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Original poster

Would this have irritated you?

34 replies

Bloomingwild282 · 01/07/2021 08:13

I was cleaning the hoover this morning, DH walked in as I was in the middle of detaching the brush. It's one of those attachments where you need something flat to unlock it. I'd grabbed DS's ruler and turned it half way but it wasn't strong enough for the job.

DH comes in and says 'what are you doing?', I replied that I was cleaning the hoover. He took the ruler off me, grabbed a fork and tried with the prongs. I said I didn't need any help. He then uses the end of a knife and it turns, he handed it back to me and I said 'wow, you're my hero'. He said 'i was only trying to help', I said 'I didn't need help, if I needed help I would have asked but if doing that has made you feeling manly then thankyou'. He replied 'well next time you need help you can shove it up your arse'. I told him again that I didn't need help! I said let's not turn this into an argument and we left it there.

Who was being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Wonderbraaaas · 01/07/2021 08:16

Life is too short. I’d try and forgot this one and get a tea Brew

LadyEv · 01/07/2021 08:21

My partner tries to 'help' me like that. It makes me want to bury him under the patio. He should ask if you want help rather than just taking over and respect your answer.

riotlady · 01/07/2021 08:26

Both of you, tbh. He was overbearing and you were unnecessarily prickly. The knife wasn’t working so clearly you did need help!

TheChosenTwo · 01/07/2021 08:30

Blimey I just wouldn’t care about this Confused

Original poster
Bloomingwild282 · 01/07/2021 08:31

riotlady the ruler wasn't working but I was just about to grab something else to try it with so I didn't need help, I was perfectly capable of getting a knife from the draw. Yes, I was definitely prickly though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bloomingwild282 · 01/07/2021 08:32

LadyEv any room for 1 more under your patio?😄

OP posts:
DinosaurDiana · 01/07/2021 08:32

He was just helping in his own way. Next time you ask for help he’s going to throw this one back at you !
I’d have said thank you.

JamieLeeBee · 01/07/2021 08:33

@Bloomingwild282

riotlady the ruler wasn't working but I was just about to grab something else to try it with so I didn't need help, I was perfectly capable of getting a knife from the draw. Yes, I was definitely prickly though.
You mean drawer? But personally I wouldn't have thanked you for your attitude anymore than he did
Original poster
Bloomingwild282 · 01/07/2021 08:34

Ha! Yes drawer, I'll add myself to that thread that's been running 😄

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 01/07/2021 08:35

It's a non issue

HerMammy · 01/07/2021 08:35

YABU for saying ‘draw’ it’s a drawer🙄

Bluntness100 · 01/07/2021 08:38

Out of curiosity, did you genuinely think it was called a draw? I assume you must have?

On a side note, this is a petty argument where he was being over bearing and you were being overly irritated.

Original poster
Bloomingwild282 · 01/07/2021 08:38

HerMammy not unreasonable, I'm just a bit thick tbh!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bloomingwild282 · 01/07/2021 08:39

Bluntness100 yeh, I'm not very clever. I think you're right, we were both at fault.

OP posts:
pickingdaisies · 01/07/2021 08:45

I'd have been prickly too! "Helping" without asking is one thing, but grabbing something out of my hands would send me into a rage.

Kanaloa · 01/07/2021 08:49

You’re not thick, you just didn’t know it was ‘drawer.’ It’s quite a common spelling mistake and it’s pretty clear it was accidentally

On the argument, you were a bit snappy and he was overbearing. When you live together these little things do irritate, all you can do is just move on as long as everything is okay otherwise.

Kanaloa · 01/07/2021 08:49

Was done accidentally I meant.

pickingdaisies · 01/07/2021 08:52

And don't worry about your spelling, your meaning was clear. I've seen drawer spelt draw so many times, it's no wonder people get confused. You're not thick.

peboh · 01/07/2021 09:06

It's so silly to have a tiff over this. I'd just roll my eyes at dh in this situation. I wouldn't let it annoy or irritate me. Life is far too short to be so affected by these kind of things.

RonniePickering · 01/07/2021 09:09

I know a lot of people who pronounce drawer as draw, so I can see how the mistake can be made.
But yeah life is too short OP 🤷🏼‍♀️

RainingZen · 01/07/2021 09:11

Oh God my DH is just like this. And so much worse when he is wfh as he gets bored and just ITCHES to know what I'm doing. I get helpful advice and intervention on nearly everything. Bloody annoying but he means well.

I try and retaliate. So when he is doing something I also provide unwanted assistance. On really tiny, irritating things.

And then when he gets irritated I look oh-so-innocent and say, "well I just wanted to help you out because you helped me earlier with [whatever it was]."

That usually cures him for a day or so.

TheMotherlode · 01/07/2021 09:11

YANBU OP, I absolutely hate when people try to help me without being asked/offering first, especially when it’s men (and it’s always men who do this let’s face it)

LadyEv · 01/07/2021 09:18

I can't believe people think it's acceptable to just grab something off someone and take over without asking. At the very least it's patronising and at worse could be considered controlling. I suppose it depends on the bigger picture too, and whether it's a one off or your OH does this kind of thing on a regular basis.

In my case my partner feels he has to 'help' and usually causes more problems than he solves. He's rubbish at building flat pack but if he sees me building something he just has to come over and 'help' he'll start to screw things in or taking things out of packets I've already organised. I've asked him not to do it and ask first, but it's like he just can't help himself and as though he has some weird need to be useful or needed. And then when I inevitably snap at him he acts like a wounded animal. I don't get this strange idea that if someone forces their unwanted help on you that you have to accept it and be grateful.

LadyEv · 01/07/2021 09:22

@RainingZen

Oh God my DH is just like this. And so much worse when he is wfh as he gets bored and just ITCHES to know what I'm doing. I get helpful advice and intervention on nearly everything. Bloody annoying but he means well.

I try and retaliate. So when he is doing something I also provide unwanted assistance. On really tiny, irritating things.

And then when he gets irritated I look oh-so-innocent and say, "well I just wanted to help you out because you helped me earlier with [whatever it was]."

That usually cures him for a day or so.

That's brilliant @Rainingzen I'm going to try 'helping' my partner with something in return. I might even throw in a little mansplaining too.
BlueJag · 01/07/2021 09:25

I always use a coin to turn the screws.

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