Is there a thread about the football tonight and expected domestic violence spiking?

[TwoYearsSince]

I was shocked to read today about the expected spikes in domestic violence tonight because of England playing. Apparently a higher spike is expected if they lose but a spike is expected in any event.

I guess all I can do is write about it here, talk about it and invite anyone who wants to talk about it to to join in.

It stinks to high heaven.

Oh I hope not :(

I was just feeling happy about a little cheering, and Indian (haven't had one in a year). Police are going to be busy. This is the ugly downside of football.

I haven't read the article that you are talking about but am unsurprised. A friend of mine worked with domestic abuse victims. We are based in Ireland. She said when their were big matches such as all Ireland finals or world come games the number of cases they saw sky rocketed.

Yeah, I gather highest levels if they lose, but still increased levels if they win. Depressing.

It happens at every major tournament, I'm surprised this is news to you. Plus increased assaults on emergency service staff too.

The only very small consolation is that there is less violence after later weekday matches, less chance for the abusers to drink so much.

It's terrible, but has been this way forever.

We get warned at work about the rise in DV every major tournament. It's so depressing but it's being recognised and talked about more, with campaigns shared over social media. So hopefully more people will get the help they need.

Yes it's true sadly

I love watching the football but I wish they'd campaign for anti domestic violence half as fiercely as they do for anti-racism. But not enough shits are ever given about women

There's not enough help. Wish more help instead of money spent on adverts and campaign or if no help for everyone should be honesty. When you leave and there's no help after and you're left in bad way with no support so you go back.

Literally pushes you over the edge trying to get help. Spend days looking on google and trying to call places and noone helps or gets back to you. Local authority literally ignores application for housing literally doesn't reply and the few times they speak to you they lie. Tell organisations you're suffering domestic violence, they literally don't care. Social services, citizens advice, Mind, other places. They literally don't care or tell you to just leave even if husband partner stops you having any money.

Benefits all being cut and awful process to go through to even get them. You left in very bad way if you leave and if you on old legacy benefits you forced to go on universal credit if leave.

Literally violating telling people again and again about what happened and not being helped. Worse than violence. Feels like you're dirty or disgusting when places meant to help don't especially when they lie. One person was kind but only help they could offer was a place to stay in a building with mixed homeless including drugs and ex offenders maybe even other people's abusers. Police always at that place lots of drug dealing and violent fights.

Was referred to social services by a professional. A horrible man told me to just leave or call the police. He was rude and horrible in the way he talked. Didn't care at all about domestic violence. Maybe he's an abuser with his wife or girlfriend. Wouldn't be surprised. Local citizens advice another horrible man. It feels like being hit almost physical when keep seeing adverts saying help is there. Wish people realised what reality sometimes like.

Yes, and disturbance in general will be greater if it's dry/warm/sunny.

Orf1abc,

I think the point is that it needs to be talked about all the time. I'm now expert. I just didn't feel I could sit and watch without there being some sort of acknowledgment.

I wonder if MNHQ would stick some domestic violence helpline details as a pinned thread tonight in recognition of what (from the sounds of things) hundreds if not thousands of women will be going through tonight.

It just seems like a good thing for MN to speak about/talk about IYSWIM

Of course it's not news - but it really should be across all the headlines.

Because it's a fucking national disgrace.

And every decent man who just wants to enjoy the footie and a national spectacle should be playing their part in driving the dark side out of football.

I’m not surprised, my dad used to hit me in the run up to big matches as he was so tense. Just a punch on the arm, clip round the ear. This is a man who denounced violence and didn’t raise a hand to defend himself when a woman full on beat him up once. But it was justifiable in the run up to the game.

@trollopolis

Of course it's not news - but it really should be across all the headlines.

Because it's a fucking national disgrace.

And every decent man who just wants to enjoy the footie and a national spectacle should be playing their part in driving the dark side out of football.

It's not just England.

I'm in Italy and our towns were absolutely trashed last night. Stuff was burned, street signs uprooted and used as rams to damage cars, children's play areas ruined. If they're out there setting fire to park benches and throwing stop signs through shop windows, they aren't going to be averse to domestic violence. Italy and Spain (to name two) already have DV and femmicide figures that are skyrocketing.

@nosafeguardingadults story of seeking help from DV is horribly accurate in my experience

There was a thread yesterday.

It doesn't surprise me, cases increase around alcohol fuelled celebrations.
The womens refuge is always fully booked at Christmas.
to those who suffered.

Because it's a fucking national disgrace

It's an international disgrace. Don't kid yourself that it only happens in England.

So sorry to read about your experiences @nosafeguardingadults

This is just one reason why I'm not a sports fan but I particularly don't care for football one bit. I accept the sport itself isn't at fault but it really does bring out the worst in some people.

Hi there, OP.
Thanks for flagging this up - you're right, it really should be talked about.
We don't have any plans to pin this thread tonight, but will take your suggestion on board and have a chat about this for the future.
In the meantime, if anyone comes to this thread looking for support because they are experiencing domestic violence, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page www.mumsnet.com/webguide/domestic-violence which has lots of helpful links.
Best wishes from MNHQ

I work in this area, it's true. DV cases increase when England lose.

I have read this before. Some men are just awful.

Trigger
It's 12 years since an old school friend died we'd lost touch, the outline of her body was imprinted in the plaster from being slammed against the wall, he tried to say she fell leaving her there hours.
He'd slapped her previously.
Anyone in the situation please try get out even make a start on mumsnet.

thanks @mnhq.
hope it was obvious I meant to say "not an expert" instead of "now an expert".

There were lovely ads on the tv last night about girls getting into football but that's just one side of the story (the nice side).

nosafeguardingadults just wanted to say I'd read what you wrote. I can imagine the horrible discrepancy between the references to "support" and the reality :(

I read about this and it was my first thought after the match ended.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Yes it's true sadly

I love watching the football but I wish they'd campaign for anti domestic violence half as fiercely as they do for anti-racism. But not enough shits are ever given about women

Unnecessary to pit racism against DV.

And women can also be affected by racism y'know.

Yes, numbers rise up when there’s a Rangers v Celtic game. All this in the name of football…