetic. It's your drive, you shouldn't have to change the way you park in your drive because parents are useless.

So sorry OP. You did nothing wrong whatsoever.

Those parents should actually be parents.

KormasABitch · 27/07/2021 21:24

@MsHedgehog

Read this thread this morning and felt sorry for you OP. Just caught up and you come across awfully entitled with a refusal to accept responsibility.
Perhaps more a reluctance to be criminalised for good intentions?
EarringsandLipstick · 27/07/2021 21:25

Cars shoudn't drive at moving children IMO.

She didn't drive at him.

She was unaware he was there, until he waved his arms about.

As she's a careful driver, she was proceeding slowly & checking but there are always blind spots.

OP is aware of the possibility for tragedy here, which is why she's so upset.

It just isn't possible to see all potential obstacles. That's why everyone needs to take care.

UneFoisAuChalet · 27/07/2021 21:27

I haven’t read the thread but…in my neighbourhood, last Friday, exactly this happened. A child died after a collision. I won’t pretend to know the exact details as it’s almost as if no one is discussing (gossiping) about the incident because it’s true is your worst nightmare as a parent.

Accidents happen and OP thank your lucky stars it was a near miss.

DojoWojo · 27/07/2021 21:27

if the child was properly supervised, it would never have happened

I'm not talking about fault or blame. But supervising does not prevent 100% of accidents. Children are unpredictable.

ScreamingBeans · 27/07/2021 21:32

This place is like Twitter sometimes.

Another vote for reversing onto your drive just so you know, cars use less petrol if you start them in 1st gear than if you start them in reverse, so if you always reverse into a space and drive forward out of a space, you will use less petrol.

I read somewhere it's an average of £100 a year, not sure I believe that, but anyway, what's not to like about that, as well as being safer.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/07/2021 21:32

@ButterflyCat2028

The people telling you to reverse in to your own drive are utterly pathetic. It's your drive, you shouldn't have to change the way you park in your drive because parents are useless.

So sorry OP. You did nothing wrong whatsoever.

Those parents should actually be parents.

No this isn't true either.

If she can reverse in, she should. (And OP says she's going to try this).

As a driver, you should do anything that's safer.

Which still doesn't mean this was OP's fault.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/07/2021 21:35

@DojoWojo

if the child was properly supervised, it would never have happened

I'm not talking about fault or blame. But supervising does not prevent 100% of accidents. Children are unpredictable.

Which is why you supervise them.

It's true that accidents happen, but a child supervised 100% won't be affected. The brutal truth for all parents / caregivers is that 100% supervision is not always possible.

We can only do our best. But if an accident as described here happens, sadly it is at least partly due to inadequate supervision.

BFrazzled · 27/07/2021 21:36

@ED81

Ffs!! This is not OP’s fault. Saying she should reverse into her driveway!

I’m sorry this happened to you. What a fright you must have gotten. Hope you feel better very soon.

A little conversation with the parents to make them be more acutely aware perhaps?

Take care xx

Nothing like a little conversation to make you more acutely aware after your child was nearly run over same morning.

Unless she explains it slowly and in simple English these parents would never understand...
/s

Nanny0gg · 27/07/2021 21:38

I’d love to see where you all live, as where I live I rarely see a car reversed onto a drive

DojoWojo · 27/07/2021 21:39

So a parent holding a child's hand tightly, then the child suddenly pulls free and runs.... the parent isn't supervising the child?

Supervision does not prevent 100% of accidents. It just reduces the risk significantly.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 27/07/2021 21:39

Just looked out my window and can see nine cars, none of which have reversed onto their drive. Quiet cul de sac. Obviously it's not universally known that one should do this.

To be fair for some houses, including mine, you could not open the back car doors, or in other cases, the drivers door, if you reversed on because of wall s (yes some drives are that small!). Now contemplating if there is anything I can do about it as neighbours toddlers are frequently out of control

DojoWojo · 27/07/2021 21:40

Sorry, that was to @earringsandlipstick quote fail!

EarringsandLipstick · 27/07/2021 21:41

@Nanny0gg

I’d love to see where you all live, as where I live I rarely see a car reversed onto a drive
That's a bit strange?

People live in all sorts of different streets & areas; reverse parking may not always be possible though it usually is.

In my estate, a cul de sac, it's about 50:50 the neighbours who reverse in / don't.

Several absolutely should as reversing out is really dangerous given the location of their houses.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/07/2021 21:43

@DojoWojo

So a parent holding a child's hand tightly, then the child suddenly pulls free and runs.... the parent isn't supervising the child?

Supervision does not prevent 100% of accidents. It just reduces the risk significantly.

I've had 3 DC and just don't believe a child can pull away from a (physically much stronger) parent like that.

I know you disagree but I can't see how it would happen.

olidora63 · 27/07/2021 21:45

I really feel for you . This is my biggest fear about car parks generally. WHY DO PEOPLE WALK BEHIND A REVERSING CAR . This happens all the time and a toddler was behind my car last week as I started to reverse but I luckily saw the mum who was behind the toddler. I had done as much checking as possible but don’t have reverse sensors .
Take a deep breath and do what I am going to do and get sensors fitted.💐

mintied · 27/07/2021 21:48

Can I just say that not everyone drives as carefully as you did today. It's so easy to skip steps especially if you are running late and you certainly don't expect a little kid stood behind you so early in the day. You should be proud of yourself for doing the right thing and you have certainly raised awareness of what could happen. When I reverse out of my driveway at 7am tomorrow I will be thinking of you and will double check. Thankyou

WrongWayApricot · 27/07/2021 21:48

So did this happen in Greece or Romania? I reverse into my drive and have reversing cameras and sensors but I still get scared I'll miss something. The dad really shouldn't have let him out of sight on the street though, he's too young to know how dangerous it is to walk up to a moving car.

DishingOutDone · 27/07/2021 21:50

But surely if the OP reverses into her drive she’s being incredibly reckless in case she hits someone? After all she’s driving on the pavement. With all the reversing in and out she’s asking for trouble.

Frazzledd · 27/07/2021 21:51

@mintied

Can I just say that not everyone drives as carefully as you did today. It's so easy to skip steps especially if you are running late and you certainly don't expect a little kid stood behind you so early in the day. You should be proud of yourself for doing the right thing and you have certainly raised awareness of what could happen. When I reverse out of my driveway at 7am tomorrow I will be thinking of you and will double check. Thankyou
Totally agree with this-
Swipe left for the next trending thread