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Original poster

Share your best scam calls.

46 replies

BiscuitsNoMore · 08/07/2021 10:29

I've had Insurance ones where they say I've had an accident. I tell them thank god they called, the body is on my boot and I don't know what to do with it.

Recently I've been getting them from 'debt collection dept' for a 6 / 7/8k debt. (I have no debt apart from 400 on a card)
I was saying nah you're to me repeatedly and the guy was getting arsey.
He was also using maiden name..

I want some thing to string them along with if they call again.

Along the lines of 'omg not the santander one? Or barclayd or whatever (not mention my own bank holder) when they day yes. I give a diff figure etc... Pretend the get the paperwork keep them waiting.
Need a funny fake address and dob like 31.2.2018?

OP posts:

Pendingname · 08/07/2021 22:23

I had the accident scam call and replied "oh it wasn't an accident I meant to run him over".

Colleague I was having lunch with at the time looked most concerned

beela · 08/07/2021 22:32

I had one supposedly from a utility company, asking me to verify whether I was one of their customers by telling them my debit card number. I got into a long argument about how if they were the ones calling me then they really should already know whether I was a customer or not, and perhaps they should check on their customer database.

LadyCatStark · 08/07/2021 22:42

@Melitza

I got the we can fix your computer call. I replied 'This is a scam call isn't it? I've not had a scam call before. This is so exciting. What do I have to do?' They hung up.

I like this one, I’m totally going to use it!

The trouble though is that they’ll have heard the supposedly funny ones a thousand times before!

I just tell the truth when they ask if I’ve had an accident that wasn’t my fault and tell them, no I’ve had an accident that was totally my fault 🙈.

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General shopping

Emmelina · 08/07/2021 22:54

My national insurance number has been suspended was my most recent and very ridiculous one!

AdoptedBumpkin · 08/07/2021 22:58

@Foofbrush A relative of mine left them hanging on phone for ages while he "looked at his computer" and then told them he didn't have a computer

DustyMaiden · 08/07/2021 23:03

Someone phoned and said they wanted to discuss the accident I’d had. I said do you mean when I shat muse in Sainsburys.

Mykittensmittens · 08/07/2021 23:04

I had one on my work mobile a couple of weeks ago.

Telling me they were calling from my broadband provider and I was in trouble as I’d been hacked.

Irony is I AM the broadband provider,
I’ve worked for them for decades, and I’d said the company name as I picked up the phone. He hadn’t twigged!

He then told me I was lying. Then tried to tell me he too was working for the same company and was calling from my fraud department. I asked for his surname so I could look him up on the internal phone directory. He was incandescent - kept arguing with me - and called me a bitch.

I was absolutely pissing myself.

Fizzbangwallop · 08/07/2021 23:12

For the accident ones I tell them it left me being unable to stop singing then launch into ‘there were 10 green bottles hanging on the wall’ or ‘the wheels on the bus’. I’ve also been known to sing a rude song I learned at brownie camp 40 years ago. Brown owl would be so proud that I can still remember all the words!

Mumtotoomanykids · 08/07/2021 23:12

I had one a few months ago
Phone rang and some bloke told me that I had to pay £1,500 within 15 minutes or the police would bang on my door to arrest me
I laughed and said ‘pull the other one mate-it’s got balls on it’ and hung up
Anyway,bang on 15 minutes later there was a loud banging on the door-it sounded like they where putting my front door through

It was the bloody postman with my latest eBay buy…

Deadringer · 09/07/2021 01:15

I had a call from the bank. The caller told me there was a serious problem with my account. Which bank are you calling from i ask. Which bank are you with madam, he replies. You should know i say, don't you work there? He continued to ask which bank i had an account with until i hung up.

Wincarnis · 09/07/2021 06:02

I often get the Microsoft Technical support centre call…. I usually manage to get them to hang up. Eg..

“Yes Madam, i am calling about your Windows computer….”
“I don’t have one”
“You are lying Madam” (cheeky git!)
“No, you’re the liar”

“I am calling about your computer… it is sending messages to our Technical Department”
“What sort of messages? “You are a scammer “?

Dustyblue · 09/07/2021 06:26

@Wincarnis, my brother had a great one from 'Microsoft' too!

Should mention my brother is a programmer who runs a team in Mumbai and doesn't use Microsoft at all.

Caller: I'm from Microsoft, you need to check for a new virus, can you log in for me?
Brother: Sure, have done that, what now?
Caller: I can't see it on my screen, can you just tell me your login details?
Brother: Sure (makes something up)
Caller: Sir, that it is not working. May I have your drivers license details?
Brother: Mate, you need to get a new job. Scamming people isn't the way to go in life.
Caller: (sighs) Yes I know.
Brother: You do?
Caller: Yes my BIL in Mumbai sold me this list of contacts saying it was good money, and I was out of work from my IT job and the family pushed me into it.

My brother went on to counsel him on IT jobs in Mumbai & various courses he could do to get back in the field.

One scammer removed from the world!

Sloaneslone · 09/07/2021 06:34

We rented my brothers house while he was out of the country.

When we had moved out he had a call asking for 'Betty' he asked what it was about and they told him how they were calling as Betty had been a driver in a car accident and was owed hundreds of thousands.

My brother continued to talk to them for bit about how much money she away owed and how this was the fault of the other driver. Then advised them that Betty was infact his 3 year old niece (my dd) and if couldn't work out 'how she saw over the steering wheel in the first place'. They hung up.

I had a scam call from British gas about how I had a gas leak and they needed my card details so they could repair it. I was a senior manager at British gas at the time. So I kept them talking for a bit, asked them where they were based, pretended I was trying to find my card etc then gave them actual procedure for a gas leak, in detail. Again, they just hung up and then told them I worked for British gas. They hung and didn't call back 🤷‍♀️

trappedsincesundaymorn · 09/07/2021 06:47

My Dad had the one telling him there was a problem with his computer, to which he replied...."I know. It's ok though because my son-in-law (my DP), is taking a look now for me, so no need to bother yourself sorting it out for me but thanks for the chat".

beela · 09/07/2021 06:48

@Wincarnis

I often get the Microsoft Technical support centre call…. I usually manage to get them to hang up. Eg..

“Yes Madam, i am calling about your Windows computer….”
“I don’t have one”
“You are lying Madam” (cheeky git!)
“No, you’re the liar”

“I am calling about your computer… it is sending messages to our Technical Department”
“What sort of messages? “You are a scammer “?

I once told a 'microsoft' scanner that I didn't have a computer, he told me that I was lying and that God would strike me down.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 09/07/2021 07:05

Forgot to add...The best reply I heard came from a colleague after receiving yet another call saying he would be arrested within 15 minutes for tax fraud if he did not hand over his details. It was on the office mobile so not allocated to anybody in particular.

Colleague "so who is it you want to speak to as this phone is used by everybody"
Scammer " You, sir"
C, "But you haven't asked for me by name so how can you be sure you have the right person, I just happened to be the one that's picked up this call? Who is it you need to speak to?"
S, " You have to give me your details as you will be arrested in 15 minutes and I'm not joking"
C, " Hang on a minute" , yells "SARGE, do you want to speak to this gentleman a minute?" He then puts on a different voice, "Good afternoon Sergeant Blaketon, Ashfordely Police how can I help?"
Scammer " Wrong number sorry" Click

OhGiveUp · 09/07/2021 07:06

My son once had a scam accident call on his mobile, at the same time his wife received one on hers.
They placed the phones side by side on loudspeaker and the ensuing conversation between the two scammers was hilarious.
I've still got the video of it somewhere. ( They filmed the phones and convo on my grandchild's phone )

Lilibet2022 · 09/07/2021 07:07

I started saying 'Lilibet Police this is the fraud department how may I help you?'

Most shit themselves and put the phone down but props to last weeks scammed who went "yeh go on what were you saying?" went right over his head.

Kiitos · 09/07/2021 07:09

We used to get a daily scam call at work, always at the same time. I used to answer and had a range of ways I would mess with them. The most effective was that when they said there had been an accident, I got really panicky and started crying and asking ‘oh my god, where? What happened? Who?? Are they OK?’ etc
We didn’t get any more calls after that

Fizzbangwallop · 09/07/2021 14:58

When I had a call telling me I was going to be arrested I said ‘ooh how exciting I’ve never been inside a police car’ He rang off when I asked if my husband could try on his handcuffs and are the car seats waterproof.

NannyPlumsSnarkyWand · 09/07/2021 17:50

"Madam you are breaking the internet! We need your card details to help you. Madam? Madam you are breaking the inter...."

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