Would it be weird to give grieving DD some cash to celebrate with his girlfriend?

[Backhills]

We lost DH after a long and difficult illness early this morning.

20yo DS1's girlfriend has an important practical test piece for her college course today, so he hasn't told her yet because he didn't want to disrupt her exam.

He's just heard she got the highest score in her cohort. It is adorable how proud he is.

He could afford to treat her himself, but I'm feeling inclined to give him/them some cash to celebrate with, I suppose as a kind of blessing to say it's OK to be happy, but also because I'm genuinely pleased for her.

Is this weird the day he lost his dad?

I'm so sorry for your loss Not weird. You both sound lovely- that was so considerate of him.

I’m sorry about your DH.

I think that’s a lovely idea.

What a shining person you are to think of someone else on the day your heart is broken. I'm so sorry for your loss.

What a terrible day for you, I’m so sorry.

But what a lovely thing.

Actually I think it's lovely and I bet your DH would have approved. When things are tough it's love, support and little bits of joy that keep you going.

So very sorry for your loss. What an absolutely lovely person you are, I wish there were more like you. 💐

I would absolutely pay for them to go out somewhere and have a nice dinner together if your DS feels up to it. Sorry for your loss .

So very sorry for your loss. I don't htink it would be weird - it's a lovely, life-affirming thing to do, if it feels right

I'm so dreadfully sorry for your loss xx

I think it's a lovely gesture to want to celebrate any kind of joy . We all could do with more of it .

I think its a lovely and loving thing to do. Your DH would be pleased and proud.

no, that's lovely - we took a shell shocked relative out for dinner on the day their long term partner died - they did not want to be alone or in the house and they still say what a lovely night it was despite the sadness.

and condolences x

I’m so sorry for your loss. It would be a lovely thing to do.

Take care of yourselves

What a beautiful idea.
Sending you love.

Another who thinks it's a lovely idea, and I'm really sorry for your loss. I echo @JoyOrbison that you have all probably been grieving for some time - I was the same when my mum was terminally ill. The day after she died my brother and I went to a local plant nursery and watched swallows and kites flying around - it felt a bit weird but then I overheard the nursery owner telling another customer that she'd recently lost her mum and so it seemed fitting that we'd gone there. Plus mum always liked a trip up there.

I hope you're all doing ok.

It's a lovely idea.
Sorry for your loss.

It's a lovely idea.

The day after the night my mother died, my siblings and me took our dad out for lunch and sat in this marvellous pub garden in the blazing sun surrounded by greenery. She'd been ill for a while and it was the start of our new life.

So so sorry for your loss OP and I hope your support network is "holding you" through similar acts of kindness as you want to do for your son. It's a lovely idea and your DH would be in agreement I'm sure!

I don't think it's weird. It's a nice thing to do.
I'm sorry about your DH.

No, not weird in the slightest. It’s lovely, and joyful, and a celebration and people coming together and all of the things that life is and should be and it doesn’t stop them from happening.

2 days after my dad died I went to Legoland with my children. I look back on it with nothing but fondness and sometimes that’s what you need.

for you, your DS and his girlfriend.

@JoyOrbison

Oh gosh op, so sorry on the loss of your dh.

If your ds wants to celebrate, absolutely let him.

I hope this doesn't upset or offend you, but when my dad passed away from cancer, as it was a terminal diagnosis, when he died. It seemed to act as obfirmation of the grieving process we had already begun weeks ago.. There is a chance you all may have been grieving for your dh if you understood it was likely he was going to. Pass away, so uyou all have spent some time in dark clouds of grief, if there is something to break those clouds go for it.

How proud would your dh be of your ds celebrating his girlfriend's success, surely he would be very, so absolutely embrace it.

I do so agree with your comment - when my DH was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he and I began to grieve together for the life we were losing. In the following 5 months, we cried and supported each other, so it was a happy release from his pain when he died.

I know he wouldn’t have wanted any of his family to continue with the awful sadness of that time.

It's a really lovely idea, but please don't keep your DH's death from her. Because otherwise she'll feel terrible if she finds out after the celebration. She'll be mortified that she was being all happy while your DS had been bereaved and she didn't know.

As long as she knows before the meal, they can both celebrate her achievement and honour and remember your DH.

It's a lovely idea x

So sorry to hear of your sad loss, but what a lovely idea for your ds. If that were me and my dh, I know he’d approve absolutely.
💐

@saraclara

It's a really lovely idea, but please don't keep your DH's death from her. Because otherwise she'll feel terrible if she finds out after the celebration. She'll be mortified that she was being all happy while your DS had been bereaved and she didn't know.

As long as she knows before the meal, they can both celebrate her achievement and honour and remember your DH.

Oh no, he's going to tell her this evening. They probably won't celebrate until the weekend.