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Is this enough presents for my niece?

23 replies

LadyEv · 28/06/2021 15:13

My niece will be 2 next week. I asked her parents what she would like for her birthday, and they sent me a link to a website which sold educational games and told me to pick something off there. So I bought her two age appropriate games. I told my brother which ones I'd bought so nobody else accidentally got her the same ones. I've also got her some other presents that my brother doesn't know about. These are a pair of Cars Pajamas (as that is one of her favourite films at the moment) and a book about a very long sausage dog (because they have a daschund.)

But I still feel as though it's not enough. For context and as not to drop feed; She is my only siblings only child. My partner has no siblings so we'll never have any nieces and nephews on his side. My mum died when my niece was 4 months old and my dad is a disinterested alcoholic, who's completely off on his own agenda most of the time. He's been causing a lot of frustration and anguish for the family lately. But that's a whole other thread.

I suppose sometimes I feel as though I'm over compensating for my dad's lack of interest by trying to fill the void with gifts from me instead. Though at this stage I realise this is more to do with proving to my brother and his partner that his family do actually care about my niece. Rather than it just being about my niece as I realise the concept of gifts will still largely go over her head.

Having had no experience of buying family Children gifts until my niece came along. What's the etiquette? How many gifts are appropriate? or what over all value is acceptable.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 28/06/2021 15:14

That’s plenty

Sorry about your family

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 28/06/2021 15:15

Two games, pjs and a book is loads.

My children receive presents from about 15 people. It quickly adds up into overload.

namechange30455 · 28/06/2021 15:15

That's loads OP.

I think any more and you'd risk looking OTT.

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emmathedilemma · 28/06/2021 15:20

More than enough IMO. I'd maybe have bought PJs and a book or a game and a book. If i buy them clothes I try and add a book or small toy as well so they have something that's a bit more fun (although one of my nephews absolutely loves getting clothes!). I usually aim to spend £25-30 each at Xmas and birthdays. I used to try and stick to £20 but the cost of things has gone up over the years.

bakingdemon · 28/06/2021 15:24

That is more than enough. It took my 2yo a week to open all his birthday presents as he was overwhelmed by so many on one day so we spread them out

LadyEv · 28/06/2021 15:24

I know she will get lots of presents off other people for her birthday as her mum's family are very close and involved and they're also having a party for her too. So I'm not worried about her not getting anything. Thanks for the feedback I won't get her anything else.

OP posts:
merryhouse · 28/06/2021 15:26

I see where you're coming from - you're basically trying to be grandparents as well as aunty, aren't you?

I think what you've got is fine. It's more than would be expected from most aunties but I think your brother will understand why.

In terms of showing them you care, you don't need to get more stuff. Your choice of stuff demonstrates that pretty well: you've taken on their educational suggestions, added a book (always a good idea) and then got something frivolous chosen specifically for the child's interests.

Tiredmum100 · 28/06/2021 15:27

Sounds lovely. Shes lucky she's got an aunt like you and I'm sure your brother will pleased with the effort you've made!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 28/06/2021 15:32

For future reference (not this birthday!) Season tickets are great presents for nieces and nephews... although ask where the parents would like to take them!

bookh · 28/06/2021 15:33

You sound like a lovely aunt and that sounds great.

I have a daughter similar age and would be delighted at that.

With covid things are obviously a little different just now. However, until I had Dd my niece and nephew were the only children. I would take them somewhere fun every month or so as a regular "treat". Farm park, soft play, swimming, cinema when older. Gave sil a break and I loved the time with them. Also broke up the gifts a little.

I appreciate they may not want/need that but just an idea. They could always go as well if not at leaving her stage.

ColonelNobbyNobbs · 28/06/2021 15:34

You sound really nice and caring OP. a lovely auntie. Those presents sound perfect.

Snog · 28/06/2021 15:49

Young children get over whelmed pretty quickly by lots of gifts OP, so in my experience more certainly isn't better.

Spending time playing with your two year old niece really is a hundred times better than any gift.

Enough4me · 28/06/2021 16:03

All sounds lovely she might not have a wide family, but she does have a lovely Aunt!

2021DNA · 28/06/2021 16:04

I think they are lovely and thoughtful gifts x

Prettypennies · 28/06/2021 16:07

Well done auntie you’re doing a great job 😃

LadyEv · 28/06/2021 16:08

Thanks for all the present ideas for future birthdays. I'd never thought about a season ticket or taking her somewhere, that's a really good idea. I also want to say thank you for all being so kind and understanding with me. Xx

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 28/06/2021 16:12

They sound like lovely presents and in my opinion about the right amount from an auntie, not massively extravagant but lovely for you to be so generous

BingBongToTheMoon · 28/06/2021 16:14

I’d buy her a sweetie and call it a day.

Whatwouldnanado · 28/06/2021 16:23

What you have bought is plenty. Being there to give her a cuddle and have fun will mean the most. Take photos at her party for an album, laugh with her and make memories. You sound lovely and she's lucky to have you .

ToDoListAddict · 28/06/2021 16:23

Tbh at 2, she probably won't even notice how many presents you buy her. I think just showing up and interacting with her, playing games, listening to her stories - all these things will be what makes her happiest on her birthday x

GiantKitten · 28/06/2021 16:28

The presents you’ve chosen sound perfect (esp the Cars pyjamas!) and it’s lovely that you’re so involved Smile

fwiw, when you see something you think she would really like, at this age I would just go ahead, get it and give it to her straight away instead of waiting for birthday/Christmas. My DGD was 2 last week and has had several “birthday” presents over the last 3 months or so because I knew she’d enjoy them at the time rather than having them all at once later.

On her actual birthday she had just 3 things (plus some clothes, which are mostly for her mum anyway Grin)

MindyStClaire · 28/06/2021 16:32

That's loads! I have a 3 year old and soon to be 1 year old - we recently did some work on the house and as part of the rearranging had all the toys out. I took a photo and sent it to my family with a "no more, please!!!".

You sound like a lovely aunt. Take an interest, spend time with them if logistics allow, all that stuff. You don't need to make up for the rest of your family with toys!

TheCanyon · 28/06/2021 16:36

I agree that's plenty of presents. I usually spend about £40 for birthdays and christmas now but I sure as hell overly spoiled my first nephew. Got 4 dn's and 7 step dn's now, no wonder I'm skint Grin

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