Share your best scam calls.

[BiscuitsNoMore]

I've had Insurance ones where they say I've had an accident. I tell them thank god they called, the body is on my boot and I don't know what to do with it.

Recently I've been getting them from 'debt collection dept' for a 6 / 7/8k debt. (I have no debt apart from 400 on a card)
I was saying nah you're to me repeatedly and the guy was getting arsey.
He was also using maiden name..

I want some thing to string them along with if they call again.

Along the lines of 'omg not the santander one? Or barclayd or whatever (not mention my own bank holder) when they day yes. I give a diff figure etc... Pretend the get the paperwork keep them waiting.
Need a funny fake address and dob like 31.2.2018?

You're lying to me.
in my boot.

When they say about your accident say oh no who told you I shit myself 😂

Tell them that you stopped but then you drove away. It's been haunting you for years. Your so glad you can finally talk to someone about it.

Time is money so ..... Hang on I've got a delivery, come back , ask can you repeat what you've just said.
Ooh I've just got to get my little one a drink ....... can you repeat that last bit.
Oh I'm sorry , the neighbour is at the door ............ Very long wait ............ Sorry about that can we start again. And repeat .

@Whingey

When they say about your accident say oh no who told you I shit myself 😂

I love this

I had one call me to tell me my laptop was corrupted and they could fix it....I pretended to be really upset and worried. Then I pretended to cry hysterically and beg for help. The woman tutted, asked why I was so dramatic and hung up

I had a phone call telling me that the police were on their way to arrest me unless I immediately paid £750 in unpaid tax using my credit card.
I asked the caller if he knew where I lived. He said he couldn’t tell me because it’s classified.

@Comedycook

I had one call me to tell me my laptop was corrupted and they could fix it....I pretended to be really upset and worried. Then I pretended to cry hysterically and beg for help. The woman tutted, asked why I was so dramatic and hung up

That's so funny

@Mydogisagentleman

I had a phone call telling me that the police were on their way to arrest me unless I immediately paid £750 in unpaid tax using my credit card. I asked the caller if he knew where I lived. He said he couldn’t tell me because it’s classified.

I had this too for £15000. I said that's fine, I'll just get my coat on and wait at the door.

£1500*

I told one once that I was clinically dead. How I didn't laugh I don't know but it was very, very funny.

DH usually just tries to convert them to his new religion he has made up

I had one of the "fraud has been detected in relation to your national insurance number" and I told the man's that my name was henrietta quim, and spelt it out for him, but then couldn't hold my laughter in and he hung up on me 🤣

Oh I remember one I had. Saying they were interested in buying businesses in my area and was I willing to sell mine. I don't have a business. I said oh I've been thinking of selling to invest elsewhere. He was so excited and said what's your business. I said I run a brothel and I'm a lady if the night. He laughed and hung up.

My in laws had the computer one.
Fil went on how he was waiting for it to turn on. Kept him going for ages. Like over 10 min and the guy said what's thay problem With your computer sir? Fil said the problem is I don't own one.

Beneficial drive me nuts. They call me every week. Several times a week. They also go by the name if Advantage too. They just want my name and address and ask me a few lifestyle questions. They ask me my name and age. And I tell them I am a 100. They said since you're not taking this call seriously we will end the conversation. I say goodbye and get stuffed.

Another one, not si long ago was some pig claiming he was from Barclays fraud detection centre. He said that someone used my card to make a huge purchase in John Lewis and again at a teeth whitening company. They said they just need the last 3 digits on the back of my card to cancel the card to stop the thousands of pounds spent on John Lewis coming out from my account. They must have thought I was the most gullible person alive. . I had my phone on speaker and as soon as he heard my husbands voice, he hung up. The worst part is the number is Barclays. I don't know how they hack into it.

I get a lot of spam calls at my work. My favourites are the ones wanting to talk about our fleet (we have one scuffy old van). Love asking them how we're going to save fuel!
But my fave is the angry english guy from some water company who calls every few months demanding to speak to a manager about our 'debt' and threatening to cut us off. He's brill, we take it in turns to put on fake accents. If I hang up he rings again shouting. Block his number, he calls from a different one.
Here's the thing....we have a gentleman agreement with landowner that we don't pay water so I know he's full of crap.
Not telling him though!

Usd to get the loft and cavity wall insulation ones
I would ask lots of questions - at different times I asked
How would the insulation stay in my walls and not migrate to the rest of the terrace.

Where it actually went and how would I get in my rooms if they filled the cavity (we have solid walls) or the variation of
Wouldnt my upstairs neighbours find my loft insulation inconvenient.

A friend of mine had the accident scam call.

Caller: 'I'm calling about the accident you were recently involved in'
Friend: 'Oh yes, I remember. Was that the one where I died?'
Caller: .......

We've had the 'microsoft' ones on our business line. 'You've got a virus on your computer'.

As we run a software company, we know that we don't. Answers have included 'Which department are you calling from as we know several people at microsoft', 'We run exclusively on Apple devices' (we don't, but it causes them to hang up).

DH strung one along for a while, asking increasingly technical questions, while the caller got more and more flustered. They eventually hung up with a few choice insults

My fav last week, I asked who it was and what they wanted, she replied strange way to answer call.
I replied no as I don’t know who you are and what you want, she hung up

Someone I know has been known to give out his password for whatever it was as F... U.... C....... K.... O.... F..... F....

I have been known to, when receiving a "Have you been in an accident that wasn't your fault?" call, say "Blimey, that was quick, I've only just stepped out of the ambulance!"

Or, if they've been calling for a while and I'm running out of lines, a quick snarl of "If you do not stop trying to scam me, I'm reporting you to the police." tends to work.

My favourite are the mobile provider calls were they offer free calls and texts, which I always reply, putting on an old hard of hearing person voice, “text (sex) at my age, I’ve not had text since the wife died

I got the we can fix your computer call.
I replied
'This is a scam call isn't it? I've not had a scam call before. This is so exciting. What do I have to do?'
They hung up.

My Mum enjoys playing 'daffy old lady' with the windows computer virus ones - "Yes dear, our windows are fine, that lovely young man cleaned them just last week [lots of detail about fictional window-cleaner]. A virus? Oh no, I don't think so, we only had them replaced last year, lovely new UPVC, they did them all for only £££ [lots of detail about fictional window fitters]. Switch it on? Password? What sort of windows need switching on, we just look through them, you are talking a lot of rubbish!"

She's defeated a fair few of them, they hang up in exasperation!

Like a PP, I tell the car accident ones that yes, I did have an accident, and now I'm dead.

Get a voice changer and pretend to be a child, tell them that you've just done a big poo on your potty.

what's the problem With your computer sir?
"I thought you were supposed to tell me that".