Is anyone 50 soon? Or just turned 50?

[UnwantedGain]

How do you feel about it?
I’m trying not to feel like rubbish about it but it’s hard not to.
I feel doors are shutting, I also had my youngest dc at 40 so I’m still doing the school run with all the young mums (as well as some older ones).
I also feel more aware of having less life in front of me than behind me.
It’s making me feel low and I really, really do not want to celebrate my birthday this year.
I’m not miserable, and am thankful for all I have. I understand that it’s a privilege to grow old, and not die young, it also feels crap.

Hiya! DH just turned 50 this month, and I turn 50 in December. I guess, while it ain't great, and it hit DH a bit harder than we thought it would - it's still just a number. Yes, doors are shutting - they've always been shutting. We're still here, and we'll find our way, make our opportunities, deal with our disappointments, and enjoy that we're still relatively young, fit, and healthy.

Fifty for us, is very different to fifty for our parents' generation, I feel.

I do empathise with you. I'm 55 in the autumn. Generally I'm ok with it as I am of the mindset that I'm lucky to be getting older as I had friends that didn't make it to 50 and my sister died at 59.
However, yes it can be tough! The aches and pains, I have my own business and work very very hard (it's physical work too) so am knackered all the time. I have always been really fit and had a fantastic body (even if I do say so myself) but now feel fat and frumpy. I never have the energy to exercise as I work so hard.
Mostly I'm ok though.
Maybe you should think about some counselling? Sometimes is good to be able to talk to someone not connected to you at all who can help you sort your thoughts out?
xxx

Thanks for your replies
I don’t think I need counselling. It feels good just hearing from others who understand it.
Physically, I feel ok though I could do with losing some weight! It’s just a mental thing. I feel ok telling people I am 49, I just don’t feel good about saying I’m 50.

I'm 52 but don't feel like it! Yes, it's a big number but other than that I don't think about it. I certainly don't feel or act like I'm old.

I still laugh at farts

I’ve recently turned 52 and, like you, still have a primary school child, OP.

I don’t mind too much. Whilst I’m dyeing away my grey hair for now and still wrangling the perimenopause (still! Wish periods would just fuck off now) I do feel like I’ve gone through a door and not looked back. I don’t mind being middle aged now. I’m financially comfortable, no longer working and looking forward to DH taking early retirement soon so we can do some fun things. We’re fit and healthy for now and have a lot to be grateful for.

Yes. when people ask me how I feel about turning 50 my answer is always 'I don't like the alternative'.

I just turned 50, it's a whole life shift isn't it? Kids are all graduating and starting out thinking they know it all and we've been there and done it all

First friend in my friendship group is about to become a Granny, I'm so envious but bloody hell, a GRANNY ,already, how is that possible?

And then there's the menopause....

Yeah, I hear you OP.

50 this year and I feel really sad about it, I feel old. My best days are behind me. Covid hasn't helped. Neither does having grown out my lovely dyed locks over the past year.

Yeah it’s weird, so strange, like how the fuck can I be 50 when I was 25 last year!!?
But like you, I had my little one at 43 so still doing the whole bringing up a little kid as well as an 18 year old.
Dunno, it doesn’t bother me too much, I am winding down to working my last few years at work and mortgage is nearly paid off.
Health is ok, I’m fat and grumpy but to my kids I’m perfection and that’s all I care about.
We have holidays, fun, a nice life so I’m making the most of every moment.
I know how fast time is going.

I’ve been alive 5 lots of 10 years….10 years is a blink of an eye!

I turned 50 this year, also with a primary age child still. It kind of feels like turning 40 was 'supposed to'. But I was pregnant then, and wrangling toddlers too, so didn't really notice (or feel at all old). I did notice 50 and I'm not happy about it. But like everyone else says, better than the alternative!

Me.

I feel ok about it. I’m in good health and fitter than I’ve ever been. DCs are teens so I took the leap from a school hours job to full time and it’s been great, plus more money.

I’m just about to start divorce proceedings, which is a bit of a downer, but I made my peace with the end of my marriage a long time ago.

I feel a lot more optimistic about it than I did at 40’when the opposite of the above was true.

I did have a very ‘wtf, 50’ moment the day before. My twenties seemed like 2 years ago.

I had my DC a lot younger so for me turning 40 was the “big one” where I felt old! My DC were adults, I was no longer in my 30s (which is still considered “young” I think). Saying I was 40 sounded in my head so much worse than 39. So by the time I reached 50 I’d come to terms with it and it didn’t matter. I don’t think I’ll be that bothered at 60 either.

I feel happy with where I am in life. No major worries. Some annoyances, like peri menopause, but that will pass. I’ve perfected the art of not caring what others think. So it’s all good.

I'm 55 and still have a child at middle school. Am in the process of being made redundant and have been worrying about being over the hill re a job but have made 3 applications in the last week and have got two interviews already so suddenly feeling very optimistic about life opening up!

For me making the mental shift has been key - kind of owning it, I think. For ages I was feeling low-key shit about the fact that I've lost my sexual currency and slipped into the invisibility cloak of the middle aged woman but I think you have to actively embrace a new identity. Seek out women who are bossing it - not by ruthlessly pursuing youth in the manner of Nigella etc but who seem to be ageing serenely and have interesting, fulfilling lives. I reassessed my style a bit and ditched the frilly, lacy and studenty in favour of crisper and simpler, which seems to match my mood better these days. I have less patience with unnecessary details!

I turned 50 last year and it was a big wake up call, along with the health concerns related to the pandemic. It made me focus on my health as I realised if I don’t I may well have been facing a rapid decline in my health and ability to enjoy my life. It sounds dramatic I know, but it brought things into sharp focus. So, I lost weight and take exercise seriously for the first time ever. Of course I may still become ill, but I’m going to do all I can to avoid it.

Also, after over a decade of losing myself in motherhood, I finally feel like ‘me’ again and make sure I put myself first when it comes to looking after myself. I think I’m a better person and mother because of it.

I was 50 in January and it's still sinking in. I wasn't at all bothered about 30 and 40 I didn't care for but 50 is taking ages to get used to.

Yes just turned 50 and sort of felt depressed about it, the senior mail I kept getting is not helping. I have always felt and looked younger but not sure if it’s mental attitude but I feel like my looks are rapidly going !! Maybe it’s just the fact it’s a landmark birthday

I will be 50 next year and I feel fine about it. It feels like a good milestone and I will have a big party, Covid permitting.

It probably helps that some of my friends and colleagues, also my DH, are 55 plus.

I have a child in year 3 though and I'm very aware I need to keep on top of my health and fitness for her.

I think there's a tendency to look backwards and only remembered the good bits...

Yes my 20s were fun...but I had no money as a student and once I was working, worked very long hours and was on a stressful learning curve. Its easy for me to forget just how much work took out of me back then (and why I partied so hard as a result!).

Yes my 30s were fun...but there was that pressure of everyone starting to settle down and if you weren't in a couple, worried if you ever would be. (In hindsight I can see being a couple isn't the be all and end all but its a bit different at 34 going to endless weddings...).

My early 40s were a whirlwind of toddlerdom and knackering. Wouldn't go back to that for anything.

I'm hoping my 50s will actually be fun. I have financial stability. I now understand what good friendships are and am more bothered about quality than quantity.

I’ll be turning 50 in October and I’m very positive about it strangely enough!

Youngest DC will have just started secondary school, other 3 are all at Uni and working (1WFH) so less pressure to deal with on that front. I’m aiming to go back to work by the end of the year after 13 years as a SAHM. I started weight training 3 years ago and feel stronger physically and mentally than I ever have in my life. I haven’t suffered through peri menopause at all thankfully and in fact I feel more sexy now than I have in a long time. DH is turning 53 a day before I turn 50 but he’s also keep himself very fit and I still fancy him like mad. We’ve been experiencing a bit of a 2nd wind (almost 28 years in!) and get on so much better now the DC are self sufficient and we can go out when we want and do what we want (one of the older DCs are usually around to keep an eye on youngest). We managed our first post DC weekend away last year (oldest is 24!) and only left the hotel room to go out for dinner! We’d actually booked to go to a beautiful resort in Turkey for my 49th last year, first post DC holiday on our own, but it was cancelled a few days before . Hoping to go away for a week for my 50th if we can Covid permitting.

I’m so glad my child bearing days are over and am enjoying focussing on me now and making the best of what I’ve got. I do not envy younger women dealing with small DC’s at all! Looking forward to GC in the next 10 years so I can enjoy them then hand them back!

I'm currently in my last month of being 50.

I married at 19, had my first child at 21, was divorced at 23, remarried at 25 and had two other children at ages 27 & 30. I became a grandmother at ages 41 & 44. I started to see gray hairs at 18 and by age 45, I accepted that I had 90% white hair, not even gray hair and ditched the dye. Peri menopause started to be felt at age 46. I feel as though I have been a little bit old for my age.

Now, I am feeling better in myself.

I am a bit creaky and I have strange aches and pains but I will be the first to admit that I hardly exercised and took care of my health, especially in my 40's and stressors were absolutely rife then too. I've also spent the past few months changing my diet and reassessing my relationship with alcohol (we are on a break). I've started to rediscover pursuits that I had when I was much younger: riding a bike for pleasure, dancing, learning a new language, roller skating (it's scarier than I remember!), jump roping, and just finding time to have fun. My nearly nine-year-old granddaughter is amused that grandma can jump with her on the trampoline. What she doesn't know is that grandma feels like death the next day. I'm finally feeling much happier than I did in my 40's, that's for sure.

I'm hoping you start feeling better soon, OP.

I turned 50 in January which was pretty shit but more because of lockdown than the age I think. I also had my children late so have 1 at primary and 2 just started secondary. That keeps me young at least, I have no plans to slow down and went back to FT work earlier this year. Retirement seems a long way away.

I'll be 50 next spring. Not impressed, really. But on the plus side I am slimmer and fitter than I was in my 20s or for most of my 30s and am in good health.

50 soon and currently losing weight in advance, which is nice after a few years of relentless gains. Reasonably fit bar sore feet.

Can't complain. Going to try some HRT and buy some jewellery!

Turning 50 didnt feel any different to me. I felt happier and more sorted than I had in a long time. Circumstances soon turned to shit and I'm still unpicking them.

I'm starting to feel old now and I'm constantly tired. I'm hoping that once I've processed stuff I'll feel better.