Trapped toddler parents: Inspiration and support needed through the summer hols!!

[PinkDaydreams]

Following on from the previous trapped toddler thread!
Sorry for rubbish title!

@squishymamma, good news about your GTT test. You will be fine. Oh don't worry about the nappy incident. Try not to dwell. These things happen and then they pass. Boys and their bits .

How is everyone?

DH has been off again do we went to a localish forest and did the Gruffalo trail.

Hope everyone is ok.

@squishymamma don't beat yourself up. I really lost it at breakfast time the other day and thought that I'd ruined the day by starting out like that. But I recently saw a great post. I'm not generally into motivational quotes but this struck a chord.

It's so hard because we all lose it now and again and shout I'm sure (unless you happen to be Flop). I know I have.
We can try to do gentle parenting etc etc but sometimes with the tiredness and naughtiness it just becomes too much.

Thanks for the kind words, and good quote @footprintsintheslow!

Just had a nightmare of a bedtime, quite literally - DS went down really easily quite early but then must have had some kind of nightmare or night terror, DH went in to calm him and I could hear him just getting worse and worse. So I go in and try to calm him and DH shouts over the screaming "yeah he wasn't really breathing properly beforehand"

.......why would you say such a thing?? Cue me taking poor DS out into the bright living room, checking him all over, he's still bawling his eyes out, anxiety through the roof. He finally clocked the TV was on and calmed down a bit looking at that and I was able to get him settled and back into bed. A few screams here and there for about half an hour solved with sticking his dummy back in and now he's deep asleep (and I've stuck my finger under his nose 28481 times)

Afterwards DH qualifies he only meant he seemed a bit snotty... why would you not lead with the snot bit? Anyway my heart rate is slowly getting back to normal and I'm hoping I manage to sleep tonight! What a drama over something that wasn't really that big a deal.

That rant made me feel loads better, I love this thread! Hope everyone has a better bedtime than me

@squishymamma, oh no that sounds frightening, poor you. Hope you've managed to calm down. Get your DH to make you a cup of tea now and have a sit down with a favourite programme or something. Your DS is ok, perhaps he's starting with separation anxiety and just woke wondering where you are. Hope he sleeps well now and hope you get some sleep.

Thankfully my own DS are asleep and I'm glad as I'm shattered from walking in the forest, lugging the buggy that DS2 refused to sit in and carrying the picnic bag etc.

Quote of the day from DS1, "do you want your head hammering?" after he made a hammer out of a pencil and a soft toy block. Erm, no thanks, I'll leave that for another day .

Oh my @squishymamma you have really m run the gamut of bodily secretions lately, poo, snot Hope DS is ok.
Love the treehouse @footprintsintheslow!
We made boats with packaging polystyrene yesterday which was fun even though DD just wanted to cover hers in stickers. Today we have been for a paddle in the sea as all the cafes/ car parks are so busy with it being the last week of the summer hols! DS is not sleeping well at all and I have to admit I am struggling to stay cheerful and upbeat with the sleep deprivation. It is DS 1st birthday at the weekend though which I am looking forward to.

@Lostthetastefordahlias polystyrene boats sound like a good idea!

I was reading through this thread (sorry if I'm wrong and it was a different one) and pp mentioned child having devil horns and tail and it took me back to how smug I was feeling when son was 2 as he was an absolute delight, I'd been warned about terrible twos. My goodness though, I was never warned about the threenager stage!! He can be a little monster but then be so sweet and lovely.

Thanks for the mentioning Toby Tiger @footprintsinthesnow I bought some dresses for DD and they are a really good quality and great colours.

We've had a good week so far, been to the park on Tues and the Eden Project yesterday for a run around. Today I think we're just going to go down my mum's for a quiet day and then the in laws are taking the kids out to a tourist attraction tomorrow that has lots of little train they can ride on.

I'm still struggling with DS's behaviour, emailed his Senco worker who took two weeks to reply to say she will ring me the next morning, a week later and no phone call. Messaged a private company who I had to chase up to confirm if they could help or not. Rang me said they would get the ball rolling, month later not heard anything.. so not sure what else I can do.

Hi everyone,

@Lostthetastefordahlias, ah how lovely it will be DS's first birthday. Do you have any plans? Sorry to hear about the sleeping (or lack of). It's truly horrendous sleep deprivation, especially when it's ongoing. I still struggle with it. Hope you feel a bit better today?

@PinkDaydreams, yes I had a threenager. I say 'had' as he is 4 in a couple of months so I'm hoping we are heading towards the other side but at times (a lot of times) it's been awful. His behaviour, and then me shouting, then my mood because of me shouting and I don't think the lockdowns and being indoors helped so much last winter.

@Motherofmonsters, glad you've had a good week. That's not good you have not had the support you need so far. I would ring both every morning until you get an answer as to when they will start to help you. You are doing all you can in the meantime until you hear I think. Hope you are ok.

We've been having a tidy up and clear out after some decorating. I always have this urge to get things a bit more in order this time of year, think it's for the start of the school year, always feels like a new start and not as depressing as January. DS1 had no tears at drop off today at preschool or any whilst there do I'm hoping we may have cracked it.
We have plans to go to a local kids theme park on Saturday.

Hope everyone has a bit of sunshine today.

Oh great to hear DS seems to be settling again at preschool @Chocolatetrifle!! Such a relief, I remember going through it with DD. Also we have been completely the same about the twos/ threes @PinkDaydreams! At 2 Dd could not have been better behaved or sweeter, I used to love taking her anywhere, I thought people who used naughty steps or time outs were mad. Now she is 3 and omg the change Most days we are both crying at some point ha. DH keeps asking if we can try an effective discipline strategy as if that even exists. She is also still lovely at times, I should say at times when no one else is looking!!

@Motherofmonsters hope you get somewhere soon. So many people seem to mentally take the summer off, hopefully if you keep on at them by September they will show some response. Frustrating though as you shouldnt need to go to these lengths.

Keep checking if my Toby Tiger sale order is here but not yet You should be getting commission footprints

@Lostthetastefordahlias

Keep checking if my Toby Tiger sale order is here but not yet You should be getting commission footprints

Well mine was delayed as they emailed to say one item on as out of stock so what did I want to buy instead It took me a while to decide and I very sensibly said nothing else.

I can't believe I've got to almost 4 years into parenting and I've never heard of Toby Tiger! All the things look lovely.

My DS2 is completely on one, he's just running from one thing to another, either that or crying. I'm worn out!

@Lostthetastefordahlias three is literally hell on Earth at times isn't it.
My HV Said that no matter how bright and eloquent they are at communicating they are emotionally only 3 and basically that trips them up. They are babies still or as I like to call them 'total dicks' (sometimes).

I've recently found a great book called The languages of love for children and it's really helping. Also it's a small book that doesn't take long to read which helps. I'd recommend it to anyone. They also do the original version for adults and I've bought that to see if it can help our marriage.
It was recommended on MN for an alternative to actually going to counselling. We aren't in dire straits but we could do with help communicating.

Basically we all want to get loved in one of five different ways and when we know our own style or the style of our children it helps a lot.

I can walk to the Toby Tiger shop from my flat shows off

I'm also a fan of the five love languages @footprintsintheslow I might look up the children's version. DS1 is being a bit tricky atm 5 going on 15

Sorry to hear everyone's been slow @motherofmonsters hopefully in a week so when the schools have gone back/people are less likely to be on AL they'll all be quicker at responding.

We've had a nice day here, took the DC to do fun errands this morning (second hand kids clothes/toy shop, and food market) then in the afternoon my parents took us swimming and then back to ours for take away pizza. I found teeny tiny beach shoes in DS2s size in the second hand shop this morning so was pleased we got to use them and they didn't float off.

Ah that sounds like a perfect summer day @Camomila.
My order has arrived & it is lovely. Here is a discount code in case anyone might find it useful.

Sorry I missed answering your question about DS 1st birthday @Chocolatetrifle!! We are off up north to stay with the PILs. So they have kindly sorted the cake and the balloons etc!
Didnt know there was a 5love languages for children - definitely looking that up!!

Now with picture - doh!

@Lostthetastefordahlias, ah don't worry! That sounds a lovely plan for your son's birthday and welcome up north . Hope you have a great time celebrating.

@Camomila, that does sound like a lovely day indeed. Hope you are feeling a bit better this week.

@footprintsintheslow, it's good if you find a book that's got all you need in and not too long because it's getting the time to read them I find.

I think there's something a bit wrong when you are ready to go to bed before your toddler. DS2 has entered the refusing to go to bed stage and only went asleep at 9, again..

Night all x

Good morning! Waiting to get in to my office as they're changing the lights so thought it was a good time to catch up on here.

@Lostthetastefordahlias sleep deprivation is so difficult, it's a good job it doesn't last forever! Hope you manage to get enough sleep. Sounds like you have a lovely 1st birthday lined up,

@Motherofmonsters sorry to hear it's been so hard to get support. Hope someone comes back to you soon, sounds like you've done everything you can! Hope your DC have a good time today, sounds like a great place and one my DS would love

@Chocolatetrifle sounds like your DS is starting to settle in a bit more which is great! I get that urge to clear out after summer too, gives me a real sense of satisfaction to have everything ready for the start of the normal routine. Hope your DS2 realises how wonderful bed is soon it's so funny that we spend all our time avoiding bed when we're kids, then that's the place we want to be early when we're adults!

@footprintsintheslow DH and I have spent loads of time talking about our love languages but I didn't realise there was a child version! Is it very similar? The best "counselling" we ever did was The Pre-Marriage Course by Nicky and Sila Lee, so many good strategies for understanding and communicating with each other. It's from a Christian viewpoint, but I can highly recommend regardless of your views

We've had an uneventful few days, just work and preschool. Working on getting DS to stay asleep until at least 5.30am, today he woke up at 5.50 which was fab because I could then get everything prepped for the day before he woke up. DH made a lovely apple cake yesterday with apples from the tree in the (shared) garden, I've never had anything like that before so getting free fruit to bake with is a real novelty!

Hope you all have a good day, TGIF!!

@squishymamma, ooooh, apple cake. That sounds delicious. Hope the day in the office went well today, the weekend is here now. Hope your DS stays in bed until a decent hour in the morning, and definitely beyond 5.30. I'm very much looking forward to seeing some 7 am get ups hopefully some time soon (wishful thinking).

Hope everyone is ok. I saw this today and got a packet to try as I've never seen it before, it's called 'elasti-clay'. Sort of a mix between slime and play-doh but not as messy as slime. If anyone's little ones are into this kind of thing

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Ooo DS would love that @chocolatetrifle I may have to get some.

I don't think anyone can top my exciting day of defrosting the freezer. It was frozen solid so I got the hair dryer out. It worked really well. I had a day of quiet and sorting out the house. It turns into a mess so quickly with them both being home. The kids have had a great day and came back to me happy and dirty. Although they both had a danger nap so bedtime was a mission. Can't really moan though as I've not seen them most the day.

Tomorrow we are going to have a BBQ with DH's parent, my mum and brother. This is DH's first bank holiday weekend off in 10years!

Has anyone got anything exciting planned.

Oooh home grown/home made apple cake sounds lovely @squishymamma we've got lots of blackberries here but the DC eat them as fast as I can pick them so not much chance of getting enough for a nice crumble.

@Chocolatetrifle I'm ok thank you, I am un-slumping myself through going outside as much as possible and taking some vitamin B (good for tiredness and "overwhelmed" feelings)

@Motherofmonsters enjoy your weekend with DH

We are cleaning/doing last minute back to school stuff/and packing this weekend because Tuesday evening after work we are taking the DC on a 4 day road trip/mini holiday

@squishymamma the cake sounds so nice! I am rubbish at baking. Even with packets haha. Hope you all enjoyed. I remember the 5:30 wake ups and they are tough!!! Hope you got a longer lie.

@Chocolatetrifle that stuff looks fab. I will have a look for it. Really want to get my DD kinetic sand. But just haven’t done it yet. She is only just out the phase of eating sand and play dough lol.

@Motherofmonsters it’s good to be productive though. Even if it’s not exciting lol

@Camomila enjoy your trip when it comes!

We were out at a toddler group yesterday morning. And sometime out in the garden. But then my DD watched tv for 4 hours straight. 🙈 seems to be how our morning and afternoons go. And I don’t know how to get out if this rut. I feel so guilty.

I’m out with friends today. So DH will have DD. I’m sure there will be more tv 🙈🙈

Have a nice Saturday everyone

Hello and thanks for the lovely cake comments

@BeHereNowx32 don't beat yourself up about the TV, sometimes it happens - especially at this point in summer, I feel! And occasionally we have the TV on all day because we just can't be bothered...I used to feel guilty but then I figure they do other things too (like your DD has been out the whole morning) so it's not like they're glued to the TV 24/7 (like teenagers...) Hope you have a lovely day with your friends!

@Camomila sounds like a lovely plan! Are you staying somewhere new every night? Id love to do that with DS, we did that pre-children and it was great fun

@Motherofmonsters I find doing those kinds of jobs strangely satisfying, so to me it sounds great! Hope you have a lovely BBQ.

@Chocolatetrifle that looks fab, I might have to see if it's available here. Planning to try out salt dough with DS soon, and coming ever closer to buying kinetic sand but we've managed to keep him occupied with other things so it hasn't been urgent yet.

We had a lovely morning with one of my friends whose son is 2 weeks younger than DS, went to a little playground in the middle of a summer cabin place (hard to describe, they're in the city but are like a little oasis with lots of tiny houses and beautifully pruned gardens) and played, had a picnic, someone who was in one of the cabins came with plums fresh from the tree for us to try...idyllic! DS is napping now and later we're off to buy some bits and bobs including a doll pram and doll for DS...he's obsessed with the ones at nursery so we know it'll be a fast favourite. Plus good to prepare him for the new baby that's on the way!

Hope everyone has a lovely day

@squishymamma We are doing 2 nights with PIL in London, one night at Drayton Manor (taking DC to Thomas Land - DS1 is beyond excited), one night with friends in Liverpool and then depending on how DH is feeling a either a long drive back to Brighton or one more night with PILs in London to break up the journey. I'll keep everyone updated - with a 5 year old and 19m old it could be fab or awful