Is my mum right about this?

[Pelican63279]

My 12mo has a bad cold and we have been staying at home the last week or so as a result. I was saying to my mum how hard I'm finding being stuck at home and only going for a walk everyday, but she's really sick and will be very contagious so we can't go to soft play, baby class etc.

My mum said in her opinion 12mo is too young to be attending classes anyway. She says I didn't do any classes till I was 3 started a playgroup. My 12 mo has been doing classes since things opened up a couple of months ago. Mum says it's obvious DD caught her cold while attending these groups, which is obvious to me but seems pretty unavoidable.

Notwithstanding the fact I'll have to go back to work soon, even for SAHP do you think it's reasonable to go to baby groups and classes at 12 mo?

I’d say it’s not just reasonable, it’s vital.

It’s reasonable to go to groups, but it is true that in the past there just weren’t groups like there are now for very small children. The only thing was a playgroup at about the age of three. This is the only activity I did as a small child.

I'm guessing your younger than my 35 year old son who attended a few classes and a twice weekly 'toddler' group from about the same age

There was provision for younger babies as obviously some people had toddlers as well

I helped run the group and this was 35 odd years ago and there were other local groups

But maybe your Mum didn't bother or there weren't any where she lived

Of course its reasonable to go! I went with mine from when she about 3 months old - she didn't get much out of it at that point but I made a really good circle of mum friends. At 12 months old, there is a lot she'll gain from being around other children and it's great for social development. Don't listen to your mother, and you carry on as you are.

I agree with your Mum. I took my eldest DD to groups at 1 and she got sick nearly every time. Plus at that age she really didn't get enough from it to be worth the sickness after. My next two I waited until after two.

Remember Back In The Day babies slept on their front in a pram down the garden. Things have changed.....
Do what you want with YOUR baby, just as she did...

Mine went from much younger than 12 months. It kept me sane op. Keep going to them.

I went from 6 weeks for some! Really missed them second time round due to mat leave in lockdown. They’re a great reason to get out of the house!

Of course if you feel you need it for your own sanity then that is a factor is consider as well.
I do a lot more outdoor activities with my DS because it's the indoor groups and activities that I found to be the real magnet for illness! If it's really bad weather them maybe a playdate with a friend.

How close are you getting? All my baby groups are socially distanced still so I don’t think ds is in any danger from the germs of other babies!

My mum was a pre school teacher herself in my birth country. There, children would attend toddler groups 2x a week from age 3 and only start school at 4. In my current country, my kids went to day care from 6 months and started school at 2.5.
With our first child, my mum was sceptical ("they're too young!") but now she is frantically telling all her friends how this school system is much better as from age 4 they all have +/- the same skills while in her experience some age 4 kids were really like babies and not even potty trained while others could almost read. The day care gave the kids a lot of independence and from about 18 months they started having friends and interacting.
It is indeed quite common that they take home all the viruses that go around, but (unless your child has underlying health problems), their immune system will deal with it. By age 3 my kids were hardly ever sick any more. Other kids who only came into contact with others from age 2.5 were sick all the time then.

I think that classes before the age of about 2 are more for the parents than the baby, but that doesn't mean they aren't a good thing.

Of course you should be going.

But don’t kid yourself it’s all for the baby. You need the structure and the adult conversation as much (and probably more) than your baby needs to sit on the floor vaguely near some other babies.

That’s not a criticism btw, groups were vital for me when mine were that age.

I went to baby sensory and baby massage from six weeks with both of mine - to get me out the house and to give me a chance to speak to people.

Neither of mine got ill from going to classes - they got ill from going to nursery at 18m and 20m respectively.

The great thing is that this is your child, and what I did and what your mum did doesn't matter. You do what you want to do.

Tbh I don't think groups at this age are of any benefit to the baby. Children tend to play alongside each other at this age rather than with each other and the baby can get everything it needs from family interaction and trips out with you. But mums often get a lot from the social interaction and mums who don't feel lonely or cut off are going to be better for their children.
I do think your child will get more colds/germs but arguably this builds their immune system?

I took mine to groups as soon as I could. With DD1 I went to a group with her when she was 6 weeks old. My DDs are in their 20s now.

Kids benefit from peer socialisation at roughly age 2, assuming they are developmentally average.

However ALL kids benefit from social interaction, and having the stimulation of new and interesting environments, meeting people and doing activities with a trusted adult. Baby classes and groups are fab for preparing your little one to mix with new people and try new things. In short, your mum is wrong.

These classes kept me sane - they weren’t for the benefit of the DCs (who are now 24,22 and 14)
Your mum is right that these classes didn’t exist to the same extent 30 plus years ago, but there were probably more coffee morning type things. They’re a great thing imo, to support new mums if nothing else.

Of course it's reasonable to go.

Some sort of socialisation is important not just for the baby, but also for you! I was going stir crazy after 9 months of maternity leave, and I was getting out more than just for walks. I don't want to think about spending may leave in lockdown and no baby groups till age 3!

Having said that, calling the 'classes' makes them sound like lessons which doesn't sit quite right for me.

Certainly not unreasonable to go. But at that age I'd say it's more for mum than the baby, which there is absolutely nothing wrong with. The structure and interaction is good for you!

I went back to work when my DC were six months old. DC1 was with the childminder full time by then.

Your kid will get sick when they start meeting other kids, whether that's when they are six months old or six years old.

I do cringe when you see mothers with 3 month olds in soft plays, which turns to anger when they lay them down a cooo at them when the poor toddlers are trying to navigate their way past. You can tell these women are first time mothers

YNBU though op.

Mine never went to groups until the age of 3. Then started church nursery, baby dance, baby gymnastics, etc.

@daisypond

It’s reasonable to go to groups, but it is true that in the past there just weren’t groups like there are now for very small children. The only thing was a playgroup at about the age of three. This is the only activity I did as a small child.

Yes it’s all mushroomed since the nineties.

Nothing wrong with going. But at this age they’re really only for the parents’ benefit.