Tell me one thing about your divorce which you would never have predicted

[NoEffingWaytoSurvive]

For me, it was DS gaining step-brothers and for the first time in his life having playmates. He is so happy and content, and he finally has the siblings infertility meant I couldn't give him biologically.

@LunaNorth, that really resonates for me. I had no idea when he left me that he'd move so far away that he only sees our youngest son a maximum of 4 weeks a year.

That I’d be financially better off as a single mum than I was married to a tightwad earning £50k! With my own earnings, tax credits and his maintenance I am able to provide a nice life for my kids and he’s now earning 6 figures so can pay his way too. When we were married he was quite controlling with money and had very different priorities for spending it.

@MarkRuffaloCrumble same here - I don't fret nearly as much about money these days

What a horrible, vicious, spiteful, petty bastard my ex is!

By the end, it wasn't a happy marriage, but I'd been ground down for so long, I didn't realise just how abusive it had been. Once exH couldn't control me anymore, and I had refused to throw myself at his mercy and beg him to stay, he turned nasty.

Looking back, I can see that he was always like that, but played nice while he got what he wanted. But the sudden change totally blindsided me.

@MarkRuffaloCrumble and @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop Yes! I thought that money would be tight, but I have savings now, a nice but not extravagant lifestyle, and we can afford a small holiday each year (when it's allowed!)

Yep, my exH was tight as a ducks backside and it's so nice to have financial freedom!

@Onlinedilema

That he wouldn’t pay child maintenance. That I would eventually meet the love of my life and be with someone who adores me.

Ditto. Same scenario here. Twat pays absolute buttons for his 3 children as he deals mostly with cash as he has his own business. Butttttt on the upside, like you, I’ve meet the love of my life and my kids absolutely adore him and likewise.

@Bingowingslikeashieldofsteel

That despite a succession of girlfriends who have demanded he divorce me immediately because they need to get married, here we are over 7 years on still married/undivorced because I haven't organised it (and more importantly, paid for it!).

I went through a benevolent stage a few years back where I would have gone halves, there's no real drama to sort out, kids are older and no assets to divide (he's screwed me over already so that ship has sailed!) but then his latest girlfriend proved to be a right shrieky twat so fuck that. My partner thinks it's quite cool he's shagging a married woman so I'm in no rush

Hmmmm … I dunno. If you win the lottery next week that prat and his shrieky gf will have a claim. I’d get that sorted tbh (and I presume you have a will - tho he could still make a claim ….)

Its sad actually and I still think about it. But we weren't progressing in life and maybe that was my fault for having high expectations. I didnt want to be divorced but I couldn't stay in the marriage. My exh is doing exactly the same as we used to but with another gf and child and that's fine hes entitled to move on but it also confirms I was right to do what I did. Im happier now but in different ways, a nice house and a second career that I've worked my backside off to get which I wouldn't have had before.