WWYD if your cleaner stole your jewellery

[roastedsaltedpeanut]

Just had the displeasure to find out a one-off cleaner recommended by a friend has absolutely cleared my antique jewelleries which I paid £6k for both worth significantly more on the open market. Diamond studded rings, diamond ear rings, solid silver bracelet and necklace…they are all gone, including my wedding band. What kind of a monster takes wedding bands?!

The trouble with me is that while I appreciate the beauty and craftsmanship of antique jewellery, I am not comfortable wearing them. I only use them for special occasions to fit in with others, which is why it took me so long to realise they are gone. I feel rather silly and useless.

I don’t have cctv footage. I can only deduce that she had taken them because no one else is allowed upstairs in the bedroom.
I am gutted. I left her on her own out of respect, which had given her the opportunity to steal.

I know stressing over isn’t good for my mental health as I have just finished my sessions with the therapist. But I cannot shake off that retched gutted feeling of betrayal. As she only had the opportunity because I respected her and gave her space and went out of her way instead of hovering her, which I used to find distasteful but now 😭

Why on earth wouldn't you keep your jewellery locked away, FGS?! 🙄

You need to report to the police. You need to get a safe installed in a fitted wardrobe or similar.

It sounds like this has upset you passed the practicalities of it all though. OP this is unlikely a personal attack on you or an attempt to take advantage of your trust. It's a money issue. People may steal out of desperation when they see the opportunity. Try not to take it personally, it's a shame to have lost lovely jewellery but that's all it is. I hope it was insured so you can get some money for it and you report to police even if it just acts as a deterrent to the cleaner doing it again if anything.

I've had a few cleaners and never had any jewellery stolen, I keep mine locked up and it's not been an issue. A small safe in a house is unlikely to attract much attention tbh. When I was younger my mum's cleaner stole some of her clothes apparently, she just sacked her. They weren't of much value it was just the trust issue.

These things happen OP. Try not to let it get you down...could happen to anyone 💐

Are you absolutely sure this wasn't someone in your family? Gambling? Drugs?

It seems such a mad thing for a cleaner who works with friends of yours to do considering it would wreck her business. She'd have to be an expert to know what the jewellery was worth so she'd have been taking the risk for an unknown reward.

Just a thought that came to mind

Why would a safe attract robbers - unless of course your telling them you have a safe in that case don’t bother
Cctv is good but would be useless in your case as it was small items stolen inside the house
But if you do get a safe drill In to the floor with really long masonary screws so it can’t be removed easily . Thieves want to be in and out not bashing around with a crow bar
A small safe can easily be picked up and walked off with so it needs to be secured to the floor
Maybe put a lock on your bedroom door as well
Both DH & I have a safe each 😂 I keep some cash passports birth certificate and jewellery that I don’t wear and bank / credit cards that I don’t use
They are cheap around £50 and the piece of mind knowing that stuff is safe can’t be bought

install a safe (which attracts thieves like moths to fire)

What are you talking about? Call the police, contact your insurer, get a safe.

If you have photos from the night you were wearing your jewellery that will help.

Look around the house, speak to everyone who lives there incase they moved it for some reason or have seen it and then go to the policr

Why not play detective yourself op? Ring a few local second hand places. See if anyone has tried to sell it on.

When I've got tradespeople in I just put my jewelry box in the boot of the car wrapped in a black plastic bag. I suppose my car could get stolen but very unlikely.

2/3 weeks isn't a long time. It would be normal not to check jewellery that often. I thought you meant months and months

@Celandines

2/3 weeks isn't a long time. It would be normal not to check jewellery that often. I thought you meant months and months

So did I.

I think you should get the police involved immediately now that you know.

When we had a break in some 'unique' jewellery was taken and the insurance company sent a special assessor. He wanted any photos we had of the jewellery, as much details as I had on when it was purchased, etc etc. He said since it was 18 carrot gold there was no point in trying to track it down even though it was distinctive as it would almost certainly have gone to a 'we buy gold' place. But what you're talking about sounds different. Step one: police. If you are certain there's been no break-in, and no body else was able to be upstairs, of course they will investigate.

Step two:insurance. They'll want to mitigate their loss and can advise you.

Step three: some kind of discrete lock box in your house. I'd maybe consider something like a ring doorbell: it could highlight what bags your cleaner brought, etc etc.

You may not have cctv, but a pawn shop might, or somewhere else. Someone I know found out their cleaner was stealing because they tried to use a high end gift card and somehow it had been registered so they were able to trace the thieves on cctv and it was the cleaners husband. A few weeks is not that long, so go to police and insurance today. And maybe consider contacting the cleaner directly and giving them the opportunity - you could say you have checked where they're kept, they're missing, and you have reviewed your security footage and are giving her one chance before you contact police (not that I advise you avoid the police) I'd only do this if you're 100% certain. Have you spoken to the friend who recommended her?

It’s a bit bonkers you left 6,000 pounds worth of jewelry in an unlocked drawer.

I mean, would you leave 6,000 pounds in cash lying around?

I don’t know whether it’s worth calling the police or just writing it off but a safe kept in a secret, hidden place is a good idea, I think. They are usually fireproof too.

Why wouldn’t you want a safe? All my valuables are locked away just for common sense security reasons.

And report this to the the police. I doubt this is the first time she has done this.

I think you should ring the police. Especially since you know for definite that she was the only person who has access.
If they can't help, then they can't help.....but what if they are interested and you can prevent this happening to someone else?
Also they may have had several reports of this nature related to her and it may be helpful to the police.

Well obviously the police can interview her. They may even check for prints / DNA. They may also be able to contact local jewellers / pawn shops to keep an eye out for these pieces. And if nothing else, you will need a crime number to claim for the jewellery on your insurance (I appreciate that it doesn't resolve the sentimental value, but you may as well try and recover the financial value).

Why on earth wouldn’t you have rung the police immediately after noticing that 6k worth of stuff was missing from your house?? Totally bizarre.

What an extreme reaction. Horrible to find you've been robbed. If you're certain the cleaner is the thief then contact the police. Unfortunately there are bad people in life and you just need to think about protecting your treasured possessions in order to make it difficult for someone to steal them. Too late now, but if I had £6k worth of jewellery I'd make sure it was insured. And I'd tell my friend who recommended the cleaner what she's done.

It appears from both this thread and enquiring with family and friends that thefts like this are notoriously difficult to prove. I shall try the insurance route and hope for the best.
For those who had been equally unfortunate, apparently we are suppose to have an inventory of all the important and valuable items and check immediately after each cleaning session, and cleaners must come from agencies who are responsible for any loss or damage, again proven by before and after pictures with time and date. Inventory should ideally have the exact condition of the items (scratches and dints) and receipts filed alongside.
I'd hate to perpetuate the horrible stereotype that cleaners are thieves but given the recent experience I either have to engage in some diligent watchdog type of guarding behaviour or just not have anything of valuable and relax.

To report it to insurance would obviously need a crime number. I shall speak to the police asap, and fully expect a lecture which I deserve tbh. I doubt very much the police will do anything else given there is so little evidence to go on. I would be very grateful if the police did anything at all.

I took pictures of my jewellery but the receipts are long gone, more carelessness! I must have had them for more than ten years. I just can't shake off this horrible feeling that it's all my fault. Had I not left temptation in her way and given her the time and space to do so, she would have never done it and I would have never have to experience this.

I am unsure about having a safe. I have heard from friends some horror stories about safes so I am quite adamant that I should not have a safe. Now I feel I should not have items of value at home. Take this event as a sign that I ought to distance myself from material things? I wish I never bought them in the first place.

If I were to claim on house insurance, would I need to prove they were stolen, or would my house insurance go up in the subsequent years? Would it make my house deemed more risky or me as a householder more risky to insure? Like car insurance? I have never ever claimed on any insurance in my life.

To report it to insurance would obviously need a crime number. I shall speak to the police asap, and fully expect a lecture which I deserve tbh

You will most definitely not be told you deserve it. Whatever makes you think that? Most odd way of thinking.

A lecture on what? Why would you deserve lecture?

If you have never claimed on your home insurance then it will have very little if any effect on your renewal premiums.

I had to claim on my insurance recently for something and honestly I couldn't get over how straightforward and easy it was. Just give them a call once you have a crime number

This is all quite bizarre really.

I am quite disgusted you claim cleaners are steroetypically thieves!

Please don’t blame yourself for someone’s thieving bastard hands OP.

Aye, it is a lesson learned for some due to your misfortune. Too late now saying ‘oh but we do this or you should have done that’. I thought the same when my things were stolen.

The jewellery is gone. Unless the person has been careless with disposal you aren’t likely to get it back.

If only your jewellery is missing, it is likely the cleaner took an opportunity. If it had been a break in, you’d have probably lost other valuables.

You know how to protect yourself going forward. Now do your best to make sure that you can either reclaim or be recompensed for the items lost.

I hope that you get a favourable outcome.

And very few cleaners are thieves by the way. You know that though.