Who was at fault here?

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

A is taking DC to a swimming lesson. On the way there, about 5 miles from home discovers they've forgotten the swimming kit. A phones B on the mobile to ask them to bring said swimming stuff to A's location. B doesn't hear the phone ringing because it's upstairs charging. A is now pissed off with B and blaming B for them being late to the swimming lesson.

So who is at fault really? A, B or DC (who is nearly 12)

DC who is old enough to pack own swimming things, certainly not B.

It's definitely not Bs fault, at 12 the dc should be packing their own bag!

Did they just forget the swimming costume or the whole bag?

Oh, I wonder which one you are….?

A, and DC. A should have reminded or checked DC had their kit. DC is also old enough to make sure.
B isn't at fault at all, imo.

Hmm, if I was A and DH was B, I'd have hump, knowing full well it was my fault, but trying to make it B's fault

Mostly DS.

Both A and B had equal responsibility to check that DS had the bag.

Most at fault: the 12 year old child.
Somewhat at fault: A (guessing the dad? Since they seek to think that the mental load has nothing to do with them)
Not at fault at all: B.

If A had just turned round instead of wasting time calling B then they probably wouldn't have been late.

omg, it's just a swim lesson. Live & Learn. Honestly.

DC and A. B not at fault at all!!

Just out of interest those who are saying the child,
Would you expect them to pack the kit ie get costume from draw, towel from wherever, any toiletries, or do you mean just remember pre packed bag?

@Highfive2021

Just out of interest those who are saying the child, Would you expect them to pack the kit ie get costume from draw, towel from wherever, any toiletries, or do you mean just remember pre packed bag?

At 12yo, I'd expect them to have packed the bag independently, but I would usually have reminded them to do it in good time and checked they'd actually got it in the car.

Anyone but B.

A & DC

The child who at 12 is old enough to be packing their own bag!

@Attheheart and would you have done the reminding of you were person B?

A and DC.

I would expect my dc aged 11 and 9 to pack their own bags for swimming. If i was taking them swimming I would check they had their bags as we left. I mean, all that requires is glancing in their direction.

If I was a betting woman, Id guess A is dad and he ‘didnt think’ about the kit as thinking is for women???

I’m presuming A and B are the child’s parents and one of them isn’t just a kindly friend or grandparent offering a lift!!

Anyone apart from B. Although at 12 I’d have expected the DC to bring their own swimming kit, tbh.

DC should have sorted it themselves at 12, A should have double checked, B in the clear.

A obviously trying to make it anyone’s fault but theirs.

It’s their fault, then the DC.

B isn’t at fault at all.

This is a reverse, right? A of course, followed by DC.

The child and the person who didn't check to make sure they had everything. Obvs.

@Highfive2021

Just out of interest those who are saying the child, Would you expect them to pack the kit ie get costume from draw, towel from wherever, any toiletries, or do you mean just remember pre packed bag?

I'd expect them to be able to get their kit together and take it with them.

Depends if DC has ever been asked to pack and bring the kit? In my house they most certainly would have been by the age of 12 (well by about age 7/8 tbh with less checking as the years go on).

If the DC never has to get his own kit then it’s A’s fault.