Random shit that embarrasses you

[Sparklyboots]

.... I'll start. People peering into my shopping basket. I find it mortifying and feel inexplicably defensive (without really being clear what I am defending or for what reason). I feel the same whether it's tomatoes in the basket or condoms and pile cream. The self-service thing is such a relief.

This is an ace thread!

For me:

Buying lunch in the staff canteen or even worse a breakfast!

Going to the fish & chip shop & I can't recall when I last ordered a takeaway

Carrying drinks to colleagues/friends - I can't help but shake!

No coat outside - me too - feel naked!

When you’ve achieved something at work and everyone claps for you in a meeting or similar. Are you supposed to clap as well or just sit there and smile?! I always feel so awkward sitting there grinning while everyone looks at me and claps

Walking down the aisle of a packed train trying to find somewhere to sit.

Walking into busy cafe/pub and friend says: where do you want to sit? My brain says oh fucking hell, I don't know. Please choose for me!

Oh yes, add “leaving presentations” to that. I can’t stand being the subject of one, the person having to say the nice things, or a member of the audience. Cringe.

My husband is mortified that I'll walk to the shops and carry the shopping home in reusable bags (normally cotton ones but not exclusively).

He can't even articulate why so I continue with my mortifying habit of buying things from the local shops (greengrocers, butchers etc) and walking home.

People noticing/paying attention to me I get embarrassed by. I loathe being the centre of attention...which explains the small private wedding and complete joy that my 40th was in the 1st strict lockdown!

I get embarrassed when I say hallo to someone in a supermarket then you see them at every aisle to follow. I feel obliged to continue a conversation rather than ignore them ( that would be worse). So the 1st aisle might be general chitchat, the 2nd How's the family the 3rd Holidaying anywhere? Then the Grande Finale at the checkout, a general moan about prices / queues whilst trying to pack the bloody bags.

Also, when people leave a workplace; the smiling and clapping at the speeches, the tears ( these could be because of the warm cava in plastic flutes). Then everyone scurries away, only to find The Leaver at the end of the day to say cheerio, good luck, keep in touch ( they won't), again.

I refuse to celebrate my birthday at work because of the cake and song and stare thing. I’ve always thought I was uniquely weird until this thread!

Phoning anyone other than my kids, parents and dp. I don't even phone my friends. Just text me people!
I really have to psych myself up for a conversation with a stranger.

Going to the gym. I can go running outside, but I feel so self conscious in the gym, and feel stupid working out at home myself! It's pathetic.

Anything that means people will be watching me. I was a bridesmaid once for a friend and honestly thought I was going to collapse walking down the Isle with everyone staring. I was sweating, and so conscious of the way I was moving. A few people said I looked like I was going to faint. I almost had a panic attack waiting outside the doors to go in!

Er pretty much everything in my day to day life, it just all registers differently on the scale.

Walking across the full school carpark to get a parking ticket is fairly low level but it registers.

Going to the beach in a big group of people is high up there.

Basically unless I'm home alone and not required to interact with anyone like delivery drivers or zoom calls or neighbours, it's embarrassing and awkward.

people clapping along to music then it gets awkward as it winds down and a few are clapping out of synhc. cringe worthy.

DP is very easily embarrassed so he has a long list of these

• His car is always immaculate but if we’re going away or to visit someone he absolutely must clean it inside and out as if the person we’re visiting might inspect his glove compartment for dust. He was mortified on holiday recently when a seagull shit all over the car and he couldn’t find a car wash to get it cleaned off immediately
• At the end of First Dates when they say whether they want to see each other again he has to leave the room or cover his ears
• Someone he works with is rather lacking in the personal hygiene department and is known for being quite smelly. Because of this DP lives in fear of anyone thinking he smells so covers himself in two different deodorants plus aftershave every day. I can tell whether he’s in the house or not just by the waves of fragrance that roll off him.

@WTFisNext

My husband is mortified that I'll walk to the shops and carry the shopping home in reusable bags (normally cotton ones but not exclusively).

He can't even articulate why so I continue with my mortifying habit of buying things from the local shops (greengrocers, butchers etc) and walking home.

People noticing/paying attention to me I get embarrassed by. I loathe being the centre of attention...which explains the small private wedding and complete joy that my 40th was in the 1st strict lockdown!

Oh god yes, I'm engaged and I spend an inordinate amount of brain energy on trying not to think about all the photos that a wedding entails 😱

Work speeches… I once worked somewhere that every Christmas the directors would come in and do a speech about each person individually and then give them a voucher. You were expected to then do a little speech in return. It was nice and well intentioned but mortifying for me I wanted the ground to swallow me up every time.

People applauding me. Hate it. I always end up applauding with them, so probably look like a right narcissistic twat.

I am terminally embarrassed on account of being fat so

Sitting on any unreliable looking chair
Eating any food in front of anyone ever
Speaking on the phone - especially in front of someone else

When we visit in-laws and sit down for dinner and serve up at the table, pour drinks, say grace and start to tuck in before they decide they want a photo of everyone at the table. There must be hundreds of pics of me on their hard drive smiling away with half a roast potato in my mouth.

And for those who find the opening presents in front of people and vice versa, I see you and offer you a little glimpse in to Xmas at my in laws house when everyone has to take it in turns to open a present and have their photo taken with it before the next person can go. Cringetastic.

Urgh yes, watching - or much much worse, making - any work speech, and especially leaving speeches!

Waiting to cross the road, at strange junctions. When the traffic is stopped, and there’s no other traffic coming, but the pedestrian light is still red.

I feel like the driver is judging me for being a wuss, or a jobsworth, and try not to look at them

Also needing to leave for the toilet or something in a theatre, and having to ask everyone to stand up so you can get past. And then to stand up again so you can get past a few mins later

Getting on the bus. I'm always nervous like I'm going to have the wrong money or my pass won't scan properly or something. These things have never actually happened but I'm still really self conscious!

I'm the same as lots of people about ordering a takeaway. I can get a delivery no problem, or collect a pre order, but going in and asking for what I want and waiting for it brings me out in a cold sweat.

When I'm standing waiting to cross the road not at a crossing, but a driver stops and waves me across. I feel obliged to go quickly so end up doing a silly trot jog thing, and of course a silly wave/salute. Just let me wait for a gap in the traffic, you kind, thoughtful dickhead.

@Sparklyboots

Lol at preparing topics for casual chat at the hairdressers.

I also feel embarrassed when people.in coffee shops already know my order. I can't ever commit to being a regular - I hate realising they have noticed me

Absolutely this. If someone gets to know my order, that's the last time I'm going there!

I used to work in fast food though, and so many people prided themselves on being regulars and coming there every day. They'd get annoyed if you didn't know their order! I couldn't believe it.

Watching anyone sing in public. It doesn't matter if its X factor, a church choir or karaoke. It's awful and I want to start burrowing to China just to escape.

I hate when sales people won't leave me alone. I can't go to my favourite jewellery store any longer because the sales assistant insists on making painful small talk and trying to show me everything.

Starting a new job and having to do the awkward introductions.

Being sat by the window in restaurants, I can't bare people staring at me while I'm trying to enjoy a meal.

Taking selfies or group photographs

In anyone else's home for any reason:
"Would you like a drink?"
"Oh no thank you I'm fine"
"Are you sure? Coffee? Tea?"
"No really I'm not thirsty thanks"
"Milk? Orange squash? Blackcurrant?"
"Honestly, no I'm really fine thank you"
"Are you sure? Ok."
(Host gives guest weird look)

Doing a poo anywhere else bar my own loo. Or doing a poo if there is anyone else besides my own family in my house.