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Original poster

Strange comment from GP

71 replies

Literarydevice · 08/07/2021 07:44

I had a phone appointment yesterday. I didn’t recognise the name of the doctor so assumed he’s new or a locum. It’s a big medical centre. The call was about different painkillers and a muscle relaxant for an unstable joint that had partially dislocated and caused muscle spasms after it had gone back into place.

He asked if he could confirm my name and asked for my d.o.b. He sort of laughed a bit when I’d finished and said what a nice voice I had. He said it was very calm and relaxing and he said he felt like he might be the patient. I said oh ok thanks then he asked how he could help. It seemed a very strange thing to say. Not sure why I’m posting as it’s not something I’d complain about but it’s not something I’ve come across before either and it felt odd and derailed the appointment a bit. Is it me or was it a bit weird /unprofessional?

OP posts:
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 08/07/2021 08:15

I'm only slightly younger than you. I'm afraid we're at the age where well-intentioned younger men think it's safe to give us compliments without it coming across as creepy. It's arguably slightly patronising but at least they're not yelling 'Karen' at us.

I can't see that the GP did anything other than try to humanise the call a bit and treat you as an individual, not just another call on his list. Is that a bad thing?

PearlNextDoor · 08/07/2021 08:16

sometimes though I do just say ''Thank you!''.

It really depends. You can feel if a compliment feels like a manipulation.

Original poster
Literarydevice · 08/07/2021 08:16

Horsemad. Yes, I hope he doesn’t get ground down too quickly. I also had a call with another young gp a few months ago and bless him he made me feel that there was nothing he would rather be doing at that moment than telling me how to get a referral for a hearing aid. I just hoped he could hold on to that amount of interest and care for many years before he felt jaded and unappreciated.

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DerisorySnort · 08/07/2021 08:18

It was just small talk. He was trying to put you at ease, maybe. Perhaps he was young/new and a bit nervous, too.
I wouldn't have thought too much about it, really.

PearlNextDoor · 08/07/2021 08:19

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow there is so much truth in this! Often, younger men can be more pleasant to me in a neutral situation (work/service related) because there's no possibility I might think they were interested in me Hmm whereas men my own age can sometimes set out to demonstrate that women their own age are invisible.

purpleme12 · 08/07/2021 08:20

This doesn't sound like a bad thing!
I once had an out of hours doctor call me and the first thing he said was oh you sound like a child! (This was after we'd been through security info so he knew it was me etc)
I actually said that a weird thing to say people can't help their voice

Original poster
Literarydevice · 08/07/2021 08:23

MissLucy. I think you’re right. It didn’t feel a bad thing just unusual as I’ve never had a doctor pay me a complement. I expect it must be quite hard to negotiate phone appointments especially if you’ve not had much experience of doing them.

OP posts:
Icequeen01 · 08/07/2021 08:23

I had to visit my GP once on my birthday. He noticed this and told me I didn't look my age! I took it as it was meant - just a kind ( but deluded) comment!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 08/07/2021 08:24

He may have just finished a call with a very agitated, loud and volatile patient? He may have realised immediately that you were going to be calm and straightforward, and spoken his relief without thinking.

It's a bit odd but as a one-off I wouldn't overthink it.

WhatHaveIFound · 08/07/2021 08:29

He was probably trying to put you at ease. I've had medical professionals comment that I have a lovely name and I didn't take it as anything other than a compliment. Not creepy at all, just helped me relax.

HereticFanjo · 08/07/2021 08:40

If you have a calm, pleasant voice and / or accent it can have a strong effect on people, especially over the phone when the effect is amplified. I had a telephone fundraising job many years ago and sent several people into raptures 😂 I agree with others - he probably had a few stressed or harsh-voiced callers before you so your voice was extra soothing in comparison. Take the compliment 😂

Hooplabum · 08/07/2021 08:42

As health professionals we try to put people at their ease, and it’s not unknown for your mouth to say something that leaves your brain saying “what the hell did you say that for?!” As you blush inwardly and try to move the conversation on………

QueenOfPain · 08/07/2021 08:44

I do telephone triage as part of my job, like a PP said, speaking to someone who can communicate clearly, at an audible volume and without any excessive drama is genuinely a pleasure and makes it far easier to do the job!

I think he was just being nice.

TableFlowerss · 08/07/2021 08:44

@MerryDecembermas

I'd be feeling harassed by that. Totally unneccessary comment
HmmConfused
Babdoc · 08/07/2021 08:46

I’m a retired hospital doctor, and often paid compliments to patients to put them at ease. Also, being English and working in Scotland, I always commented if patients had
English accents, and used it to establish rapport!
OP, as the GP knew your date of birth, it is beyond unlikely that he was being creepy. Give the poor chap the benefit of the (remote) doubt - it’s safe to assume he was merely being appreciative of having a calm sensible patient for a change from the usual stressed or demanding ones.

frumpety · 08/07/2021 08:47

He had probably had to deal with a fair number of emotional and agitated people and your calm and pleasant demeanour was just a lovely soothing balm Smile

EveryoneIsThere · 08/07/2021 08:56

I think I'd take it exactly how it was meant and that's as a compliment that you have a lovely calm voice. I don't even think it was a weird thing to say.

EveryoneIsThere · 08/07/2021 08:58

@Icequeen01

I had to visit my GP once on my birthday. He noticed this and told me I didn't look my age! I took it as it was meant - just a kind ( but deluded) comment!
That's a great compliment! I would have asked for it in writing Smile
hashbrownsandwich · 08/07/2021 09:01

GP shows human trait. Shock! Horror!

Ulyssesfoot · 08/07/2021 09:07

I'm not a GP but I'm sad that they can do no right especially on MN. There's a whole thread on here about how people are happy for surgeons to be arrogant and rude and a GP pays someone a compliment and they get Questioned.
He is just being a nice human and in fairness was probably having a not so great morning on the phone and was happy not to be shouted at.

Muchasgracias · 08/07/2021 09:07

You have too much time to overthink on your hands.

Howcanthisbe123 · 08/07/2021 09:11

Maybe he was new and a bit nervous?

LaMarschallin · 08/07/2021 09:17

I'd be feeling harassed by that. Totally unneccessary comment

Quite.
He's probably running a telephone sex line on the side and has noted you down as someone to try and sign up.

mam0918 · 08/07/2021 09:22

I once had a clearly racist nurse so overwhelmingly confused by my 'exotic' name that she insisted I wasnt British and couldnt use the NHS (Im British born and breed as far back as our family history could go - Anglo-saxon/celtic origin).

She would interogate me asking things 'If you where born here then where did your parent come from?' the answer of '3 villages over from here' didnt go down well lol.

She had made this conclusion based on nothing other than first impression of my name (she seemed to decide for me and declare that I was Polish and lying about it) she would constantly make comment which then got into a huge argument with her insisting I have 'a clearly foreign accent'.

Ironically I have the EXACT same accent as her (a very strong local accent) as we where from the same town but she just could not accept it because her mind was made up.

She didnt work there long (wonder why? lol) but in comparison I would take being told I have a 'lovely calming voice' as a compliment.

Nothingyet · 08/07/2021 09:26

@saraclara

He was aiming to build a connection between you as it was a phone consultation. That's all.
Agree. It was supposed to be an ice-breaker.