Random shit that embarrasses you

[Sparklyboots]

.... I'll start. People peering into my shopping basket. I find it mortifying and feel inexplicably defensive (without really being clear what I am defending or for what reason). I feel the same whether it's tomatoes in the basket or condoms and pile cream. The self-service thing is such a relief.

@FesteringTurd

Talking to my hairdresser. I only see her several times a year so we aren't 'close' and I'm conscious that I ask her the same mundane shit she's heard about 20 times that week already. I cringe when I can tell.

I try to think of original topics in advance

@FesteringTurd I've been going to the same salon for years. About 5 years ago a new beautician took over. At my first appointment with her I said I don't do salon talk so don't ask me if I'm going anywhere nice tonight or if I have any holidays planned this year. If you want to have a normal conversation, fine, otherwise stfu. We have been chatting about all and everything since then

Falling over in the street !!

@Junipersky

Wearing the same item of clothing as someone else. I once turned up for a meeting for my child who has SEN. The Educational Psychologist arrived wearing the exact same skirt as me. I don't know which one of us felt more awkward!

I think I can beat that one... I had a cardigan once, that was worn by the chimps in the PG Tips ad

When someone new starts at work, and they get dragged around the office being introduced to all and sundry, the awkward conversation after you’ve said nice to meet you. I never know what to say next. Worse is when you’re the person being dragged around. Mortifying

When someone passes me their baby to hold, like it’s an honour, and then the baby starts crying. I didn’t want to hold it in the first place and now everyone thinks babies hate me

When someone gets on the tube and starts busking. I want to DIE

I had a cardigan once, that was worn by the chimps in the PG Tips ad

Was it the actual cardigan then? 😁😄😄

pam so the chimps obviously had excellent taste 👍😀

Yep. Pity about the tea though. I always thought PG teabags tasted like the sweepings off the packaging room floor. But then I also regard Bombay Mix as the contents of the local takeaway’s hoover bag !!

Any kind of audience participation. I cringe horribly and have never taken my child to a panto!! I am terrified of being picked in to go up on stage. I would just refuse and then ruin the show.,..😳

Also clapping along, texts pinging, there is a long list.....

Opening birthday cards. Is there money? If there is do I count it!? Do I ignore it and read the card ? Do I pretend to not notice it as it flutters too the ground?
And if there is no money how do I hide the disappointment on my face!!!

@pam290358

I had a cardigan once, that was worn by the chimps in the PG Tips ad

Was it the actual cardigan then? 😁😄😄

Same style - and a bit flowery/frumpy tbf... Figured we must have shopped in the same places

@Sparklyboots

.... I'll start. People peering into my shopping basket. I find it mortifying and feel inexplicably defensive (without really being clear what I am defending or for what reason). I feel the same whether it's tomatoes in the basket or condoms and pile cream. The self-service thing is such a relief.

I read this as peeing into your shopping basket. I think I need sleep

@WTFisNext

My husband is mortified that I'll walk to the shops and carry the shopping home in reusable bags (normally cotton ones but not exclusively).

He can't even articulate why so I continue with my mortifying habit of buying things from the local shops (greengrocers, butchers etc) and walking home.

People noticing/paying attention to me I get embarrassed by. I loathe being the centre of attention...which explains the small private wedding and complete joy that my 40th was in the 1st strict lockdown!

I don't understand the issue with the reusable bags but my 40th was also in the same lockdown and I was over the moon I didn't have to have a big shitty party to keep everyone happy

What embarrasses me most - when I have to go to Drs/Nurse for the routine cervical smear test, Laying there with my lady bits on show

I love this thread by the way.

I hate having to get on a busy bus, always panic I’ll do the wrong thing. The worst is having to go upstairs, everyone stares at you and if there’s no space you have to go back downstairs. Sometimes there are people taking up 2 seats and I’m too mortified to ask them to make space for me.

Accidentally making eye contact on the tube with someone sitting opposite you. Actually London transport is a minefield of embarrassing encounters!

I also find it humiliating when you say something and the other person doesn’t hear you but there’s a 3rd person in earshot who notices. It’s making me sweat just thinking about it!

Speeches of any kind, at weddings of big parties when I hear that glass start clinking I feel myself sinking into my chair.
Even worse I went to one wedding once where the couple had family members who’d clink a glass and yell “KISS! KISS!” At intervals throughout the meal and the groom had to run and kiss the bride… BLURGHHHH.

Also networking of any kind, “so what do you do? tell me about your role?” NOOOOOOOOOO

When you’re out as a group at a restaurant, the food arrives, and someone ALWAYS goes: “everyone’s gone quiet now”. Everyone chuckles politely. Just fuck off will you!

When you’re walking out of a shop or something where there’s music playing, and the beat of the music is in time with your steps, so you feel like you’re walking to the rhythm.

@Puditt

Stupidly its buying knickers/pads/feminine products and even pregnancy tests at a cashier especially if it's a man. Im just aware that ,whilst they are holding the knickers to scan it, a stranger is having a glimpse at my delicacys. My worst irrational fear is trying to buy a pregnancy test or something discreet at a self checkout and then the checkout flagging up and calling over the assistance so everyone can see and attention is drawn to me. Worst nightmare! (I look about 16 although I'm far from it)

I once ordered some pregnancy tests from Amazon and saw them get delivered to my neighbours house. Panicked and ran straight over to be met by my older neighbour thrusting the retaped box in my hands all flustered saying “I’m so so sorry I thought it was something I’d ordered I didn’t check the name before I opened it”. We both had theee most awkward moment of being stood silently before I scurried off! We moved not long after thank god (not because of the pregnancy test awkwardness haha)

People paying me compliments 😩 what the heck are you supposed to do or say?!
Like what if I agree or if I disagree?
I actually have an internal meltdown then say (every single time) “oh wow, thank you”

When someone I'm with asks for a doggy bag. Or, even worse, accepts a free sample of food from someone

Oh and when you accidentally make eye contact with a stranger then it happens again and they must just be thinking ghat you were sat there staring at them

Dirty pushchair! I clean after every use. And brought a different so things like suncream didn't leave greasy marks as the material in old one was awful for it.

Oh and my parallel parking.. Hate it. If I feel watched I always fluff it up!

Oh there are so many things on here that make me embarrassed too!

Parents' evenings at school make me squirm in case I'm deemed to be a shit parent, even though I'm a teacher myself and would never make that judgement of someone else.

What about when you're having a massage and it actually hurts but when they ask if the pressure is ok, you're too embarrassed to say so just confirm all is good.

My library book choices.