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Original poster

WWYD if your cleaner stole your jewellery

86 replies

roastedsaltedpeanut · 07/07/2021 08:37

Just had the displeasure to find out a one-off cleaner recommended by a friend has absolutely cleared my antique jewelleries which I paid £6k for both worth significantly more on the open market. Diamond studded rings, diamond ear rings, solid silver bracelet and necklace…they are all gone, including my wedding band. What kind of a monster takes wedding bands?!

The trouble with me is that while I appreciate the beauty and craftsmanship of antique jewellery, I am not comfortable wearing them. I only use them for special occasions to fit in with others, which is why it took me so long to realise they are gone. I feel rather silly and useless.

I don’t have cctv footage. I can only deduce that she had taken them because no one else is allowed upstairs in the bedroom.
I am gutted. I left her on her own out of respect, which had given her the opportunity to steal.

I know stressing over isn’t good for my mental health as I have just finished my sessions with the therapist. But I cannot shake off that retched gutted feeling of betrayal. As she only had the opportunity because I respected her and gave her space and went out of her way instead of hovering her, which I used to find distasteful but now 😭

OP posts:
PhilSwagielka · 07/07/2021 13:49

She wouldn't, she's lovely and I trust her. I don't have any jewellery worth stealing anyway, not since some arsehole burglar nicked a gold necklace I had.

DogsSausages · 07/07/2021 14:07

Obviously you have to report the situation to the police. Hope you get your jewellery back.

SweetBabyJebus · 07/07/2021 14:09

I either have to engage in some diligent watchdog type of guarding behaviour or just not have anything of valuable and relax.

Or... Maybe invest in a lockable box??

It's hardly like 'act as a watchdog' or 'no valuables' are the ONLY options Hmm

You are being deliberately obtuse and dramatic

That said, it is not nice to be robbed. Happened to me too. I hope you can recover some or all of the items OP.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Clothing
PhilSwagielka · 07/07/2021 14:35

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

To report it to insurance would obviously need a crime number. I shall speak to the police asap, and fully expect a lecture which I deserve tbh

You will most definitely not be told you deserve it. Whatever makes you think that? Most odd way of thinking.

The police didn't lecture me when I was burgled. They just took a statement and fingerprints and asked me a few things.
TastyMeatPuppet · 07/07/2021 14:55

Maybe your husband sold them for drug debt?

user1471462428 · 07/07/2021 14:59

Just get the safe. I’ve lost sympathy for you after implication that all cleaners are thieves.

TheRebelle · 07/07/2021 15:03

It’s horrible when you’ve trusted someone in your home and then something like this happens, you just feel like asking why can’t I have nice things? I agree with getting a safe, we’ve got one hidden in a cupboard, it’s not like the kind you see in films it’s just a small metal box with a key pad on the front and if you put it at the back of a cupboard with something stored in front of it then no one needs to know it’s there.

Fiddliestofsticks · 07/07/2021 15:04

Are you ok? Because some of what you're saying is just really odd. What horror stories have you had about safes?

You get a safe. You install is somewhere out of the way that people dont see when they visit. You use the safe. End of. You dont go around telling everyone you meet that you have a safe. You sint take your guests over to have a look at it. Just get a safe.

I've had a safe in every house I've ever lived in and it is used for important documents as well valuable. Its fireproof. So it isnt just for thefts, it's to protect documents in the case of a fire. Stop being so silly and just get a safe if you have anytbing of value.

Dogmum40 · 07/07/2021 15:08

Do you know how to contact that particular cleaner as you could get in touch and tell her that your contacting the police as your jewelry has gone missing and they will be dusting for prints so hers may come up and they may interview her so if it was her can you have it all back and you’ll drop the case (I’m a big fan of confrontation though when someone has done something that impacts me)

TDogsInHats · 07/07/2021 15:18

@30degreesandmeltinghere

I am quite disgusted you claim cleaners are steroetypically thieves! Angry
OP might be a goady lowlife, the way she's talking about cleaners is despicable.
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 07/07/2021 15:22

The police didn't lecture me when I was burgled. They just took a statement and fingerprints and asked me a few things.

I didn't think they would, what I think is odd is OP thinking they will.

WeAreTheHeroes · 07/07/2021 15:24

This is all very woe is me and far more dramatic than it needs to be. Yes, it's upsetting that someone has abused your trust. Ime the vast majority of cleaners are scrupulously careful not to intrude where they shouldn't and also mindful of the trust people place in them.

Your reactions and posts make me think you suspect it could be a family member rather than the cleaner and that's why you've not gone to the police before now once you discovered the theft.

GreyhoundG1rl · 07/07/2021 15:29

Your posts read very strangely Hmm
Report it to the police. Let them decide what they can do about it...
Or are you just trying to assess how easy making a false insurance claim would be??
All very odd.

2bazookas · 07/07/2021 15:31

I can only deduce that she had taken them because no one else is allowed upstairs in the bedroom.

So, you have no family children or partner living in the house; no friends or relatives who visit, you've never employed trades to fit /supply/ work in your home, and no door has ever been left unlocked while you're in the garden, or bath.

Really?

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 07/07/2021 15:37

So, you have no family children or partner living in the house; no friends or relatives who visit, you've never employed trades to fit /supply/ work in your home, and no door has ever been left unlocked while you're in the garden, or bath.

TBF, 2bazookas OP does address this.

Realistically, there is nothing the police can do for me. It has been two weeks she was last here and three weeks since I even looked at these jewellery. I also do not have any concrete evidence other than knowing she is the only person other than DH and I to have access to that room. I can confidently rule out anyone else because both our families are overseas atm and we have not entertained since the start of COVID last year. We only had one bbq with a close friend couple and their kids and I was wearing the missing jewellery!

KungFuPrincess · 07/07/2021 15:40

Honestly OP it sounds like you dont want to take any steps to get your jewelry back (Police) nor do you seem very interested in anyone's advice. What is it you are asking for?

HyacynthBucket · 07/07/2021 15:40

This happened to me too OP and it is horrible. In my case it was jewelry belonging to my elderly DM who had carers coming into her house up to when she went to hospital a month before she died. She left her jewelry to me, but it was all gone. I was heartbroken because she had a beautiful sapphire and diamond ring that had been her mother's too. I had always known as the only daughter that it would one day be mine, my DM left it to me, and I loved it, but it was stolen along with her wedding ring and my grandmother's wedding ring.

A lot of quite random carers were coming each day towards the end of her life. I was never sure whether it was one of them or a family member. I did not go to the police because it was too late, and did not want to upset family by appearing to suspect them. I did ask the solicitor dealing with my mother's will, as these things were part of her estate, but the solicitor was not interested and could not be bothered to chase it up with other family members who were executors.
If your theft was recent OP, do act, as the jewelry is likely to have ended up in a shop or pawn place, and might be recoverable. At least get a crime number and pursue it with insurance.

NowEvenBetter · 07/07/2021 15:42

What a weird thread. No need to self flagellate, OP. Just go to the police, it hasn’t been ‘so long’, it’s been two weeks.

walkoflifewoohoo · 07/07/2021 15:42

Well, you could pay someone to beat you up or something but the best option would simply be to ring the police

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 07/07/2021 15:43

Also tbf - OP doesn’t seem to be much in the way of being a goady lowlife…

Maybe just deeply disappointed/upset/frustrated at the situation and maybe angry at herself for not taking more care?

Taking someone in on the recommendation of a friend has possibly laid her open to one of the very few bad ‘uns.

It was not a good thing to say. Not excusing that. But it might be hard not to lash out.

I did.

NowEvenBetter · 07/07/2021 15:43

‘Never have another cleaner ever (too drastic?)’ 🤣
I simply clean my own house. Is that drastic?! 😂

Pinotwoman82 · 07/07/2021 15:49

I did have a lot of sympathy for you but after your comment in relation to cleaners being thieves, not so much now. Just because someone is a cleaner doesn’t mean they are on the breadline and desperate for money, there could be any number of reasons they clean, childcare, older family member issues etc. I am not a cleaner but probably do something you may think is an equally thieveable job, however I am only doing this to fit in whilst the children are younger. It’s amazing how people’s reactions to me change once they have found out where I live, the car I drive etc.

PattyPan · 07/07/2021 15:55

Weird thread. Obviously report to police and insurance company. Presumably any pieces that were particularly valuable (usually £1k or over) were individually listed on your insurance. Your premium might go up slightly in the future but not by the extent it would cost to buy replacement jewellery.

TheRebelle · 07/07/2021 16:03

I’m just thinking, if it was £6k worth of jewellery I’m sure any jewellers would remember someone bringing that much in to sell, if she was selling it in smaller transactions she may still have some in her house. I just sold some jewellery for scrap last week, about £100 worth and I had to show ID and leave my name and address.

iamalighthouse · 07/07/2021 16:05

You said she was one off cleaner but then you say you are being forced to choose between having a well looked after house or nice things. Why was she a one off..it sounds like you don't do your own cleaning. I don't believe your story

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