Child to Parent Violence - news article

[sunflowerdaysinmay]

'You'd walk out if your husband hit you - you can't when it's your child'

www.bbc.com/news/stories-57942296*
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Has anyone seen this? That poor family must be at the end of their tether. I'd never considered child to parent violence in the context of DV. Reading about it makes me wonder how prevalent it actually is!? Am I just incredibly naive? Really shows how we don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

I hope they find the help that they need.

We can access mainstream childcare with a LOT of support but I'm thinking about one to one, PA type stuff. The Break Time stuff is open to all with disabilities but DS is too able for most disability-aimed stuff and too disabled for most mainstream stuff.

@drspouse

We can access mainstream childcare with a LOT of support but I'm thinking about one to one, PA type stuff. The Break Time stuff is open to all with disabilities but DS is too able for most disability-aimed stuff and too disabled for most mainstream stuff.

Yes its not one size fits all is it? Ironically i find a, lot of the disabillity groups available in my town are not suitable for my son as a, lot of the activities are aimed at those children who are higher functioning,. Not sure what the answer

And third type of problem...mine won't acknowledge they have a disability so won't go.

I work in safeguarding; child-to-parent violence is an enormous problem. but it often extends through adulthood too. Most of my domestic homicide reviews these days are (adult) child/parent situations.

Another here who is dealing with this 😢
My life isn’t worth living some days.

As pp have said, it's very common for children with certain SN to be aggressive.
My eldest broke my nose and bit me all the time when he was younger. He's now very easy going and gentle most of the time but it took a lot to get to that point. My youngest didn't become violent until he was older but once he started to become aggressive it escalated FAST! he hit me and punched my stitches after I got home from hospital after an operation (not related to him). He was regularly aggressive towards his 1:1 / 2:1 support workers. Last year after he hit my husband with a chair and injured his arm we finally got people to listen and were able to get help for him and he's now on anti psychotics and diazapam. He's only 20. It's no life for the poor lad. It's so unfair. We're terrified for what's going to happen to him after we're dead.

@BlackeyedSusan

And third type of problem...mine won't acknowledge they have a disability so won't go.

Mine is too young fortunately to see that the Break Time activities (outdoors type stuff) are for disability. I can see if I took him to the Saturday club at the PMLD school he might feel a bit out of place but we aren't going to even try that. He's confused as to why some children his age at his school can't even manage simple addition (he's 9 and age appropriate for maths) but he doesn't think of it as "them" and "me" or "I don't have a disability but they do".

Also, I have HUGE issues with the concept that "they hurt mum because they love her, she's the child's safe space".
This is repeated all the time on parent groups "aww, he must love you and feel safe with you".
While my DS DOES feel safe with me and love me he didn't start preferentially attacking me till he was at school with a group of other excluded children and started also coming home saying "girls can't do X" and "only boys can do Y".
It's a completely sexist attitude and if anyone said "aww, he must love you to beat you" about a partner they'd rightly be relegated to the dungeon of horrendous attitudes that we have left behind.
It tells girls who have a brother who shows CPV that they are being loved by a man who hits them.

When my son hits out, he does itt through frustration, anger etc, he doesnt have the cognitive ability to know why he is doing and will sometimes attack the nearest person, but then a few minutes later he will come up and give me a cuddle