Tinder and ‘getting back out there’

[CrunchyKnot]

In chat so this doesn’t stick around 🙈

Separated 18 months ago. Joined Tinder, more out of curiosity. Has nearly put me off men for life but feel this is a necessary step to move on and considering restrictions etc limiting chance meetings.

What’s the deal with tinder? Have exchanged numbers with a couple of the ‘less bad’ ones but all very keen on sexting. I’m not looking for anything serious and this could be good to help with ‘moving on’, but! It just makes me cringe 🤣

Just looking for some expert advice on it all I guess!

I find tinder and all sites in general to be a bloody minefield! Even the ones who put shit like "no one night stands" or "seeking something genuine" are just horny fiends who don't know how to behave.

Got no advice just here to sympathise!

I have had more people interested in relationships through Match.com and Bumble.

I never tried Tinder, too scary. I thought Hinge had a lot of attractive men on it, had one guy there I talked to for a bit. Met current bf on a site for over 50s.

For one night stands, which was what I wanted for a couple of years, I used Adult Friend Finder and Fabswingers. I liked the complete lack of ambiguity and I don't mind looking at penises.

Buyer beware. My cheating STBX husband was on Tinder , Bumble. Shame that the possibility of meeting someone half decent is so difficult.

After 2 years of being single and being on every dating app, all I can say is they are an absolute waste of time.

I was fed up with sexting, fed up with dick picks, fed up of weird men.

So now...I've accepted at 31 I will be a single lone parent for the rest of my life and use my time more constructively than spending my evening swiping through apps 😂

Have any of you watched the single wives on Netflix? Gives some good advice.

I sort of met my DP on tinder. Admittedly it was a funny one, I’m a QS, he’s an architect and we’d had a bit of a spat over emails on a project and I spotted his company name and obviously his name on his bio and sent him a jokey message about it…
The rest as they say his history!
Tinder is a bit scary but I know a lot of people my age (late 20s/early 30s who really rate hinge)

In chat so this doesn’t stick around

I thought they stopped deleting old chat threads...

I'd avoid tinder like the plague. Have had friends use it. Yikes!

I'd go for a paid service. Imagine weeds out many arseholes.

What about bumble? Saw it in the news the other day. Think it would appeal to me more than the others if I was single.

bumble.com/en/

Do you know what puts me off Bumble @NiceGerbil - I sort of expect lots of passive men to flock there.

Men that are too scared to ask women out and like the ways option. In my experience this kind of passivity spills over into other areas. What do others think?

*like the easy option

I met my partner on tinder a few years ago, I think it’s worth persevering

@Maria53

Do you know what puts me off Bumble *@NiceGerbil* - I sort of expect lots of passive men to flock there.

Men that are too scared to ask women out and like the ways option. In my experience this kind of passivity spills over into other areas. What do others think?

Horses for courses. Everyone has different tastes.

I have always preferred men who are not the approachy type. I understand that is definitely not everyone's taste!

@GiantWingedWaspMoth

In chat so this doesn’t stick around

I thought they stopped deleting old chat threads...

Yes was going to say the same thing, think you need to get this moved to 30 days only if you don’t want it staying around

And yes online dating is a bit rubbish. I’m on tinder but there’s so few single men where I live there’s no real point going on the other apps as it’s all the same people altho I do have bumble and hinge in case but it’s always the same guys. Mostly tinder just cycles thru the same people! I know the theory is you swipe left and never see them again but cos the dating options are so limited they all come round again. Sick of their faces at this point and sure they feel the same way about me.

Had a brief fling with one guy whose pics were a good few years out of date, he ghosted me then popped back up a year later with his real name and age, turned out I had inadvertently been the other woman which obvs I feel shit about.

Another guy I had a date with is def single but his pics were also five years out of date, he was a lot bigger which isn’t necessarily an issue but it meant I had a totally different image in my head of him plus it’s just starting things off on a lie. All the others have gone nowhere after lots of dry convo. None of them ever message first these days and I am so sick of always having to start the convo as then I feel responsible for keeping it going.

I was on Hinge and it was fun for a while and less of a hookup site than Tinder, I'd say, but I found it slightly overwhelming in terms of the time it takes to sift through the likes.

And like all dating sites, there are plenty of weirdos and timewasters. I sort of lost interest after a few weeks as it seemed a bit depressing.

I think for online dating to be worth it you have to be either just looking for a hookup, or be properly, seriously committed to finding a new relationship. If you don't care that much either way it doesn't seem like the right forum somehow.

Thanks everyone - and oops re thinking chat still disappears 😬

Maybe I just need to go with the flow and try a bit of sexting. I’m not looking for a serious relationship but kinda thought if it happened it would be nice

I was on ALL the sites off and on for years.

More shit dates and “hows u hun” than you can imagine.

Eventually met DH on Tinder. He used paragraphs in his opening message. We were married within six months.

I just don’t know if I can be bothered with the effort of a date for it to turn out to be shit 🙈😆

Friend & DD both say Tinder is heavy on flirting but little on meeting up (in last 18m). They enjoy that. DD can't keep track of which fellow is which but likes surveying the large menu.

I’m sure at least one I was speaking to is married. Really cagey. Then when I didn’t message got a shitty ‘are we talking or what, I can’t be bothered messing around’ so I blocked him.

A couple seem nice, but always v flirty and a bit cheeky. I’m rusty and out of presto e so I wonder if this is normal now

Shudder at the memory of Hows u hun? Messages, the dick pics entitled men and penpal seeking messages. I was in my early 20s getting messages from 50 year olds who then got nasty at a polite no thank you.

Another one who blocks at 'how's you hun'

@occa I think you're right. You kind of have to know what you want before you start, online people are very intolerant about just seeing how things go.

Would it be bad to just slip into some sexting when you barely know them??!

Never appealed to me really and definitely not with strangers! Can't see the point. Each to their own though!