URGENT ADVICE NEEDED ABOUT HAVING 2 CHILDREN

[Zofloralover1]

So basically me and my partner haven’t been together long and I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant and I already have a 4 year old from a previous relationship. I found out I was pregnant and we were so happy planned to keep it then last Friday we had a big argument because he’s insecure. He accuses me of stupid things like being in love with my ex or that I followed a footballer on Instagram hoping I’d get a tummy tuck and boob job out of it. Crazy I know but he understands he needs help with his anxiety and trust issues and is currently receiving help so it’s good he understands that there is a problem. However since this argument Weve not been on good terms and because of this I’m so undecided on what to do with the baby whether to keep it or not as I can’t stop thinking about all the negative things that could happen such as ending up with two children on my own if it doesn’t work out and not being able to have the freedom of a social life. Not saying I want to go out every weekend but I need a balance and I’m scared of ending up unhappy. But on the other hand I want this baby and I’m scared of regretting a termination. I’m battling myself in my own head and I guess I need some friendly advice.
What is it like having two children as a single mum? Is it doable? Will I cope? I’m just so scared can someone please help me

Look after yourself, try and get through this evening.
Then make sure that you bin him. He’s poisonous.

Now you can see who he is.

He's probably furious because he's lost his method of control over you.

Take care of yourself - someone who cared about you would understand and support you, so he's shown his true colours. You have done the right thing for you and DD, which is what is important.

Get your 4 year old fed - takeaway, toast, whatever - and hold them. And be kind to yourself, you've just had to make a hard decision to keep yourself and your child safe - and you have. x

In your shoes I would absolutely have a termination and bin the useless partner too. Just think how great your life could be with a man who's worth the oxygen he breathes.

Luckily he’s not here.. starting to feel like I’ve made a mistake. He’s texting calling me a murderer, saying there’s no chance of sorting things out and just being horrible. I’m at an all time low and don’t see how I can possibly go on any longer but I know I have to for my 4 year old. This is the worst feeling ever

Block the vicious bastard. We are here holding your hand. Total normal for this bit to be hard, that doesnt mean it's the wrong decision . You dont need him making it harder.

Block his number. Don't open the door to him. You do not want to have a child with this abusive bullying vile piece of shit. You really don't.

He is a controlling and abusive cunt. He is angry because you have escaped his clutches - Don't list to a word he says, block him on every platform and move on, knowing that you have given this nasty fucker the boot. You will feel better once he is out of your life for good.

I think you need to see this as a positive. You have absolutely made the right decision considering his response.

take care of yourself.

Be ready for him to switch tack and love bomb you again at some stage when the threats and hurtful words don't work.

I’ve begged and begged said I won’t take the second lot of tablets and hopefully we can still have a pregnancy and he’s said ‘the baby is damaged now fuck off’ told me to fuck off out his life, he hates me, to stay the fuck away from him, he doesn’t associate with people like me and he doesn’t love me anymore. I’ve done nothing but beg and beg said I’ll do anything to make it right. Before I took this tablet though he said he’d have to be there to support me and that’s it my body so I need to do what will make me happy in the long run and now this. I know your all saying it’s a lucky escape but I feel like I’ve just lost everything all at once

Block him!

You can’t really think it’s a mistake to cut all ties with someone who would call you a murderer?

I'd have an abortion. Why have a child with a man you don't really know. It's hard work. Also what happens when you meet man no3 have a baby and have 3 kids 3 different men. If it isn't working then I wouldn't tie myself to him

I know your all saying it’s a lucky escape but I feel like I’ve just lost everything all at once

You’ve just won the lottery OP because you’ve found out before it’s too late exactly how abusive and cruel he is. You need to block him and remind yourself of how unbelievably nasty he is being every time you even think about going begging him to take you back. Please take the second tablet and get the hell away from this scumbag. Your 4 year old does not deserve to be exposed to someone like him!

What does your sister think?

You got the tablets quick. Isn't it usually weeks of waiting and a us scan and therapy. It's a 2 doctor consent isn't it for a termination

I think you have to make a decision on the fact you'll be a single parent.

I've been a single parent to 2 dc and it's not easy.

Your dp needs to address his jealousy, I've also lived, and married, someone like this and it was hell. It took me years to extract myself from the relationship, but I'm so glad we didn't have dc. It would have been 100x worse with dc.

Seriously, end it. The way he is talking to you will only escalate, it will get worse and worse. The accusations, the abusive language, this could be your every day life if you don’t end it. Everyday this guy will accuse you of something, many of us have been there and it’s really fucking hard to get out of, so do it now before he really fucks with your head. He’s already done a number on you.

Goodness my lovely, please don't beg to get him back. Let him go. He definitely does not have your best interests at heart. Better things await you.

Take the second tablet, block the prick and be done, and enjoy single life with you and your four year old

He is seriously nasty and you should finish with him anyway.

I can only say what I would do in your shoes.
I seriously wouldn't have a baby with this man and be definitely looking at my options even if there is only one!
If you have this baby you are permanently linked to him one way or another.
My sister was in your shoes 34 years ago. She had a termination which was challenging and a struggle for her at the time. However she does not regret her choice .
She now has a very successful and well balanced 28 year old and is happily married to her son's father. She knows that 'arsehole' as he is referred to would permanently be putting a stick in the works trying to upset her happy life for that is what 'areshole" is still doing to a string of exes who had kids with him, the sad loser.
Make your own happiness and be free from control

Relationships should not be like this.
You have dodged a bullet, make sure you dodge it fully by taking the second tablet.

You made the right decision.

Block him.

Focus on your 4yo.

Everything else will unfold over time.

And, use contraception until you actively decide to get pregnant again.