Yuck factor too high

[PussGirl]

Putting the cat bowls in the dishwasher (scraped out, rinsed out)

Using the kitchen cloths (dishcloth, tea towel, hand towel) after they've fallen on the floor

Eating the sex cucumber in a salad (washed, peeled, chopped)

does anyone else have a KITCHEN HAND TOWEL????

@SorrySoldOut

does anyone else have a KITCHEN HAND TOWEL????

Yes, doesn't everyone?

I do. It's actually a thick tea towel. I also have a medium thick tea towel and two thin ones. No sex cucumbers though!

Is this supposed to be funny?

@bringincrazyback

no kitchen towels here.
we use microfibre clothes. the clean ones live in a box under the sink, dirty ones get taken upstairs to be washed - they don't sit around for ages
we use a bunch of them every day.

Even regular cucumbers 🥒 freeze in my fridge. Perhaps that’s why I don’t have a sex cucumber?

autocorrect keeps correcting cucumber to customer, not sure it that’s better or worse

The dog bowls get washed with hot water daily and occasionally then popped in the dishwasher.

Intrigued as to what other vegetables I should no longer eat when invited to friends for a meal

What a lame attempt at trying to make a classic 🙄

Eh, whatever gets you through the night. (The PPs posts for a laugh, not the cucumber, obviously)

Autocorrect now accepts cucumber. Rather than customer.

That will be fun in work tomorrow.

@Yoyooo

What a lame attempt at trying to make a classic 🙄

agreed

Well, then. Does the vibrator go in the dishwasher?

I wouldn't have thought so, unless it's waterproof. Electricity and all. I wonder if they come with 'dishwasher safe' labelling?

LMAO

You either think the dishwasher cleans things, or it doesn't clean things.

For example, why would a dishwasher magically clean away all traces of raw chicken from a board - but somehow manage to not wash away all traces of a cat licked bowl?

You to put the collected salvia of your family into their forks, spoons, glasses etc) and that's not gross??

A lot of MNers are evidently too young to remember the cartoon-type book entitled, ‘Cucumbers are better than men, because…’.

One reason was because they didn’t care if you hadn’t shaved your legs - nowadays I dare say that would include another area.

A second was, ‘No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber.’
Can’t remember any more, sorry. 🙂

The sex cucumber was an admittedly not very funny attempt at humour

the ridges look much too uncomfortable without peeling first & then there's no way it'd be going in the salad

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER i loved that book!
average cucumber is at least six inches long.

1. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
2. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.
3. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.
4. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
5. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
6. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
7. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
8. With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'.

10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. 11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat. 12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home. 13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn. 14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival. 15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?' 16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin. 17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin. 18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin. 19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once. 20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall. 21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups. 22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?' 23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser. 24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one. 25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator. 26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over. 27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber. 28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law & Sister, after fucking it. 29. Cucumbers can handle rejection. 30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache. 31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is. 32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet. 33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent. 34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry. 35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow. 36. A cucumber will never give you a hickey. 37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot. 38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink. 39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat. 40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car. 41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor. 42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library. 43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest. 44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray. 45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor. 46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet. 47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower. 48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it. 49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold. 50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair. 51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber. 52. You will always know where your cucumber has been. 53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'. 54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them. 55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle. 56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it. 57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber. 58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve. 59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom. 60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers. 61. It's easy to drop a cucumber. 62. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything.

@SorrySoldOut

does anyone else have a KITCHEN HAND TOWEL????

Of course. What do other people dry their hands on if not,?

But OP how dirty is your kitchen floor that a towel dropping onto it becomes instantly contaminated?

It's just a thing I can't bear - the floor isn't any more dirty than average - most likely a lot cleaner than some but I'm not a clean freak by any means

But OP how dirty is your kitchen floor that a towel dropping onto it becomes instantly contaminated?

I don't think a hand towel would be necessarily, but a teatowel is for dishes and surfaces. It should be very clean.

Eye roll. This hygiene standard bollocks has been done to death.

I always have a tea towel and a kitchen hand towel.. I wouldn’t wash my dishes and my body with the same sponge, so I don’t dry my dishes and my hands with the same towel! There’s lots of things that my mum did as “normal” that I find pretty weird as an adult, but having two separate towels in the kitchen I agree with her on.

I don’t have a hand towel and never have

I have no idea how I’ve brought up 5 kids and had a DH and a dp and nobody has said a word or died from germs

I’m amazed. I’m a dirty cow that’s for sure, but a healthy one!!

Omg this feels like the Penis Beaker all over again

Also... please never invite me for a Xmas buffet at your place 🥒

A moon cup in the dishwasher is fucking grim

@CheddarGorge

Omg this feels like the Penis Beaker all over again

Having read Penis Beaker, im not sure what the big deal was

I think the penis beaker was a big deal because it was a particular thing, rather than just dabbling it in the night glass of water or using some random piece of crockery - a bit like if I started drying my dishes on the hand towel, rather than having separate hand and tea towels.