Page 2 | My 15 year old son finally put on a wash! He's had no clean clothes or sheets for 2 months

ItPearl · 2021-07-18T09:33:43+00:00

And that's how long it took him to crack. Wow. He puts up a good fight. But I think ............................................. I've won this one (?) I work full time and he sits in his bedroom full time, so I don't think it's too much to ask that he do his own laundry. I told him this two months ago and he responded ''no way''. So. I feel like I'm getting somewhere! Glad I didn't cave and give in.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 18/07/2021 11:31

My DS cooks , uses the bread machine , sometimes tidies his room puts his washing in the washing basket and showers daily .
But Hell will freeze over before I let him near my Miele washing machine

When he leaves home he can buy his own or go to a laundrette .
I also threaten him if he leaves anything in his pockets that damages my WM he'll need to take all the washing to the laundrette till its fixed

It works

JustGiveMeGin · 18/07/2021 11:41

I salute your determination of steel
Whoever said they would worry about him being picked on at school.....surely the dirty, lazy little bugger would realise it is not generally socially acceptable to stink and, y'know, put his clothes in the washing machine 🤔
I work full time and the kids just have to suck it up and do some jobs. We all live in the house and contribute to the mess so I don't see why I should be solely responsible for cleaning it. I don't think they will die from picking their clothes up and hoovering now and again

megletthesecond · 18/07/2021 11:41

Actually it's a good idea doing it in the school hols ....

coodawoodashooda · 18/07/2021 11:43

Well done op.

Original poster

ItPearl · 18/07/2021 11:49

I didn't want him to smell! but I thought either he cares about himself or he doesn't. I can't do self-respect for somebody else.

I have not worried about him being picked on for a long time. Once, when he was 10 and I was walking 15 metres behind him, 3 boys in the year above were mocking him and sniggering, he ran towards them like a fearless jack russell yelling insults back at them. They didn't say anything the next day.

my dd aged 18 is obsessed with what people think of her. I wish I could even out their investment in to what ''other people'' think.

OP posts:

viques · 18/07/2021 11:54

I find it a bit disturbing that these young men have got the end of their teens without learning a bit of self care. I hope this thread acts as a heads up to the parents of 10+. It’s never too early to learn a few basic skills.

KateF · 18/07/2021 12:05

Wow you have a stubborn one there! I went on strike when dd called me lazy (I work more hours than her) and she lasted 5 days.

An acquaintance recently posted on Facebook about how her dd went off to uni unable to cook or use a washing machine. I just thought that was pretty unkind, why not teach them the skills they need to look after themselves?

LindaEllen · 18/07/2021 12:07

Well done! I told DSS(17) that he has to start doing his own washing recently too. He does, but refuses to hang it out so the tumble dryer is always on, and if there's any tea towels in the washing machine (we put them in as we finish with them and wash them with the next wash) he removes them before he washes his clothes, or if he doesn't notice, he dumps them on the floor when they're washed and wet, rather than drying them and putting them away. He's not responsible for the tea towels we ALL use, apparently. It drives me mad.

JustGiveMeGin · 18/07/2021 12:11

I have made sure my kids showered daily and wore clean clothes daily, however I am not arguing with a fifteen year old lad....if he wants to stink it's up to him! Luckily for me he has continued the daily shower/clean clothes routine but I know a few parents of lads in his year at school that have clearly lost the battle, they are decent people who tried their best but unfortunately their lads know how to push their buttons and this is not the hill they want to die on! Eventually a good bit of peer pressure will more than likely sort them out but I'd say once kids are in year 9/10 unless they are truly disgusting they need to start figuring this shit out for themselves or we end up with another generation of men like the many useless ones available to read about on here that are incapable of thinking for themselves as mummy always did the thinking for them!

Knittedfairies · 18/07/2021 12:16

I salute you @ItPearl - two months...

PegasusReturns · 18/07/2021 12:18

I find it a bit disturbing that these young men have got the end of their teens without learning a bit of self care. I hope this thread acts as a heads up to the parents of 10+. It’s never too early to learn a few basic skills

@viques you don’t have teens do you

Most parents, me included, spent a lot of time teaching basic skills as our DC grew up. They’re all great little helpers when they’re 10. And then many stop.

It’s generally not because teens haven’t been parented effectively and more because teens are self centred and spend a lot of time suiting themselves. It’s developmentally normal.

Orangeblack88 · 18/07/2021 12:20

Ha I love "I work full time and he sits in his bedroom full time" 😂

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 18/07/2021 12:20

Bloody good for you
One less man who thinks women are domestic appliances!

1starwars2 · 18/07/2021 12:21

Ah ha, a plan for my DS who is 14 and self isolating. He can learn laundry life skills tomorrow.

IncessantNameChanger · 18/07/2021 12:25

Well done OP! The washing machine is the last thing for my 17 year old to use.

I remember the first time I left all of the crockery in his room. He caved in and did his normal run down the stairs, tripped and smashed the lot 🤣 shouldn't laugh as I lost many plates and cups but since he hovered it all up, he brings his cups down three times a day now.

Somethings things have to break before they are fixed.

MaMelon · 18/07/2021 12:32

Well done for standing strong OP 💪 😂

Can I also point out to posters who are concerned about the male view of females as people who tidy up after them that it’s just as important to teach girls? I have three DC (2 adults, 1 teen) and I have had just as many battles with my DD as I have had with my DSs (who are far, far tidier than she is). I know I’m not alone in this from speaking to friends. It’s important that male and female children learn to look after themselves (and not give any future partners problems).

Imnothereforthedrama · 18/07/2021 12:33

My dd is the opposite I suppose girls are usually cleaner , but she’ll wear a T-shirt for a nano second and it’ll be in the wash . I had to tell her to just throw her washing in the basket with the rest of our washing and I’ll bung it together as I was sick of her using the machine every day for 2 or 3 things that didn’t need washing and wet washing draped round the house . I’m not sure what’s worse !

beigebrownblue · 18/07/2021 12:34

jolly well done OP

DidgeDoolittle · 18/07/2021 12:39

@RaraRachael

This sounds like my son. He used exactly the same bedding at uni for a whole term because he "didn't know how to use the washing machine"

Hate to play too trumps, but my son didn't change his sheets all year at uni. Just threw it all away at the end.

seashells11 · 18/07/2021 12:41

Well done Op. Hopefully if he ever gets married he won't expect a wife to run to round after him.

Sexnotgender · 18/07/2021 12:54

An acquaintance recently posted on Facebook about how her dd went off to uni unable to cook or use a washing machine. I just thought that was pretty unkind, why not teach them the skills they need to look after themselves?

That’s really sad! I’ve been teaching my teenager to cook so she doesn’t get scurvy at university!

We’re also 2 weeks into something I like to call “university challenge”. She is moving into halls in 8 weeks so I’ve made her provide her budget for the year and live on her food/toiletries budget before she goes. It’s been a real eye opener for her and has taught some valuable lessons.
I can’t imagine sending her off with zero idea of how to cook or budget

Original poster

ItPearl · 18/07/2021 13:35

Apparently.... he is going to a marvel movie tomorrow with ''Leo, Theo and Dylan''. I guess he didn't want to stink. So I guess it wasn't MY victory, it was just timing! But I'm so delighted he's leaving his bedroom.

OP posts:

MaMelon · 18/07/2021 13:52

Clean sheets and a trip out with pals - this is a good day, OP!

Wait until a girlfriend/boyfriend comes on the scene and they’ll be no stopping him

MaMelon · 18/07/2021 13:52

*There’ll

FizziWater · 18/07/2021 14:04

@Sexnotgender

An acquaintance recently posted on Facebook about how her dd went off to uni unable to cook or use a washing machine. I just thought that was pretty unkind, why not teach them the skills they need to look after themselves?

That’s really sad! I’ve been teaching my teenager to cook so she doesn’t get scurvy at university!

We’re also 2 weeks into something I like to call “university challenge”. She is moving into halls in 8 weeks so I’ve made her provide her budget for the year and live on her food/toiletries budget before she goes. It’s been a real eye opener for her and has taught some valuable lessons.
I can’t imagine sending her off with zero idea of how to cook or budget

I love that, university challenge! I did something similar in the summer before uni. Cookery lessons beyond pasta and a jar of sauce. I took them shopping and showed them how to choose and buy the best value. Things like the freshest stuff is at the back, calculate the price per kilo to compare, different cuts of meat etc. It might seem obvious but they both found it enlightening.

As to laundry and other household stuff I was made to do most of the housework as a child. I didn't want my DC to feel like I did. I made sure they knew how to put washing on, clean the bathroom etc but never made them do all their own. That way if I asked them to hoover, strip the beds or cook dinner they would happily do it. As to washing, it's more efficient to do the whole household together I never understood the thing where each does their own.