Stupid mistakes in Real Estate agent property adverts?

[Gerwurtztraminer]

Browsing properties today and have already come across

• Decorated in a neutral palate (i.e. palette)
• 2 well propositioned bedrooms (proportioned)
• a contemporaneous kitchen (contemporary)

And WHY do properties have to "benefit" from or "boast"something instead of of HAVE it e.g. "benefits from 2 bedrooms" or "boasts a new bathroom"

Or pointless extra words "off street garage is positioned at the back of the property". It's just AT the back?

If people are writing adverts how about some spelling and vocabulary lessons first?

Still sniggering at propositioned bedrooms....

Oh I love a car with a steering wheel, it’s such a useful thing to have
You mean you don’t have a self-driving one yet? How very retro

'Horse house'

They only had to jefffing Google it.

@ScrambledSmegs

'Horse house'

They only had to jefffing Google it.

Hilarious !!!!!! (Lovely nail polish, btw )

When I lived in Bedfordshire, I once saw an advert for an apartment block in London that had “views of the Shad and the Gurkin”.

@TeddingtonTrashbag Thanks! I'll tell the woman on Twitter who I nicked that photo from

I assume that a Principle (sic) bedroom is one that hasn't been propositioned

Oh all of this are good. Estate speak is a thing as is lazy proofing.

As for being mean about literacy, that is not what I was getting at. I agree with @Hospitalexpert A "sort after location" or "Draw dropping view", is just a lack of vocabulary and then bad proofreading. Fine on a MN thread, but in a professional job selling property I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a higher standard. And as @Watto1 and her 'shite bathroom' shows, an error can change the meaning of the sentence.

@NothingIsWrong if your house has a contemporaneous bathroom I'd assume it's an outside privy and a tin bath in the kitchen?

@Zarene clearly history was not someone's strong point!

@elephantoverthehill Sea glimpses when you stand on the loo and hang out the window at a 90 degree angle? According to the EA blubs I live in "XX borders" not my actual suburb name. This means I am actually in the much more run down cheaper area 15 minutes walk away from the nice leafy conservation area suburb near the park, where house prices are of course much higher....

@TiddyandFletch All yours are spot on but especially the 'sofa is next to the fridge'. All these horrible new builds and conversions squeezing kitchens into tiny spaces. I saw a flat with an 'ensuite' where you had to go in sideways and if sat on the loo the shower door would be banging your knees. Clearly an old built in cupboard.

@FAQs I am IN the UK but not FROM the UK. What's it supposed to be called here then? I'm sure I've seen the term used?

@ ScrambledSmegs Oh god I just saw "horse house! Brilliant. Thanks!

@BruceAndNosh I have given up on the correct use of Principle vs Principal, along with effect and affect. And lets talk about Moral vs Morale....

Local agents positioned itself a super fancy. Advertised a house where you could dine in splender in the lovely dinning room. Made me laugh my ass off. I couldn't even post without my spell check showing me I had made a mistake.

@TeddingtonTrashbag

Oh I love a car with a steering wheel, it’s such a useful thing to have You mean you don’t have a self-driving one yet? How very retro

I’m all about the retro :).

I would actually like to try one of those cars though!

@FAQs

When did we start saying real estate? Unless you’re not in the UK.

Agree - these are all typically UK estate agent hilarities, which I wouldn't call real estate agents.

Real estate agents here in the US are ridiculous in completely different ways.

'Picture yourself surrounded by your family relaxing on this huge wraparound porch' = if you don't have a family you'll be fecking lonely stranded on this unnecessarily massive deck

'Finish it off to your personal taste and gain huge equity' = not even half built.

'Miles of trails thru endless acres of woodlands' = in the middle of fucking nowhere, 230 miles from your nearest Walmart but with rednecks on snowmobiles everywhere. And btw watch out for bear. Keep guns handy.

'The large kitchen with double ovens, expansive pantry, cookware hanging rack, 3 bay undermount stainless steel sink and solid surface counters is a dream come true to the resident chef' = if you truly are up your own arse when it comes to cooking, this is the kitchen for you, and be prepared to pay for it.

'One will never feel confined inside these walls' = which is good because you'll get 8 months of snow per year so you're going to be looking at these walls a LOT.

'This home with it’s exquisite craftmanship, high ceilings and large rooms give a feeling of spaciousness not commonly seen in other homes' = I'm not sure how grammar works but this one's full of doilies and unnecessary woodwork.

'No detail was overlooked in the labor of love necessary to make this house a home' = I can't even...

Lettings is much worse than sales, I’m guessing because there’s just not as much money to be made in it so they don’t give a shit. Currently combing Rightmove for something slightly habitable and I’ve seen some funny ones:

• “Sorry, No Pets. Sorry, No Smokers. Sorry, No ” (left blank)
• blurry photos of completely unidentifiable corners of rooms. If you put a gun to my head I genuinely couldn’t tell you what they’re trying to show.
• anything about the area being convenient or popular, when I know for a fact that it’s stabby central.
• “comprises of” “sought/sort after” “benefits from”
• “Luxury” - shithole, but built within the last 20 years.
• “fully furnished” like that’s a good thing, when it’s full of 15-year-old tat from Argos that belongs in a skip.
• “situationed in a quite cul de sack” etc
• a (horrible) semi listed for £70,000pcm. They later corrected it to £700.
• not specifying “Professionals Only” if the property is professionals only. “Professionals Only” really fucks me off, though.

An estate agent once pointed out with a flourish of hand that the kitchen had space for a fridge

@ScrambledSmegs Oh I remember the famous horse house

I think this is just pretentious estate-agent-speak that seems to be an established part of their industry. They don’t see how silly it looks. I’ve watched a few property programmes on TV too where they talk in a similar way - not normal everyday speech at all.

No excuse for bad spelling or using the wrong words. You might be a good seller and bad speller, but if you write material that’s going to be published you should check it.

Can someone please tell me why 'Real estate agent' is the wrong term. Is it just using the word 'Real'? I'm not from the USA, but it is normal phrase in my home country. Confused.

@ZZTopGuitarSolo Sounds like adverts in the US are trying to paint a lifestyle and are, shall we say, more expansive and descriptive!. But code for "watch out for bear. Keep guns handy" would certainly put me off!

@bugeyedsquirrel, well they excelled themselves with 'situationed in a quite cul de sack' Quite/Quiet is another common error.

As for unidentifiable photos for rental I saw one with a close up photo of what I think was inside a wardrobe. Just why.

@bugeyedsquirrel

Lettings is much worse than sales, I’m guessing because there’s just not as much money to be made in it so they don’t give a shit. Currently combing Rightmove for something slightly habitable and I’ve seen some funny ones:

• “Sorry, No Pets. Sorry, No Smokers. Sorry, No ” (left blank)
• blurry photos of completely unidentifiable corners of rooms. If you put a gun to my head I genuinely couldn’t tell you what they’re trying to show.
• anything about the area being convenient or popular, when I know for a fact that it’s stabby central.
• “comprises of” “sought/sort after” “benefits from”
• “Luxury” - shithole, but built within the last 20 years.
• “fully furnished” like that’s a good thing, when it’s full of 15-year-old tat from Argos that belongs in a skip.
• “situationed in a quite cul de sack” etc
• a (horrible) semi listed for £70,000pcm. They later corrected it to £700.
• not specifying “Professionals Only” if the property is professionals only. “Professionals Only” really fucks me off, though.

Brilliant

@Gerwurtztraminer just Estate Agents and/or Letting Agents.

Can someone please tell me why 'Real estate agent' is the wrong term.
Because using anything perceived to be an Americanism will bring many people out complaining about all the Americanisms on Mumsnet and in life

@Beachhuts90

Can someone please tell me why 'Real estate agent' is the wrong term. Because using anything perceived to be an Americanism will bring many people out complaining about all the Americanisms on Mumsnet and in life

Oh OK, I hadn't realised it was seen as an 'Americanism'. Better tell most of the english speaking countries in the southern hemisphere we've been getting it wrong then .

It’s actually not an Americanism, it’s also a term used throughout many other countries. Just very rare in the UK.

So now I've been looing to see what the quirks are in my home country advertising. It appears most ads get a cheesy "slogan", preferably alliterative or aspiration
"Funky on Fourth Avenue", "Love living, Love life" or "Destination Sophistication!

I like this one:
"Only for the Brave"
This is an extraordinary opportunity for someone with a visionary eye. Being sold 'As Is', epitomising the true meaning of the word! Although also filled with remarkable architectural features, this is where you will have to use your imagination. This could well include the use of a bulldozer and excavator!

Well at least they are honest...

My best one was when I was looking for a new rental because my very, very lovely landlords were selling the house we were in. I sent out a request to all local agents saying what I was looking for. Most came back with 'sorry, we don't have anything at the moment, but we will let you know if that changes.' However one highly snooty EA replied saying 'I don't believe any of our clients would find you an acceptable tenant'

Oh dear. Because my very, very lovely landlords heard about this, arranged for a valuation with the snooty EA who was falling over themselves to get the commission. And just as EA was leaving, lovely landlords said 'oh, you haven't met our tenant, have you? oh no, that's right, you emailed her saying she was an unacceptable tenant.' As EA squirmed lovely landlords pointed out all the work I'd had done at the house at my own expense, which had increased the value of the house by about 50k. I just stood and smiled sweetly throughout...

One local agent frequently states that your interest will be "peaked" when you view the property.

@Beachhuts90

Can someone please tell me why 'Real estate agent' is the wrong term. Because using anything perceived to be an Americanism will bring many people out complaining about all the Americanisms on Mumsnet and in life

In the U.K., the term 'Property', is used rather than 'Real Estate', when talking about houses and land. In countries which use the latter, the agents are logically known as Real Estate Agents or Realtors. In the U.K. they're just known as Estate Agents. No logic, but that's the way it is

Sometimes they say modernisation required
And I look at it and it looks perfectly ok

It might not be grey or white kitchen but not everyone wants grey